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Let's Suggest/41
Cours gratuits > Forum > Exercices du forum || En basMessage de here4u posté le 01-07-2023 à 14:20:43 (S | E | F)
Hello, dear writers!
Another new topic for you to write about.
I hope many will participate enthusiastically, and that you'll do it as well as ever...You mustn't be afraid of making mistakes... We LOVE mistakes, because they give us an opportunity to explain and correct!
Here is today's topic:"What frightens you most?" 140 to 160 words.
Voici le rappel des modalités de la première partie de l'exercice :
1. Je vous demande une EXPRESSION sur le sujet proposé à m’envoyer en mp dès que possible …
2. Le plus tôt possible, cette première expression sera publiée sur le Forum, et CHACUN sera libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les erreurs EN BLEU, et en soulignant ce qui vous semble maladroit et que vous voudriez changer, sans donner la « correction » (forme correcte), à ce moment là, comme il se doit.) Si un autre membre a déjà indiqué des erreurs en bleu, VOUS DEVEZ repartir de cette correction et la confirmer ou la corriger... Un seul essai à la fois sera publié pour corriger… Vous pourrez ensuite donner vos suggestions de correction (en vert!)
IMPORTANT ! Pour me faciliter le transfert des corrections successives de vos travaux sur le site, pourriez vous m'indiquer par un "(" le mot ou segment de phrase qui devrai(en)t être modifié(s), s'il vous plaît ?ie. (I'm repeating for years... ou (was not only to want something,... Pourquoi ? Simplement parce que le site ne "garde" pas les indications de couleurs ou de soulignement etc. dès que l'on copie... Donc, je prends vos travaux, je les corrige au fur et à mesure avec les codes "bleu" ou "souligné" ou "vert", mais au moment où je vous poste la correction, je perds tout mon travail...
et dois tout refaire mot à mot en direct avec deux fenêtres ou même deux écrans pour un travail fastidieux de copie point par point! Merci de votre aide ! 
Les modalités complètes sont accessibles sur le lien suivant :
Lien internet
( Je vous les rappellerai au fur et à mesure de la progression du travail )
Cet exercice sera ... ce que vous en ferez :
ou ou **Do your best, I trust You!
Correction en ligne le vendredi 14 juillet 2023.
J'attends vos envois en mp et publierai le premier dès que possible.
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU and with us!
Réponse : Let's Suggest/41 de here4u, postée le 02-07-2023 à 14:26:05 (S | E)
Hello, dears!
No everybody is having a rest!
Here is our first EXPRESSION! EXPRESSION N°1: please, indicate possible mistakes in blue, and underline what looks clumsy to you...
What frightens you most?
I'm not afraid of spiders or snakes, but what really give me a big dread, this is the idea being buried alive
Just to have an MRI scan, I have to take an anti-anxiety drug the day before.
Even though, this machine is bright and open, but it is so cramped, I feel like, I am in a coffin.
It's also hard for me to stay cooped up in a small, narrow room with no windows.
Little by little, I'm overcoming this claustrophobia because it's in my head that it happens. To do that, I've even done some speleology: that made me proud to get to the end of the course, but I wouldn't do it again.
Despite everything, I now manage to get into a lift without too much anxiety, but it shouldn't stop between 2 floors. 143 MOTS
Réponse : Let's Suggest/41 de here4u, postée le 05-07-2023 à 11:47:08 (S | E)
Hello, dears!
EXPRESSION N°1: here are my indications...
What frightens you most?
I'm not afraid of spiders or snakes, but what really give me a big dread, this is the idea XX being buried alive. (Brrrr)
Just to have an MRI scan, I have to take an anti-anxiety drug/ anxiolytic the day before.
Even though, this machine is bright and open, but it is so cramped, I feel like, *I am in a coffin.
It's also hard for me to stay cooped up in a small, narrow room with no windows.
Little by little, I'm overcoming this claustrophobia because it's in my head that it happens. To do that, I've even done some speleology: that made me proud to get to the end of the course, but I wouldn't do it again.
Despite everything, I now manage to get into a lift without too much anxiety, but it shouldn't** stop between 2 floors. 143 MOTS
* feel like + verbe: américanisme qui me fait souffrir !
** Ce n'est pas le bon modal.
Green allowed
Réponse : Let's Suggest/41 de magie8, postée le 06-07-2023 à 08:03:29 (S | E)
Essai de correction suggest151 texte1 sur les indications de here4u
HELLO BONJOUR
What frightens you most?
I'm not afraid of spiders or snakes, ( However what really fills me with dread, this is the idea ( That I could be ) buried alive. (Brrrr)
Just to have an MRI scan, I have to take an anti-anxiety drug/ anxiolytic the day before.
Even though, this machine is bright and open, (still being so cramped, I feel, ( as if I am in a coffin.
It's also hard for me to stay cooped up in a small, narrow room with no windows.
Little by little, I'm overcoming this claustrophobia because it ( is psychological. To do that, I've even done some speleology: that made me proud to get to the end of the (route, but I wouldn't do it again.
Despite everything, I now manage to get into a lift without too much anxiety, but it ( wouldn't** stop between 2 floors. 143 MOTS
Comme les amateurs ne se bousculent pas, pourquoi attendre pour mettre en vert? Sinon je vais travailler sur autre chose et oublier de revenir sur ce texte
Merci à Here4u pour son aide
Les correcteurs volontaires pour améliorer ce texte sont les bienvenus
Réponse : Let's Suggest/41 de here4u, postée le 06-07-2023 à 22:52:58 (S | E)
Hello dears,
C'est l'espérance que des amateurs vont se présenter qui me fait attendre pour mettre en vert ! Certains vont peut-être rentrer de vacances... De plus, chère Magie la courageuse, je me dois de respecter les règles que j'ai moi-même énoncées...
EXPRESSION N°2: please, indicate possible mistakes in blue, and underline what looks clumsy to you...
I can admit that I am terrified by many things. I am frightened of the spiders (even the small one), the serpents, and many animals than I will never meet... I'm afraid of the darkness and of bats. In fact I am a scaredy cat really!
My bigger fear is being obliged to speak in front of many people. I know that the people look me , look and judge my physical, and my clothes. I'm afraid of doing mistakes and being judged by people who laughs of me. I am sure than if I speak even about a subject that I know very well and love, I am not able to speak and stammer, perhaps, I will even begin to cry and that will be terrible. I don't want to try that. 136 words
de votre aide ! Réponse : Let's Suggest/41 de magie8, postée le 07-07-2023 à 01:33:46 (S | E)
hello , je fais ce que je peux mais j 'ai du mal, cela occupe une grande partie de mon temps
EXPRESSION N°2: please, indicate possible mistakes in blue, and underline what looks clumsy to you...
I can admit that I am terrified by many things. I am frightened of (the spiders even the small one), (the serpents, and many animals ( than I will never meet... I'm afraid of the darkness and of bats. In fact I am a scaredy cat really!
My bigger fear( is being obliged to speak (in front of many people. I know that the people look ((xx me , look and judge my physical, and my clothes. I'm afraid of ( doing mistakes and being judged by people who (laughs of me. I am sure (than if I speak even about a subject that I know very well and love, I
( am not able to speak( and stammer, perhaps, I(will even begin to cry and that ( will be terrible. I don't want to try that.
Réponse : Let's Suggest/41 de magie8, postée le 09-07-2023 à 12:09:09 (S | E)
hello je pense avoir respecté le délai cette fois voici mes suggestions
texte2
I can admit that I am terrified by many things. I am frightened of () spiders even the small one), () serpents, and many animals ( that I will never meet... I'm afraid of the darkness and of bats. In fact I am a scaredy cat really!
My ( biggest fear( is having to speak (in public. I (imagine people looking ((at me , () and (judging my physical, and my clothes. I( would be afraid of (making mistakes and being judged by people who ( would laugh of me. I am sure (that if I spoke even about a subject that I know very well and love, I( would not able to speak( I could stammer, perhaps, I(would even begin to cry and that ( would be terrible. I don't want to try that.
j' ai pensé qu' il fallait mettre au conditionnel, car la personne est obligée ou le sera ( je ne sais pas ) de toute façons elle apprehende et ne veut pas essayer donc c'est ce qui pourrait ???
-spiders et bats= en general (enlevé les articles, gardé l' article pour le = specifique: the small )
-that = demonstratif than= comparatif
-looking at = phrasal j' ai pensé que 2 fois look etait superflu mais on peut le garder peut- être si on veut insister .
-to make a mistake ( sens créer fabriquer = pas to do ( pas toujours évident)
- j ai trouvé un peu lourd mais pas faux : to speak in front many people remplacé par to speak in public ( parler devant un auditoire ) on peut dire aussi speak publicly
the biggest = superlatif ( le plus gros de tous) bigger= comparaison plus gros que... un autre ( pas toujours evident non plus)
Réponse : Let's Suggest/41 de here4u, postée le 09-07-2023 à 16:06:14 (S | E)
Hello, dears
Hello Dear Magie,
hello je pense avoir respecté le délai cette fois voici mes suggestions Oui, c'est BIEN, Magie! Je suis juste un peu "en retard"! J'ai lu ton texte avec soin hier soir, mais ai été interrompue !
texte2 magie's suggestions
I can admit that I am terrified by many things. I am frightened of/ by () spiders even the small one (n'y en a-t-il qu'une qui ferait peur?)), () serpents, and many animals ( that I will never meet... I'm afraid of the(oui, facultatif, en fonction des intentions de l'auteur) darkness and of bats. In fact I am a scaredy-cat really!
My ( biggest fear( is having to speak (in public. I imagine people looking at me , () and (judging my physical, and my clothes. I would be afraid of making mistakes and being judged by people who would laugh of
me. I am sure that if I spoke even about a subject that I know very well and love, I would not able to speak, I could/ might/ would stammer, perhaps, I would even begin to cry and that would be terrible. I don't want to try that. Excellentes suggestions ! j'ai pensé qu' il fallait mettre au conditionnel, car la personne est obligée ou le sera ( je ne sais pas ) [ dans le cas évoqué, la personne le "serait"...] de toutes façons elle appréhende et ne veut pas essayer donc c'est ce qui pourrait ??? Oui.
-spiders et bats= en général ( ai enlevé les articles, gardé l'article pour le = spécifique: the small )Pour moi, il faudrait au contraire généraliser... Même les grosses araignées font peur. Un pluriel s’impose.
-that = démonstratif than= comparatif B
-looking at = phrasal. j'ai pensé que 2 fois look était superflu mais on peut le garder peut-être si on veut insister .
-to make a mistake ( sens "créer fabriquer" = pas to do ( pas toujours évident)OUI. TB. Très important.
- j ai trouvé un peu lourd mais pas faux : to speak in front many people remplacé par to speak in public ( parler devant un auditoire ) on peut dire aussi speak publicly. OK
the biggest = superlatif ( le plus gros de tous) bigger= comparaison plus gros que... un autre ( pas toujours evident non plus) TTB C'est vrai. C'est un point apparemment délicat.
TB, Magie!
Une très bonne correction ! 
Réponse : Let's Suggest/41 de here4u, postée le 10-07-2023 à 14:08:46 (S | E)
Hello dears,
EXPRESSION N°3: please, indicate possible mistakes in blue, and underline what looks clumsy to you...
My problem is fear of heights, or fear of emptiness... Of course I'm afraid of the spiders and serpents, of the lions too, but there isn't much in our country. My dream is jumping with a parachute of a plane. My family has offered me a jump at my birthday in April, but I am such coward that I am finding all sort of excuse... I say I am too heavy, too big to jump with a duo, and I must loose a weight, many weight... before to jump! But loosing a weight is very long, and I don't know when I will can jump. Never, I think! It is little ridicule because I really want to jump, but I'm such frightened. Perhaps you give me an idea to exceed my fear... I hope that. 141 words
for your help! Réponse : Let's Suggest/41 de magie8, postée le 12-07-2023 à 03:42:02 (S | E)
Hello
texte3
My problem is xx fear of heights, or fear of emptiness... Of course I'm afraid of the spiders and serpents, of the lions too, but there (isn't much in our country. My dream is jumping with a parachute (of a plane. My family ( ( has offered me a jump at my birthday in April, but I am such coward that I am finding all sort of ( excuse... I say I am too heavy, too big to jump with a duo, and I must loose ( a weight, many weight... before (to jump! But loosing ( a weight is very long, and I don't know when I will can jump. Never, I think! It is little ridicule because I really want to jump, but I'm such frightened. Perhaps you give me an idea to exceed my fear... I hope that. 141 words
Je n ai pas trouvé de véritables grosses fautes.Pour moi, c' est un tres bon texte
par contre en ce qui concerne le saut en parachute , c est très éprouvant pour le coeur et les oreilles, il faut une bonne forme physique, le parapente est plus facile. Ce que je peux vous dire c' est que le vertige disparait dés que l' on quitte le sol, vous vous sentez léger à voler avec les oiseaux . Passez quand même une visite médicale avant de vous lancer et faites des excercices physiques car il faut être souple pour atterrir sans heurt. Mais c' est une expérience inoubliable. c'est la bonne saison en ce moment.
Réponse : Let's Suggest/41 de here4u, postée le 14-07-2023 à 09:42:57 (S | E)
Hello dears,
EXPRESSION N°3:
My problem is xx fear of heights, or xxx fear of emptiness... Of course I'm afraid of
Je n ai pas trouvé de véritables grosses fautes. Si si, Magie, il y en a ! Pour moi, c' est un tres bon texte
par contre en ce qui concerne le saut en parachute , c est très éprouvant pour le coeur et les oreilles, il faut une bonne forme physique, le parapente est plus facile. Ce que je peux vous dire c' est que le vertige disparait dés que l' on quitte le sol, vous vous sentez léger à voler avec les oiseaux . Passez quand même une visite médicale avant de vous lancer et faites des excercices physiques car il faut être souple pour atterrir sans heurt. Mais c' est une expérience inoubliable. c'est la bonne saison en ce moment.
Merci, Magie, d'avoir partagé tes impressions !
GREEN ALLOWED.
Réponse : Let's Suggest/41 de here4u, postée le 14-07-2023 à 23:32:44 (S | E)
Hello,
Voici les corrections (un peu non-conventionnelles... ) des EXPRESSIONS que vous m'avez proposées. Dans la N°3, il reste pas
mal d'erreurs que j'ai signalées et voudrais bien voir corrigées ! S'il vous plaîîîîît...
EXPRESSION N°1: suggestions Magie:
What frightens you most?
I'm not afraid of spiders or snakes, however what really fills me with dread (this(1) is the
idea that I could/ might be buried alive. (Brrrr)
(Là, je crois que tu devrais rendre le passage de « burried alive à l’IRM moins abrupt !)Un petit mot de transition ?
Just to have an MRI scan, I have to take an anti-anxiety drug/ anxiolytic the day before.
Even though, this machine is bright (lit ?) and open, still being so cramped, I feel,
as if I am/ were(2)in a coffin.
It's also hard for me to stay cooped up in a small, narrow room with no windows.
Little by little, I'm overcoming this claustrophobia because it is psychological. To do that, I've even done some speleology: that made me proud to get to the end of the (route, but I wouldn't/ won't (indiquerait mieux la volonté!) do it
again. Despite everything, I now manage to get into a lift without too much anxiety, but it (wouldn't(modal?)(3) stop between 2 floors. 143 MOTS
De bonnes suggestions!
(1) La répétition d’un sujet dans la même phrase est un gallicisme (propre à la langue française) qu’il ne faut pas vouloir transposer à d’autres langues.
(2) As if I were : indique mieux l’irréel de la situation
(3) «it wouldn’t stop»: Il n’arrêterait pas ??? Ce n’est clairement pas le bon modal … J’aurais envie d’un clin d’œil qui te mettrait « en complicité » avec l’ascenseur… (du genre : 'il ferait mieux de' … 'il n’a pas intérêt à' … ) J’ai ressenti ceci dans ton «would» … J’espère ne pas m’être trompée et t'avoir trahie !
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
EXPRESSION N°2: indications
I can admit that I am terrified by many things. I am frightened of (the spiders even the small one), (the serpents, and many animals (than I will never meet... I'm afraid of the darkness and of bats. In fact I am a scaredy-cat really!
My bigger fear (is being obliged to speak (in front of many people. I know that the people look ((xx me , (+ temps ?) look and judge my physical, and my clothes. I'm afraid of (doing mistakes and being judged by people who (laughs of me. I am sure (than if I speak even about a subject that I know very well and love, I (am not able to speak (and xxxxx stammer, perhaps, I(will even begin to cry and that (will be terrible.(Tu es dans l'irréel!) I don't want to try that.
EXPRESSION N°2: Magie’s suggestions N°1
I can admit that I am terrified by many things. I am frightened of()spiders even the small one), ()serpents, and many animals (that I will never meet... I'm afraid of the darkness and of bats. In fact I am a scaredy-cat really!
My (biggest fear (is having to speak (in public. I (imagine people looking ((at me, ()and (judging my physical, and my clothes. I (would be afraid of(making mistakes and being judged by people who (would laugh of me. I am sure (that if I spoke even about a subject that I know very well and love, I (would not able to speak I could stammer, perhaps, I(would even begin to cry and that (would be terrible. I don't want to try that.
EXPRESSION N°2: magie's suggestions N°2.
I can admit that I am terrified by many things. I am frightened of/ by()spiders even the small one (n'y en a-t-il qu'une qui ferait peur?), () serpents, and many animals (that I will never meet... I'm afraid of the(oui, mais facultatif, en fonction des intentions de l'auteur : ici, je pense que l’on s’en passerait ! ) darkness and of bats. In fact I am a scaredy-cat really!
My (biggest fear( is having to speak (in public. I imagine people looking at me , () and (judging my physical, and my clothes. I would be afraid of making mistakes and being judged by people who would laugh of me. I am sure that if I spoke even about a subject that I know very well and love, I would not xx able to speak, I could/ might/ would stammer, perhaps, I would even begin to cry and that would be terrible. I don't want to try that.
Excellentes suggestions !
Magie's explanations:
- j'ai pensé qu' il fallait mettre au conditionnel, car la personne est obligée ou le sera ( je ne sais pas ) [ dans le cas évoqué, la personne le 'serait'...] de toutes façons elle appréhende et ne veut pas essayer donc c'est ce qui pourrait ??? Oui.
- spiders et bats= en général ( ai enlevé les articles, gardé l'article pour le = spécifique: the small )Pour moi, il faudrait au contraire généraliser... Même les grosses araignées font peur. Un pluriel s’impose.
- that= démonstratif ; than= comparatif B
- looking at= phrasal. j'ai pensé que 2 fois 'look' était superflu mais on peut le garder peut-être si on veut insister .
- to make a mistake (sens 'créer fabriquer' = pas to do ( pas toujours évident)OUI. TB. Très important.
- j ai trouvé un peu lourd mais pas faux : to speak in front XX many people remplacé par to speak in public ( parler devant un auditoire) on peut dire aussi 'speak publicly'. OK
- the biggest= superlatif ( le plus gros de tous) bigger= comparaison plus gros que... un autre ( pas toujours evident non plus)
TTB C'est vrai. C'est un point apparemment délicat.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
EXPRESSION N°3 : preliminary indications
My problem is xxx fear of heights, or xxx fear of emptiness... Of course I'm afraid of (the spiders and serpents, of (the lions too, but there (isn't much in our country. My dream is (jumping with a parachute (of a plane. My family (has offered me a jump (at my birthday in April, but I am (such coward that I am finding all sort of (excuse... I say I am too heavy, too big to jump (with a duo, and I must loose ( a weight, many weight... before (to jump! But loosing ( a weight is very long, and I don't know when (I will can jump
. Never, I think! It is little (ridicule because I really want to jump, but I'm (such frightened. Perhaps (you give me an idea to (exceed my fear... I hope (that. 141 words
EXPRESSION N°3 : indications
My problem is xx fear of heights, or xxx fear of emptiness... Of course I'm afraid of the spiders and serpents, of the lions too, but there (isn't much in our country. My dream is jumping with a parachute (of a plane. My family (has offered me a jump at my birthday in April, but I am such coward that I am finding all sort of ( excuse... I say I am too heavy, too big to jump (with a duo, and I must loose a weight, many weight... before (to jump! But loosing a weight is very long, and I don't know when I will can jump. Never, I think! It is little ridicule because I really want to jump, but I'm such frightened. Perhaps (you give me an idea to exceed my fear... I hope that. 141 words
- beaucoup de fautes demeurent. Je ne peux pas valider cet écrit...
- bien réfléchir si un nom doit avoir un article ou pas. Est-il déterminé, ou général ?
- much + indénombrable// many + dénombrable pluriel.
- Attention aux passés (déterminés et révolus ou pas!)
- revoir la différence entre so/ such Lien internet
- before comme toutes les prépositions est suivi de V+ING
- confusion loose/ lose (to lose, I lost lost).
Merci pour tout following up work, vraiment nécessaire pour cette EXPRESSION. de vos efforts!
Réponse : Let's Suggest/41 de magie8, postée le 15-07-2023 à 04:30:35 (S | E)
Here is the follow up
HELLO
EXPRESSION N°3 : d' après les dernières indications
My problem is () fear of heights, or () fear of emptiness... Of course I'm afraid of spiders and serpents, of the lions too, but there (aren't much in our country. My dream ( is to jump out from a plane/aircraft. ( For my birthday in April, my family gave me a ticket for a parachute jump but, I am (so coward that I am finding all sort of ( excuses... I say I am too heavy, too big( to skydive as a pair, and( I need to (lose some weight, a lot of weight... before ( jumping ! However ( to lose weight takes a lot of time, and I don't know when I (could jump. Never, I think! It is ( a bit ridiculous because I really want to jump, but I'm such ( a frightened person. Perhaps (you will give me an idea to (get rid of my fear... I hope (it . 141 words
Est -ce meilleur et acceptable maintenant ?
Réponse : Let's Suggest/41 de here4u, postée le 15-07-2023 à 11:11:43 (S | E)
Hello dear Magie!
Fast worker!
EXPRESSION N°3 : d' après les dernières indications
My problem is (the) fear of heights, or (the) fear of emptiness... Of course I'm afraid of spiders and serpents, of lions too... but there aren't many (1) in our country. My dream is to jump out of a plane/aircraft. For my birthday in April, my family gave me a ticket for a parachute jump but, I am so cowardly (2) that I am finding all sorts of excuses... I say I am too heavy, too big to skydive as a pair, and I need to lose some weight, a lot of weight... before jumping! However losing weight takes a lot of time, and I don't know when I will be able to jump. Never, I think! It is a bit ridiculous because I really want to jump, but I'm such a frightened person. Perhaps you will give me an idea to get rid of my fear... I hope so. 141 words
(1)"les lions" dénombrable pluriel impose many!
(2) "coward" est un nom. L'adjectif est "cowardly".
Bravo Magie!
Très bien corrigé! ca fait vraiment plaisir de voir comme tu as progressé pour corriger, ce que tu ne savais pas( et ne voulait pas vraiment
) faire ! 
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