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Oral/notion de progrès
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Message de claire18 posté le 25-04-2018 à 17:35:20 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis une élève de terminale S, j'ai préparé ma notion de progrès pour mon oral d'anglais, malheureusement je ne maîtrise pas la syntaxe anglaise.
Est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait corriger ma notion ?
Merci d'avance, c'est très gentil.
I am going to deal with the notion of progress. Progress it is ,generally, an advancement technological, social, medical or scientific in order to make a better society. According to my, the Internet progress it is the best model to illustrate this notion. So my problematic issue will be Internet progress a true achievement ? We are going to see in a first time the beneficial aspect of the internet, in a second time we are focusing on the drawback of the internet.
To illustrate the beneficial aspect of the Internet, I choose three audiovisual documents that we have seen in english lesson.
The first it is an audiovisual document that is entitled a cyber heroine. The main idea is a canadian girl who is 14 years old. Thanks to the internet, she saved the life of an english teenager who is 16 years old. The boy has tried to commit a suicide and he shares it on the internet, the girl has looked this. She calls the authority of England to save the boy and the boy has saved. Therefor the internet is great because it enables to save life.
The second document is named a good thing. It is about the advantage of the internet. To begin with, it is a tool that enables to preserve our history and making sure that in the future we never forget the past. Moreover it a power for people because it’s one of the place where we are the freedom of speech.
The last document is named KONY 2012. The main topic of this document is an american Jason Russel that defend a worthy cause : stop a rebel group to kidnapped children to turn them into child soldier for boy and into sex slaves for girl. To fight against this cause, he create an association « invisible Childrend » on internet to sensibilize people and to the governement heards themsleves and acting. In the end the gouvernement has acted but the leader of the rebel group run away and today he still to kidnappe child. So internet can give a power of citizen to be hearing by gouvernement.
But the internet has a dark side too. So for illustrate the drawback i chosen two documents.
The first it is a picture that is named The Joy of Tech. To my mind it is a good example to show the damage of the internet. Indeed, three people have been fired after posting a video or due to stupid things or message on social networks. They are victims of the Internet. So the internet can be the cause of unemployment or lost our job.
Then we have an audovisual document that is entitled the internet is a bad thing. First the video says that hackers can steal our identity, take elements of our private life or rob your money. Secondly, it is said that on the net people can buy everything as illegal products on the dark net. And finally thanks to our IP address the government or organization can know all things that we did on the internet. So the internet it one of the most dangerous weapon.
To conclude i could say that the progress can be well only in outward appearance. In reality the progress can be one of the most dangerous weapons ever created. However it stay an achievement. People must be careful when they use the internet hovewer it is a tool essential in our society.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-04-2018 18:44
Message de claire18 posté le 25-04-2018 à 17:35:20 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, je suis une élève de terminale S, j'ai préparé ma notion de progrès pour mon oral d'anglais, malheureusement je ne maîtrise pas la syntaxe anglaise.
Est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait corriger ma notion ?
Merci d'avance, c'est très gentil.
I am going to deal with the notion of progress. Progress it is ,generally, an advancement technological, social, medical or scientific in order to make a better society. According to my, the Internet progress it is the best model to illustrate this notion. So my problematic issue will be Internet progress a true achievement ? We are going to see in a first time the beneficial aspect of the internet, in a second time we are focusing on the drawback of the internet.
To illustrate the beneficial aspect of the Internet, I choose three audiovisual documents that we have seen in english lesson.
The first it is an audiovisual document that is entitled a cyber heroine. The main idea is a canadian girl who is 14 years old. Thanks to the internet, she saved the life of an english teenager who is 16 years old. The boy has tried to commit a suicide and he shares it on the internet, the girl has looked this. She calls the authority of England to save the boy and the boy has saved. Therefor the internet is great because it enables to save life.
The second document is named a good thing. It is about the advantage of the internet. To begin with, it is a tool that enables to preserve our history and making sure that in the future we never forget the past. Moreover it a power for people because it’s one of the place where we are the freedom of speech.
The last document is named KONY 2012. The main topic of this document is an american Jason Russel that defend a worthy cause : stop a rebel group to kidnapped children to turn them into child soldier for boy and into sex slaves for girl. To fight against this cause, he create an association « invisible Childrend » on internet to sensibilize people and to the governement heards themsleves and acting. In the end the gouvernement has acted but the leader of the rebel group run away and today he still to kidnappe child. So internet can give a power of citizen to be hearing by gouvernement.
But the internet has a dark side too. So for illustrate the drawback i chosen two documents.
The first it is a picture that is named The Joy of Tech. To my mind it is a good example to show the damage of the internet. Indeed, three people have been fired after posting a video or due to stupid things or message on social networks. They are victims of the Internet. So the internet can be the cause of unemployment or lost our job.
Then we have an audovisual document that is entitled the internet is a bad thing. First the video says that hackers can steal our identity, take elements of our private life or rob your money. Secondly, it is said that on the net people can buy everything as illegal products on the dark net. And finally thanks to our IP address the government or organization can know all things that we did on the internet. So the internet it one of the most dangerous weapon.
To conclude i could say that the progress can be well only in outward appearance. In reality the progress can be one of the most dangerous weapons ever created. However it stay an achievement. People must be careful when they use the internet hovewer it is a tool essential in our society.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-04-2018 18:44
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