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Help/master's degree
Forum > English only || BottomHelp/master's degree
Message from aror posted on 14-01-2022 at 04:30:28 (D | E | F)
Hello,
I would like some feedback in terms of grammar, spelling and conjugation.
Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Your help is very valuable to me for my further studies.
I always wanted to come and study in Australia. I am very interested in the Australian teaching method. For example, many modules require group projects and discussions. Programs are composed of practice-oriented classes and interactive classrooms that match companies’ requirements. Furthermore, I would have the opportunity to evolve in an international environment and to work within multicultural teams. I will therefore be able to improve my skills in terms of critical thinking, problem solving and oral skills that will be necessary to stand out.
Studying in Australia will help me with my professional project since I would like to work in the country. There are many challenging and interesting professional opportunities in multicultural environments. I will be able to work with countries in the Asia-Pacific region that I’m particularly interested in while benefiting from the Australian way of life. I am attached to the workplace culture in Australia. I am aspiring to work hard and efficiently while being flexible and able to express my opinions.
When I thought about the university where I wanted to do my master's degree, Griffith University was an obvious choice. I could interact and study with people from all over the world and especially from Asia. The university is a pioneer in teaching Asian business. The master on which I have a great interest in is the Master of international business. It offers courses like “Democratization Business and Governance in Asia or Trade” and “Strategy and Risk in Asia” in accordance with my professional project. Indeed, in the future I would like to work in a multinational company in an emerging market as an international business analyst, tackling strategic issues. I also see myself traveling to different countries throughout my life. My ultimate goal would be to work for companies in the fashion or cosmetics sector and to be a specialist of the Asian- Pacific region.
Moreover, the Griffith Asia Business Internships is a great opportunity. Living and working in an international workplace in Asian countries within partner companies is a major advantage. Moreover, I am interested in many clubs and societies that can help me build a solid network, meet people, and develop my knowledge of business and/or other cultures.
I am also a very ambitious person with a great appetite for learning. I went to Higher School Preparatory classes (extremely selective courses). It helped me to improve my writing skills and to study in an efficient and synthetic way. Thanks to this experience that taught me productivity and quality of work, I would be able to use my skills and motivation efficiently. Furthermore, when I was working part time at Monoprix, I accepted to take over my superior’s task for the whole summer. I found myself in charge of the department in a very short time. I was able to develop my interpersonal skills by listening to employees' difficulties and making organizational decisions. I love challenges. I always try to do my best in everything I undertake and try to learn from the hardships I might encounter.
After listening to many testimonies, I realized that Griffith University matches my ambitions. It is a complete set that combines quality of the teaching, student life and a powerful alumni network and partner companies. Indeed, the university is from a top-ranked university and has an international reputation. It provides great internship placement both in Australia and worldwide. The student body is composed of world class experts. Griffith Nathan Campus also offers many attractive opportunities such as natural and relaxed settings, nice study places and library with great consulting services. For many former graduates, the university was a real turning point in their careers.
Through my internship in marketing, I decided that I wanted to follow a career driven by ethical and sustainable ideals. Indeed, I worked in a company that values both environmental issues as well as the quality of life of the employees. I was able to discuss with customers, and I became aware that many of them support such principles.
I share the same values as Griffith University. I am extremely interested in taking courses such as “Leadership for Sustainable Business" and “Globalisation and Corporate Social Responsibility” to improve my overall understanding and to be able to support innovative and promising projects in the future. I was also impressed by the research paper entitled "The Blue Economy and the United Nations’ sustainable development goals: Challenges and opportunities" written by Professor Ki-Hoon Lee, Junsung Noh and Jong Seong Kim which echoes my own interests and reflections. In the future, I would like to develop my own research on a more sustainable fashion business model.
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Edited by lucile83 on 14-01-2022 08:49
grey
Message from aror posted on 14-01-2022 at 04:30:28 (D | E | F)
Hello,
I would like some feedback in terms of grammar, spelling and conjugation.
Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Your help is very valuable to me for my further studies.
I always wanted to come and study in Australia. I am very interested in the Australian teaching method. For example, many modules require group projects and discussions. Programs are composed of practice-oriented classes and interactive classrooms that match companies’ requirements. Furthermore, I would have the opportunity to evolve in an international environment and to work within multicultural teams. I will therefore be able to improve my skills in terms of critical thinking, problem solving and oral skills that will be necessary to stand out.
Studying in Australia will help me with my professional project since I would like to work in the country. There are many challenging and interesting professional opportunities in multicultural environments. I will be able to work with countries in the Asia-Pacific region that I’m particularly interested in while benefiting from the Australian way of life. I am attached to the workplace culture in Australia. I am aspiring to work hard and efficiently while being flexible and able to express my opinions.
When I thought about the university where I wanted to do my master's degree, Griffith University was an obvious choice. I could interact and study with people from all over the world and especially from Asia. The university is a pioneer in teaching Asian business. The master on which I have a great interest in is the Master of international business. It offers courses like “Democratization Business and Governance in Asia or Trade” and “Strategy and Risk in Asia” in accordance with my professional project. Indeed, in the future I would like to work in a multinational company in an emerging market as an international business analyst, tackling strategic issues. I also see myself traveling to different countries throughout my life. My ultimate goal would be to work for companies in the fashion or cosmetics sector and to be a specialist of the Asian- Pacific region.
Moreover, the Griffith Asia Business Internships is a great opportunity. Living and working in an international workplace in Asian countries within partner companies is a major advantage. Moreover, I am interested in many clubs and societies that can help me build a solid network, meet people, and develop my knowledge of business and/or other cultures.
I am also a very ambitious person with a great appetite for learning. I went to Higher School Preparatory classes (extremely selective courses). It helped me to improve my writing skills and to study in an efficient and synthetic way. Thanks to this experience that taught me productivity and quality of work, I would be able to use my skills and motivation efficiently. Furthermore, when I was working part time at Monoprix, I accepted to take over my superior’s task for the whole summer. I found myself in charge of the department in a very short time. I was able to develop my interpersonal skills by listening to employees' difficulties and making organizational decisions. I love challenges. I always try to do my best in everything I undertake and try to learn from the hardships I might encounter.
After listening to many testimonies, I realized that Griffith University matches my ambitions. It is a complete set that combines quality of the teaching, student life and a powerful alumni network and partner companies. Indeed, the university is from a top-ranked university and has an international reputation. It provides great internship placement both in Australia and worldwide. The student body is composed of world class experts. Griffith Nathan Campus also offers many attractive opportunities such as natural and relaxed settings, nice study places and library with great consulting services. For many former graduates, the university was a real turning point in their careers.
Through my internship in marketing, I decided that I wanted to follow a career driven by ethical and sustainable ideals. Indeed, I worked in a company that values both environmental issues as well as the quality of life of the employees. I was able to discuss with customers, and I became aware that many of them support such principles.
I share the same values as Griffith University. I am extremely interested in taking courses such as “Leadership for Sustainable Business" and “Globalisation and Corporate Social Responsibility” to improve my overall understanding and to be able to support innovative and promising projects in the future. I was also impressed by the research paper entitled "The Blue Economy and the United Nations’ sustainable development goals: Challenges and opportunities" written by Professor Ki-Hoon Lee, Junsung Noh and Jong Seong Kim which echoes my own interests and reflections. In the future, I would like to develop my own research on a more sustainable fashion business model.
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Edited by lucile83 on 14-01-2022 08:49
grey
Re: Help/master's degree from gerondif, posted on 18-01-2022 at 12:34:37 (D | E)
Hello
Mistakes in blue.
I always wanted (I would use the present perfect) to come and study in Australia. I am very interested in the Australian teaching method. For example, many modules require group projects and discussions. Programs are composed of practice-oriented classes and interactive classrooms that match companies’ requirements. Furthermore, I would have the opportunity to evolve in an international environment and to work within multicultural teams. I will(logically, I would use a conditional tense) therefore be able to improve my skills in terms of critical thinking, problem solving and oral skills that will be necessary to stand out.
Studying in Australia will help me with my professional project since I would like to work in the/that country (in the country could be understood as meaning the opposite of "in town"). There are many challenging and interesting professional opportunities in multicultural environments. I will (conditional) be able to work with countries in the Asia-Pacific region that I’m particularly interested in while benefiting from the Australian way of life. I am attached to the workplace culture in Australia. I am aspiring to work hard and efficiently while being flexible and able to express my opinions.
When I thought about the university where I wanted to do my master's degree, Griffith University was an obvious choice. I could(could be misinterpreted as a preterit, I would use : I would be able to) interact and study with people from all over the world and especially from Asia. The university is a pioneer in teaching Asian business. The master on which I have a great interest in is the Master of international business. It offers courses like “Democratization Business and Governance in Asia or Trade” and “Strategy and Risk in Asia” in accordance with my professional project. Indeed, in the future, I would like to work in a multinational company in an emerging market as an international business analyst, tackling strategic issues. I also see myself traveling to different countries throughout my life. My ultimate goal would be to work for companies in the fashion or cosmetics sector and to be a specialist of the Asian-Pacific region.
Moreover, the Griffith Asia Business Internships is a great opportunity. Living and working in an international workplace in Asian countries within (I would have used with or in) partner companies is a major advantage. Moreover, I am interested in many clubs and societies that can help me build a solid network, meet people, and develop my knowledge of business and/or other cultures.
I am also a very ambitious person with a great appetite for learning. I went to Higher School Preparatory classes (extremely selective courses). It helped me (to)improve my writing skills and to study in an efficient and synthetic way. Thanks to this experience that taught me productivity and quality of work, I would be able (I would have used a preterite here, it is a part of your past, of your experience) to use my skills and motivation efficiently. Furthermore, when I was working part time at Monoprix, I accepted to take over my superior’s task (job/responsibilities) for the whole summer. I found myself in charge of the department in a very short time ( at very short notice). I was able to develop my interpersonal skills by listening to employees' difficulties and making organizational decisions. I love challenges. I always try to do my best in everything I undertake and try to learn from the hardships I might encounter.
After listening to many testimonies, I realized that Griffith University matches (preterit) my ambitions. It is a complete set that combines quality of
Through my internship in marketing, I decided that I wanted to follow a career driven by ethical and sustainable ideals. Indeed, I worked in a company that values both environmental issues as well as the quality of life of the (its) employees. I was able to discuss with customers, and I became aware that many of them support such principles.
I share the same values as Griffith University. I am extremely interested in taking courses such as “Leadership for Sustainable Business" and “Globalisation and Corporate Social Responsibility” to improve my overall understanding and to be able to support innovative and promising projects in the future. I was also impressed by the research paper entitled "The Blue Economy and the United Nations’ sustainable development goals: Challenges and opportunities" written by Professor Ki-Hoon Lee, Junsung Noh and Jong Seong Kim which echoes my own interests and reflections. In the future, I would like to develop my own research on a more sustainable fashion business model.
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