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Texte/Juliette is sick
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Message de emma22 posté le 08-04-2019 à 15:38:03 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Etant en licence de Langues Etrangères Appliquées je m'entraîne à écrire des textes en anglais afin d'améliorer ma maîtrise de cette langue. Je me demandais si c'était possible d'avoir un avis sur ce texte au niveau de la syntaxe et de la tournure de mes phrases et une éventuelle correction.
Merci d'avance.
Cordialement.
Emma
Topic 5 : Juliette is sick
Juliette is sick.
This morning Juliette doesn't feel good.
Her mother touches her forehead and says : « You are warm my little girl, I will take your temperature ».
39 (thirty-nine). Her mother is perplexed.
She gives a lukewarm bath to Juliette who is protesting : « It is too cold, I hate that ! »
Her mother calls a doctor who arrives very quickly.
The doctor looks her nose, her ears, her throat and listen to the chest of Juliette ---- listen to Juliette's chest.
« Cough a little bit, please, more. Do you have a headache ? »
« A simple cold, informs the doctor, nothing serious. She needs aspirin and few days off. Goodbye Juliette, you will heal – cure soon. »
Juliette's mother reads a story, a second and a third to Juliette. She is very nice.
After all it is rather great to be a little bit sick.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 08-04-2019 22:52
Message de emma22 posté le 08-04-2019 à 15:38:03 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Etant en licence de Langues Etrangères Appliquées je m'entraîne à écrire des textes en anglais afin d'améliorer ma maîtrise de cette langue. Je me demandais si c'était possible d'avoir un avis sur ce texte au niveau de la syntaxe et de la tournure de mes phrases et une éventuelle correction.
Merci d'avance.
Cordialement.
Emma
Topic 5 : Juliette is sick
Juliette is sick.
This morning Juliette doesn't feel good.
Her mother touches her forehead and says : « You are warm my little girl, I will take your temperature ».
39 (thirty-nine). Her mother is perplexed.
She gives a lukewarm bath to Juliette who is protesting : « It is too cold, I hate that ! »
Her mother calls a doctor who arrives very quickly.
The doctor looks her nose, her ears, her throat and listen to the chest of Juliette ---- listen to Juliette's chest.
« Cough a little bit, please, more. Do you have a headache ? »
« A simple cold, informs the doctor, nothing serious. She needs aspirin and few days off. Goodbye Juliette, you will heal – cure soon. »
Juliette's mother reads a story, a second and a third to Juliette. She is very nice.
After all it is rather great to be a little bit sick.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 08-04-2019 22:52
Réponse : Texte/Juliette is sick de gerondif, postée le 08-04-2019 à 16:04:16 (S | E)
Bonjour
Le présent de narration style anecdote, est moins utilisé en anglais qu'en français.
Topic 5 : Juliette is sick
Juliette is sick.
This morning Juliette doesn't feel good.
Her mother touches her forehead and says : « You are warm (hot) my little girl, I will take your temperature ».
39 (thirty-nine degrees). Her mother is perplexed.
She gives a lukewarm bath to Juliette who is protesting : « It is too cold, I hate that ! »
Her mother calls a doctor who arrives very quickly.
The doctor looks at (examines serait adéquat pour un médecin) her nose, her ears, her throat and listens to the chest of(bof!!) Juliette ---- listen to Juliette's chest.
« Cough a little bit, please, more. Do you have a headache ? »
« A simple cold, informs the doctor,(pas d'inversion) nothing serious. She needs aspirin and few days off. Goodbye Juliette, you will heal –
Juliette's mother reads Juliette a story, the a second one and a third one. She is very nice to her.
After all it is rather great to be a little bit sick.
Réponse : Texte/Juliette is sick de emma22, postée le 08-04-2019 à 16:24:56 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Je vous remercie pour les explications et les modifications apportées.
Le présent de naration étant moins utilisé en anglais est-il mieux d'ulitisé le passé ?
Voici le texte modifié
Cordialement
Emma
Topic 5 : Juliette is sick
Juliette is sick.
This morning Juliette doesn't feel good.
Her mother touches her forehead and says : « You are hot my little girl, I will take your temperature ».
39 (thirty-nine degrees). Her mother is perplexed.
She gives a lukewarm bath to Juliette who is protesting : « It is too cold, I hate that ! »
Her mother calls a doctor who arrives very quickly.
The doctor examines her nose, her ears, her throat and listen to Juliette's chest.
« Cough a little bit, please, more. Do you have a headache ? »
« A simple cold, nothing serious, informs the doctor. She needs aspirin and few days off. Goodbye Juliette, you will heal soon. »
Juliette's mother reads Juliette a story, then a second one and a third one. She is very nice to her.
After all it is rather great to be a little bit sick.
Réponse : Texte/Juliette is sick de gerondif, postée le 08-04-2019 à 17:27:40 (S | E)
Bonjour
Juliette is sick.
This morning Juliette doesn't feel good.
Her mother touches her forehead and says : « You are hot my little girl, I will take your temperature ».
39 (thirty-nine degrees). Her mother is perplexed.
She gives a lukewarm bath to Juliette (ou She gives Juliette a bath) who is protesting : « It is too cold, I hate that ! »
Her mother calls a doctor who arrives very quickly.
The doctor examines her nose, her ears, her throat and listenS (le s du présent!!) to Juliette's chest.
« Cough a little bit, please, more. Do you have a headache ? »
« A simple cold, nothing serious, informs the doctor(PAS D'INVERSION en indication scénique : "Goodbye !", she said). She needs aspirin and a few days off. Goodbye Juliette, you will heal (get better) soon. »
Juliette's mother reads Juliette a story, then a second one and a third one. She is very nice to her.
After all it is rather great to be a little bit sick.
Réponse : Texte/Juliette is sick de emma22, postée le 08-04-2019 à 17:49:26 (S | E)
Rebonjour,
Je n'avais pas bien compris l'inversion du sujet et du verbe. Est-ce correct ?
« A simple cold, nothing serious. She needs aspirin and a few days off.", the doctor informed. "Goodbye Juliette, you will get better soon. »
Réponse : Texte/Juliette is sick de gerondif, postée le 08-04-2019 à 17:59:15 (S | E)
comme informed est normalement suivi d'un COD, the doctor said /the doctor told her/ the doctor informed her.
Réponse : Texte/Juliette is sick de emma22, postée le 08-04-2019 à 21:19:29 (S | E)
D'accord, je vais modifier mon texte.
Je vous remercie pour votre aide et ces explications.
Cordialement
Emma
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