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Correction/ lettre motivation
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Message de picarda posté le 30-12-2013 à 16:49:29 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
En ce moment j'écris une lettre de motivation pour pouvoir partir l'année prochaine à l'étranger pour réaliser un stage de 8 mois.
J'aimerais que vous me disiez si le paragraphe que j'ai écrit comporte des fautes et s'il est bien rédigé.
Merci de vos réponses.
Voici la lettre :
Dear Sir or Madam,
Currently a vocational degree student, I wish to enroll on a DUETI program (an add-on year abroad) to improve my English and discover new work experience. As part of the DUETI, I’m searching for an 8-month-minimum concept design internship.
I will get my Vocational Bachelor’s Degree in design engineering around June 2014. That is why this internship seems to me particulary suitable for deepening » my knowledge and applying my acquired knowledge. Thus, I would like to increase my experience in this area, especially in the field of design and bring you my rigour and dynamism.
My training, added to my personal capacities of rigour and dynamism, allow me to be quickly operational in a design and engineering office dedicated to the design and development. The internship will be carried out for an 8-month-minimum from September.
Thank you for taking the time to read my application. I enclose my CV for your information. IF you need more details please contact me. I'm looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-12-2013 17:34
Message de picarda posté le 30-12-2013 à 16:49:29 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
En ce moment j'écris une lettre de motivation pour pouvoir partir l'année prochaine à l'étranger pour réaliser un stage de 8 mois.
J'aimerais que vous me disiez si le paragraphe que j'ai écrit comporte des fautes et s'il est bien rédigé.
Merci de vos réponses.
Voici la lettre :
Dear Sir or Madam,
Currently a vocational degree student, I wish to enroll on a DUETI program (an add-on year abroad) to improve my English and discover new work experience. As part of the DUETI, I’m searching for an 8-month-minimum concept design internship.
I will get my Vocational Bachelor’s Degree in design engineering around June 2014. That is why this internship seems to me particulary suitable for deepening » my knowledge and applying my acquired knowledge. Thus, I would like to increase my experience in this area, especially in the field of design and bring you my rigour and dynamism.
My training, added to my personal capacities of rigour and dynamism, allow me to be quickly operational in a design and engineering office dedicated to the design and development. The internship will be carried out for an 8-month-minimum from September.
Thank you for taking the time to read my application. I enclose my CV for your information. IF you need more details please contact me. I'm looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-12-2013 17:34
Réponse: Correction/ lettre motivation de carr30, postée le 30-12-2013 à 17:30:34 (S | E)
Hello
Apart from the redundant definite article this is syntactically perfect. I might have said 'broadening my knowledge and applying my existing expertise' but this is a style issue.
Voici la lettre :
Dear Sir or Madam,
Currently a vocational degree student, I wish to enroll on a DUETI program (an add-on year abroad) to improve my English and discover new work experience. As part of the DUETI, I’m searching for an 8-month-minimum concept design internship.
I will get my Vocational Bachelor’s Degree in design engineering around June 2014. That is why this internship seems to me particulary suitable for deepening » my knowledge and applying my acquired knowledge. Thus, I would like to increase my experience in this area, especially in the field of design and bring you my rigour and dynamism.
My training, added to my personal capacities of rigour and dynamism, allow me to be quickly operational in a design and engineering office dedicated to
Thank you for taking the time to read my application. I enclose my CV for your information. IF you need more details please contact me. I'm looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully.
Réponse: Correction/ lettre motivation de picarda, postée le 30-12-2013 à 17:53:51 (S | E)
Thanks for your help.
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