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Correction /Cover letter
Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux, chansons || En basCorrection /Cover letter
Message de kafee posté le 16-09-2012 à 13:25:55 (S | E | F)
Hello everyone,
I have written a cover letter to work in a coffee shop. I will be very grateful if someone could correct my letter. You can say what you think about it as well. Do you think it necessary to write that I have a diploma in art for a work in a coffee shop, or do you think that may prove I am serious and reliable?
Thank you for all your answers
Dear Sir/Madam
I am writing to apply for the post of team member in your coffee shop. I am very interested in this position and I think I am suitable for this job as I have many of the necessary skills.
I worked in 2011 as shop assistant in a Bakery in xxx, France, where my respondsabilities included dealing with people, handling money, preparing sandwitchs arranging food and cleaning sales area. I have been working as au pair since September 2011 and therefore I am able to learn quickly and to adapt myself to new situations. Also, as you will see in my enclosed CV, I have seven year's experience working as youth leader and camp counselor in various communities centers in France and therefore I enjoy working as a part of a team and work well under pressure.
In addition I have recently completed a Master Degree in Asian Art and Civilisation from xxx University, France and I have first aid certificate. I am reliable and calm. I have excelent communication, numeracy and organisation skills. Besides speaking English fluently I am native French speaker. ( Its not really true but, I have been advised to write I speak fluent English, otherwise you do can't have an interview)
I am available to start immediately. I would be happy to arrange a suitabe time for an interview. My contact details are on my CV.
I hope you will consider my application and I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully
My name
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-09-2012 13:29
Message de kafee posté le 16-09-2012 à 13:25:55 (S | E | F)
Hello everyone,
I have written a cover letter to work in a coffee shop. I will be very grateful if someone could correct my letter. You can say what you think about it as well. Do you think it necessary to write that I have a diploma in art for a work in a coffee shop, or do you think that may prove I am serious and reliable?
Thank you for all your answers
Dear Sir/Madam
I am writing to apply for the post of team member in your coffee shop. I am very interested in this position and I think I am suitable for this job as I have many of the necessary skills.
I worked in 2011 as shop assistant in a Bakery in xxx, France, where my respondsabilities included dealing with people, handling money, preparing sandwitchs arranging food and cleaning sales area. I have been working as au pair since September 2011 and therefore I am able to learn quickly and to adapt myself to new situations. Also, as you will see in my enclosed CV, I have seven year's experience working as youth leader and camp counselor in various communities centers in France and therefore I enjoy working as a part of a team and work well under pressure.
In addition I have recently completed a Master Degree in Asian Art and Civilisation from xxx University, France and I have first aid certificate. I am reliable and calm. I have excelent communication, numeracy and organisation skills. Besides speaking English fluently I am native French speaker. ( Its not really true but, I have been advised to write I speak fluent English, otherwise you do can't have an interview)
I am available to start immediately. I would be happy to arrange a suitabe time for an interview. My contact details are on my CV.
I hope you will consider my application and I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully
My name
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 16-09-2012 13:29
Réponse: Correction /Cover letter de gerondif, postée le 16-09-2012 à 14:36:16 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Dear Sir/Madam
I am writing to apply for the post of team-member in your coffee shop. I am very interested in this position and I think I am suitable for this job as I have many of the necessary skills.
I worked in 2011 as a shop assistant in a Bakery in xxx, France, where my respondsabilities included dealing with people, handling money, preparing sandwitchs arranging food and cleaning the sales area. I have been working as an au pair since September 2011 and therefore I am able to/I can learn/ learn quickly and to adapt myself to new situations. Also(un peu léger en début de phrase; Moreover = de plus), as you will see in my enclosed CV, I have seven year's (seven years') experience working as a youth leader and camp counsell( 2 l en anglais, 1 l en américain)or in various communities centers (community centres, 1er élément d'un mot composé invariable, + center est l'orthographe américaine, centre est l'orthographe britannique) in France and therefore I enjoy working as
In addition, I have recently completed a Master's Degree in Asian Art and Civilisation from xxx University, France and I have first aid certificate. I am reliable and calm. I have excellent communication, numeracy and organisation skills. Besides speaking English fluently, I am a native French speaker. ( Its not really true but, I have been advised to write I speak fluent English, otherwise you
I am available to start (working) immediately. I would be happy to arrange a suitable time for an interview. My contact details are on my CV.
I hope you will consider my application and I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully
Réponse: Correction /Cover letter de kafee, postée le 16-09-2012 à 14:55:53 (S | E)
Merci lucile83 pour ta correction et tes commentaires, cela va beaucoup m'aider. You're a star
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-09-2012 14:58
euh...c'est gerondif qui vous a aidée, pas moi
Réponse: Correction /Cover letter de kafee, postée le 17-09-2012 à 14:28:24 (S | E)
Ah ben oups
. Merci Gerondif pour ta correction. Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux, chansons
