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Correction/ lettre motivation
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Message de fff37 posté le 14-01-2015 à 00:23:04 (S | E | F)
Hi everyone !
Je voudrais vous demander votre aide concernant ma lettre de motivation pour un échange universitaire. Merci pour vos réponses.
Voici ma lettre:
Dear Sir or Madam
I am currently a student in foreign languages at the university of XXX, and I wish to join YYYYY university for one year.
After some testimonies of students who have been in Bucknell university, I was very attracted to complete my third degree in this university during one year.
Knowing the other's culture is one my passion and is one of the reasons why I decide to choose a far away destination. Thus It would be an opportunity to understand more the American culture and way of life.
Moreover, a year in this university will be an amazing experience. Indeed, United states would be a springboard for my next academic degree, because of the courses taught in YYYYYY university as Global management, which will give me advantages and a different point of view. Moreover, it will help me for my future, that is to say to become an international buyer. At least,, It will be beneficial to improve my spoken English and also to communicate with English speakers.
Furthermore I am a serious, dynamic, and independent person, I also travelled in some countries such as The republic of Ireland or the United states of America. Thus, I had the opportunity once to go for 2 months in New York city ( Bronx).And also 2 months in the republic of Ireland, which enabled me to improve my English and also to discover more the Irish and American culture.
This experience would be a major advantage in the construction of my professional career and will enable me to improve my spoken English and to get used to the American life and habbits.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-01-2015 07:33
Message de fff37 posté le 14-01-2015 à 00:23:04 (S | E | F)
Hi everyone !
Je voudrais vous demander votre aide concernant ma lettre de motivation pour un échange universitaire. Merci pour vos réponses.
Voici ma lettre:
Dear Sir or Madam
I am currently a student in foreign languages at the university of XXX, and I wish to join YYYYY university for one year.
After some testimonies of students who have been in Bucknell university, I was very attracted to complete my third degree in this university during one year.
Knowing the other's culture is one my passion and is one of the reasons why I decide to choose a far away destination. Thus It would be an opportunity to understand more the American culture and way of life.
Moreover, a year in this university will be an amazing experience. Indeed, United states would be a springboard for my next academic degree, because of the courses taught in YYYYYY university as Global management, which will give me advantages and a different point of view. Moreover, it will help me for my future, that is to say to become an international buyer. At least,, It will be beneficial to improve my spoken English and also to communicate with English speakers.
Furthermore I am a serious, dynamic, and independent person, I also travelled in some countries such as The republic of Ireland or the United states of America. Thus, I had the opportunity once to go for 2 months in New York city ( Bronx).And also 2 months in the republic of Ireland, which enabled me to improve my English and also to discover more the Irish and American culture.
This experience would be a major advantage in the construction of my professional career and will enable me to improve my spoken English and to get used to the American life and habbits.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 14-01-2015 07:33
Réponse: Correction/ lettre motivation de gerondif, postée le 14-01-2015 à 00:51:23 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
erreus en bleu, corrections éventuells en vert
Dear Sir or Madam
I am currently a student in foreign languages at the university of XXX, and I wish to join YYYYY university for one year.
After(d'après, et non pas après!) some testimonies of students who have been in Bucknell university, I was very attracted to(mauvais choix) complete my third degree in this university during(mauvais choix de traduction pour "pendant") one year.
Knowing the other's(un pluriel irait mieux) culture is one of my passions and is one of the reasons why I decide(prétérit préférable) to choose a far away destination. Thus It would be an opportunity to understand more(à mettre en fin de phrase, et better irait mieux) the American culture and way of life.
Moreover, a year in this university will be an amazing experience. Indeed, The United states would be a springboard for my next academic degree, because of the courses taught in YYYYYY university as Global management, which will give me advantages and a different point of view. Moreover, it will help me for my future, that is to say to become an international buyer. At least,, It will be beneficial to improve my spoken English and also to communicate with English speakers.
Furthermore I am a serious, dynamic, and independent person, I also travelled in some countries such as The republic of Ireland or the United states of America. Thus, I had the opportunity once to go for 2 months in(avec go, déplacement, donc "to") New York city ( The Bronx (vous devriez connaitre le nom correct des endroits où cous êtes allé, the USA,the Bronx)).(pas très élégant, une phrase sans verbe ) And also 2 months in the republic of Ireland, which enabled me to improve my English and also to discover more(à placer en fin de phrase) the Irish and American culture.
This experience would be a major advantage in the construction of my professional career and will enable me to improve my spoken English and to get used to the American life and habbits.(un seul b)
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
Réponse: Correction/ lettre motivation de fff37, postée le 14-01-2015 à 21:08:26 (S | E)
Merci ! Grâce à toi je n'enverrai pas ma lettre avec ce genre de faute ;)
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