>
Correction/Essay
Forum > English only || BottomCorrection/Essay
Message from shamyra posted on 16-02-2019 at 17:08:23 (D | E | F)
Hello !
Can you help me to correct this essay please ? Especially for the conjugation because it is very difficult for me to know what tense to choose.
It is a reply to this question:
"In your opinion, are our eating habits likely to change over the coming decades ? (180 words +/- 10%) Illustrate your answer with pertinent examples."
With the world population growth, our planet will have nine billion people within 30 years. Our needs are bigger and bigger. However, our resources are not endless. The intensive farming which harms the planet and the more and more regular and widespread famines show us that we must to change our habits.
That’s why a change of our eating habits is necessary, but it is possible over the coming decades? Scientists have shown that we eat too much meat for example and the increase of the rate of obesity especially in our western countries show that this change would be benefit not only for the earth but also for our health.
However, some people could be recalcitrant to make efforts because it can be quite easy to eat what we want in our consumer society. It is also true that eating insects, which would be one of the solutions to the increase of foods needs, may displease and you may lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. Nevertheless, the increase of people who are veggie, vegan or who chose to eat better, that is more balanced, local and organic show that our eating habits are already changing.
Thanks for your help !
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 16-02-2019 18:25
Message from shamyra posted on 16-02-2019 at 17:08:23 (D | E | F)
Hello !
Can you help me to correct this essay please ? Especially for the conjugation because it is very difficult for me to know what tense to choose.
It is a reply to this question:
"In your opinion, are our eating habits likely to change over the coming decades ? (180 words +/- 10%) Illustrate your answer with pertinent examples."
With the world population growth, our planet will have nine billion people within 30 years. Our needs are bigger and bigger. However, our resources are not endless. The intensive farming which harms the planet and the more and more regular and widespread famines show us that we must to change our habits.
That’s why a change of our eating habits is necessary, but it is possible over the coming decades? Scientists have shown that we eat too much meat for example and the increase of the rate of obesity especially in our western countries show that this change would be benefit not only for the earth but also for our health.
However, some people could be recalcitrant to make efforts because it can be quite easy to eat what we want in our consumer society. It is also true that eating insects, which would be one of the solutions to the increase of foods needs, may displease and you may lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. Nevertheless, the increase of people who are veggie, vegan or who chose to eat better, that is more balanced, local and organic show that our eating habits are already changing.
Thanks for your help !
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 16-02-2019 18:25
Re: Correction/Essay from here4u, posted on 16-02-2019 at 17:32:56 (D | E)
Hello!
With the world population growth, our planet will have nine billion people within 30 years. Our needs are bigger and bigger. However, our resources are not endless. The intensive farming which harms the planet and the more and more regular and widespread famines show us that we must to
change our habits.That’s why a change of our eating habits is necessary, but it is (interrogative form required!)possible over the coming decades? Scientists have shown that we eat too much meat for example and the increase of the rate of obesity especially in our western countries show
(nor clear what the subject is...)that this change would be benefit (you need an adjective!) not only for the earth but also for our health.However, some people could be recalcitrant to make efforts because it can be quite easy to eat what we want in our consumer society. It is also true that eating insects, which would be one of the solutions to the increase of foods needs, may displease and you may lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink
:?( not really relevant here! ). Nevertheless, the increase of people who are veggieS, veganS or who chose to eat better, that is more balanced, local and organic XXXX show (subject?) that our eating habits are already changing. Re: Correction/Essay from shamyra, posted on 17-02-2019 at 00:10:57 (D | E)
Thank you very much here4u !
I try to correct my mistakes... is it better now ?
With the world population growth, our planet will have nine billion people within 30 years. Our needs are bigger and bigger. However, our resources are not endless. The intensive farming which harms the planet and the more and more regular and widespread famines show us that we must change our habits.
That’s why a change of our eating habits is necessary, but is it possible over the coming decades? In our western countries especially, scientists have shown that we eat too much meat for example and the increase of the rate of obesity show that this change would be beneficial not only for the earth but also for our health.
However, some people could be recalcitrant to make efforts because it can be quite easy to eat what we want in our consumer society. It is also true that eating insects, which would be one of the solutions to the increase of food needs, may displease. That's why this change will be long and difficult. Nevertheless, the increase of people, who are veggies, vegans or who chose to eat better, that is who have more balanced, local and organic diet, show us our eating habits are already changing.
Re: Correction/Essay from bluestar, posted on 17-02-2019 at 11:55:05 (D | E)
bonjour...
recalcitrant --- pas le mot juste..."reluctant" conviendra mieux..
Re: Correction/Essay from shamyra, posted on 17-02-2019 at 20:17:49 (D | E)
Thank you !
Forum > English only
