Let's Suggest/47

Let's Suggest/47
Message de here4u posté le 29-09-2023 à 15:28:06 (S | E | F)
Hello, dear writers!

Another new topic for you to write about. I hope many will participate enthusiastically, and that you'll do it as well as ever...

You mustn't be afraid of making mistakes... We LOVE mistakes, because they give us an opportunity to explain and correct them!

Here is today's topic: "Is childhood the happiest moment in life?" (140 to 150 words.)

Voici le rappel des modalités de la première partie de l'exercice :
1. Je vous demande une EXPRESSION sur le sujet proposé à m’envoyer en mp dès que possible …
2. Très vite, cette première expression sera publiée sur le Forum, et CHACUN sera libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les erreurs EN BLEU - ou en majuscules si vous ne pouvez pas utiliser les couleurs- , et en soulignant ce qui vous semble maladroit et que vous voudriez changer, sans donner votre « correction » (forme correcte), à ce moment là, comme il se doit.) Si un autre membre a déjà indiqué des erreurs en bleu, VOUS DEVEZ repartir de cette correction et la confirmer ou la corriger... Un seul essai à la fois sera publié pour corriger… Vous pourrez ensuite donner vos suggestions de correction (en vert!)

IMPORTANT ! Pour me faciliter le transfert des corrections successives de vos travaux sur le site, pourriez vous m'indiquer par un "(" le mot ou segment de phrase qui devrai(en)t être modifié(s), s'il vous plaît ?
ie. (I'm repeating for years... ou (was not only to want something,... Pourquoi ? Simplement parce que le site ne "garde" pas les indications de couleurs ou de soulignement etc. dès que l'on copie... Donc, je prends vos travaux, je les corrige au fur et à mesure avec les codes "bleu" ou "souligné" ou "vert", mais au moment où je vous poste la correction, je perds tout mon travail... et dois tout refaire mot à mot en direct avec deux fenêtres ou même deux écrans pour un travail fastidieux de copie point par point! Merci de votre aide !

Les modalités complètes sont accessibles sur le lien suivant :
Lien internet


( Je vous les rappellerai au fur et à mesure de la progression du travail )
Cet exercice sera ce que vous en ferez ou ou **
Do your best, I trust You!
Correction en ligne le jeudi 12 octobre 2023.
J'attends vos envois en mp et publierai le premier dès que possible.

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU and with us!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/47 de here4u, postée le 30-09-2023 à 12:27:12 (S | E)
Hello, writers, readers and "correctors"!

Here is EXPRESSION N°1: please indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what's clumsy...

Childhood has often been mythologises as a golden age in which children untroubled by adult concerns of work and economic life are free to enjoy themselves; It is the phase of life when everything is new.

When we are children, we have a greater sens of curiosity, and we are more willing and impatient to discover things, and for the most part, mistakes we make were likely ,fairly benign. We seldom think of the future and this innocence leaves us free. IT's the first stage of life we enjoy in whatever way we like.
Our kid's life is generally structured around playing and being educated in fun and interesting ways.
We are usually happier when we are satisfied with good parents and good friends. However nobody is happy the whole time. Some children have even a very difficult life, for different traumatic reasons.

For better or worse childhood is the time that shapes our future. 157 mots

and for your help!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/47 de magie8, postée le 01-10-2023 à 00:04:31 (S | E)
hello SUGGESTIONS DE CORRECTION

Here is EXPRESSION N°1: please indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what's clumsy...

Childhood has often been mythologises as a golden age in which children untroubled by adult concerns of work and economic life are free to enjoy themselves; It is the phase of life when everything is new.

When we are children, we have a greater (sens) of curiosity, and we are more willing and impatient to discover things, and for the most part, mistakes we make were likely, fairly benign. We seldom think of the future and ( this innocence leaves us free.) IT's the first stage of life we enjoy in whatever way we like.
Our kid's life is generally structured around playing and being educated in fun and interesting ways.
We are usually happier when we are satisfied with good parents and good friends. However nobody is happy the whole time. ( Some children have even a very difficult life, for different traumatic reasons.)
)
For better or worse x childhood is the time x that shapes our future. 157 mots

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/47 de magie8, postée le 03-10-2023 à 08:49:03 (S | E)
hello correction

Here is EXPRESSION N°1:

Childhood has often been mythologises as a golden age in which children untroubled by adult concerns of work and economic life are free to enjoy themselves; It is the phase of life when everything is new.

When we are children, we have a greater (sense) of curiosity, and we are more willing and impatient to discover things, and for the most part, mistakes we make were likely, fairly benign. We seldom think of the future and ( this innocence leaves us free ( to play.) IT's the first stage of life we enjoy in whatever way we like.
Our kid's life is generally structured around playing and being educated in fun and interesting ways.
We are usually happier when we are satisfied with good parents and good friends. However nobody is happy the whole time. ( For different traumatic reasons, some children have even a very difficult life.)

For better or worse ( ,) childhood is the time (, )that shapes our future. 157 mots

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/47 de here4u, postée le 03-10-2023 à 11:37:06 (S | E)
Hello dears!

for your work and your indications and corrections: here are my indications.

EXPRESSION N°1: my indications:

Childhood has often been mythologises* as a golden age in which children untroubled by adult concerns of work and economic life are free to enjoy themselves; It is the phase of life when everything is new. (revoir la ponctuation de cette phrase.)

When we are children, we have a greater (sense) of curiosity, and we are more willing and impatient to discover things, and for the most part, XXX mistakes we make were likely, fairly benign.(revoir la ponctuation de cette phrase.) We seldom think of the future and ( this innocence leaves us free ( to play.) IT's the first stage of life we enjoy in whatever way we like.
Our kid's life(??? what do you mean?) is generally structured around playing and being educated in fun and interesting ways.
We are usually happier when we are satisfied with good parents and good friends. However nobody is happy the whole time. For different traumatic reasons, some children have even a very difficult life.)

For better or worse, childhood is the time, that shapes our future. 157 mots Assez bien. beaucoup de maladresses demeurent...

* Ceci est censé être une structure passive...alors?
Tu peux encore améliorer ce texte. Go for it!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/47 de magie8, postée le 04-10-2023 à 03:23:42 (S | E)
hello seconde correction

EXPRESSION N°1: my indications:

Childhood has often been (mythologised*) as a golden age in which children untroubled by adult concerns of work and economic life are free to enjoy themselves; It is the phase of life(,) when everything is new.

When we are kids, we have a greater (sense) of curiosity, and we are more willing and impatient to discover things, and for the most part (of) mistakes we make were likely, fairly(,) benign.() We seldom think of the future and this innocence leaves us free ( to play.) IT's the first stage of life we enjoy( as we like without worries. )
( During our young age life) is generally structured around playing and being educated in fun and interesting ways.
We are usually happier when we are satisfied with good parents and good friends. However nobody is happy the whole time. For different traumatic reasons, some children have even a very difficult life.)

For better or worse, childhood is the time, that shapes our future. 157 mots Assez bien. beaucoup de maladresses demeurent..

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/47 de here4u, postée le 04-10-2023 à 22:44:56 (S | E)
Hello dears,

for your work, Magie!

Here is EXPRESSION N°2: please indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what's clumsy...

Childhood is the most time a very pretty period. The parents love the kids and try to give them as much happy as possible.They give the time and love to the kids, buy everything : food,clothes, toys and give them any time as they need. The parents tell you wonderful stories, fear for you, speak you about fairys and Santa Claus. They develop your imagination. Friends are important too. They mark your early years. Some last forever. Kids need their parents for years and shouldn’t left to take decisions alone, without guide.
But sometimes, parents are too busy by their jobs, or have no patience and no generosity with their kids. On times, children are even punish, abuse and beat. So, depending of your parents and your family, and circonstances, childhood can be a heaven, or a hell…134 words

for your help!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/47 de magie8, postée le 07-10-2023 à 00:46:34 (S | E)
my suggestions hello

Here is EXPRESSION N°2: please indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what's clumsy...

Childhood is the most time a very pretty period. The parents love the kids and try to give them as much happy as possible.They give ( the) time and love to the kids, buy everything : food,clothes, toys and give them any time as they need. The parents tell you wonderful stories, fear for you, speak you about ( fairys) and Santa Claus. They develop your imagination. Friends are important too. They mark your early years. Some last forever. Kids need their parents for years and shouldn’t left to take decisions alone, without guide.
But sometimes, parents are too busy by their jobs, or have no patience and no generosity with their kids. On times, children are even (punish, abuse and beat.) So, depending of your parents and your family, and( circonstances ), childhood can be a heaven, or a hell…134 words

Pour l' instant je ne vois pas d' autres fautes

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/47 de here4u, postée le 08-10-2023 à 11:55:03 (S | E)
Hello dears,

EXPRESSION N°2: here are my indications. Green allowed.

Childhood is the most time a very pretty period. The parents love the kids and try to give them as much happy as possible.They give the time and love to the kids, buy everything : food, clothes, toys and give them any time as they need. The parents tell you wonderful stories, fear for you, speak XX you about fairys and Santa Claus. They develop your imagination. Friends are important too. They mark your early years. Some last forever. Kids need their parents for years and shouldn’t left to take decisions alone, without guide.
But sometimes, parents are too busy by their jobs, or have no patience and no generosity with their kids. On times, children are even punish, abuse and beat. So, depending of your parents and your family, and circonstances, childhood can be a heaven, or a hell…134 words

for your indications, magie!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/47 de magie8, postée le 08-10-2023 à 22:39:22 (S | E)
Hello dears,

EXPRESSION N°2: here are my indications. Green allowed.

Childhood is the most time a very pretty period. The parents love the kids and try to give them as much happy as possible. They give ( )time and love to ( ) kids, buy everything : food, clothes, toys and give them any time as they need. The parents tell you wonderful stories, fear for you, speak (to) you about (fairies) and Santa Claus. They develop your imagination. Friends are important too. They mark your early years. Some ( never forget) ) or are unforgettable. Kids need their parents for years and shouldn’t left to take decisions alone, without guide.
But sometimes, parents are too busy by their jobs, or have no patience and no generosity with their kids. On times, children are even ( punished, abused and beaten. ) So, depending of your parents and your family, and (circumstances,) childhood can be a heaven, or a hell…134 words

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/47 de here4u, postée le 12-10-2023 à 23:44:32 (S | E)
Hello dears,

Here are the recapitulations of your work. Congratulations to those of you who have written an expression, and to those who have tried to correct what your friends had written.


EXPRESSION N°1 : initial text

Childhood has often been mythologises as a golden age in which children untroubled by adult concerns of work and economic life are free to enjoy themselves; It is the phase of life when everything is new.

When we are children, we have a greater sens of curiosity, and we are more willing and impatient to discover things, and for the most part, mistakes we make were likely ,fairly benign. We seldom think of the future and this innocence leaves us free. IT's the first stage of life we enjoy in whatever way we like.
Our kid's life is generally structured around playing and being educated in fun and interesting ways.
We are usually happier when we are satisfied with good parents and good friends. However nobody is happy the whole time. Some children have even a very difficult life, for different traumatic reasons.
For better or worse childhood is the time that shapes our future. 157 mots


EXPRESSION N°1: Magie's indications N°1

Childhood has often been mythologises as a golden age in which children untroubled by adult concerns of work and economic life are free to enjoy themselves; It is the phase of life when everything is new.

When we are children, we have a greater (sens) of curiosity, and we are more willing and impatient to discover things, and for the most part, mistakes we make were likely, fairly benign. We seldom think of the future and (this innocence leaves us free.) IT's the first stage of life we enjoy in whatever way we like.
Our kid's life is generally structured around playing and being educated in fun and interesting ways.
We are usually happier when we are satisfied with good parents and good friends. However nobody is happy the whole time. (Some children have even a very difficult life, for different traumatic reasons.)
For better or worse x childhood is the time x that shapes our future. 157 mots


EXPRESSION N°1: Magie's suggestions N°1

Childhood has often been mythologises as a golden age in which children untroubled by adult concerns of work and economic life are free to enjoy themselves; It is the phase of life when everything is new.

When we are children, we have a greater (sense) of curiosity, and we are more willing and impatient to discover things, and for the most part, mistakes we make were likely, fairly benign. We seldom think of the future and this innocence leaves us free to play.IT's the first stage of life we enjoy in whatever way we like.
Our kid's life is generally structured around playing and being educated in fun and interesting ways.
We are usually happier when we are satisfied with good parents and good friends. However nobody is happy the whole time. For different traumatic reasons, some children have even a very difficult life.)

For better or worse ( ,) childhood is the time (, )that shapes our future. 157 mots


EXPRESSION N°1: my indications:

Childhood has often been mythologises* as a golden age in which children untroubled by adult concerns of work and economic life are free to enjoy themselves; It is the phase of life when everything is new. (revoir la ponctuation de cette phrase.)

When we are children, we have a greater (sense) of curiosity, and we are more willing and impatient to discover things, and for the most part, XXX mistakes we make were likely, fairly benign.(revoir la ponctuation de cette phrase.) We seldom think of the future and this innocence leaves us free to play. IT's the first stage of life we enjoy in whatever way we like.
Our kid's life(??? what do you mean?) is generally structured around playing and being educated in fun and interesting ways.
We are usually happier when we are satisfied with good parents and good friends. However nobody is happy the whole time. For different traumatic reasons, some children have even a very difficult life.)

For better or worse, childhood is the time, that shapes our future. 157 mots Assez bien.

* Ceci est censé être une structure passive...alors?

EXPRESSION N°1: magie’s suggestions N°2

Childhood has often been (mythologised) as a golden age in which children(virgule !) untroubled by adult concerns of work and economic life(virgule) are free to enjoy themselves; (It is the phase of life(,) pas de virgule) when everything is new.

When we are kids, we have a greater (sense) of curiosity, and we are more willing and impatient to discover things,(Je mettrais un point + majuscule ensuite en supprimant « and ») and) for the most part (of) XXX mistakes we make were likely,XX XX fairly(,) benign.()* We[Children] seldom think of the future and this innocence leaves us[them] free **(to play.) IT's the first stage of life we enjoy(as we like( ?) without worries. )(It’s a very enjoyable stage of life lived without worries.
During our young age life)[A child’s life/ Childhood] is generally structured around playing and being educated in fun and interesting ways.
We[Children] are usually happier when we[they] are satisfied with good parents and good friends. However nobody is happy the whole time/ all the time. For different traumatic reasons, some children have even a very difficult life.)
For better or worse, childhood is the time, that shapes our future. 157 mots

-To be mythologised: to be transformed into a myth=> idealised. Ceci est une forme passive : DONC : sujet + auxiliaire avoir+ been auxiliaire du passif) + participe passé.
The house has often been visited/ The exercises have already been done/ L’agent (la personne qui fait l’action) n’est pas mentionné.
- * For the most part, the mistakes we make (là, l’auteur se met dans la catégorie « kid »)/ Most of the mistakes made [which are made – un autre passif] are fairly benign./ le passif évite de devoir catégoriser le sujet et d’y inclure, ou non, l’auteur.
- ** Cette formulation me gêne encore, comme étant peu naturelle... This innocence makes them be/ lets them be...

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

EXPRESSION N°2: initial text.

Childhood is the most time a very pretty period. The parents love the kids and try to give them as much happy as possible.They give the time and love to the kids, buy everything : food,clothes, toys and give them any time as they need. The parents tell you wonderful stories, fear for you, speak you about fairys and Santa Claus. They develop your imagination. Friends are important too. They mark your early years. Some last forever. Kids need their parents for years and shouldn’t left to take decisions alone,
without guide.
But sometimes, parents are too busy by their jobs, or have no patience and no generosity with their kids. On times, children are even punish, abuse and beat. So, depending of your parents and your family, and circonstances, childhood can be a heaven, or a hell…134

EXPRESSION N°2 : Magie’s indications...

Childhood is the most time a very pretty period. The parents love the kids and try to give them as much happy as possible.They give ( the) time and love to the kids, buy everything : food,clothes, toys and give them any time as they need. The parents tell you wonderful stories, fear for you, speak you about ( fairys) and Santa Claus. They develop your imagination. Friends are important too. They mark your early years. Some last forever. Kids need their parents for years and shouldn’t left to take decisions alone, without guide.
But sometimes, parents are too busy by their jobs, or have no patience and no generosity with their kids. On times, children are even (punish, abuse and beat.) So, depending of your parents and your family, and( circonstances ), childhood can be a heaven, or a hell…134 words Good indications, but some other mistakes are left!

EXPRESSION N°2: here are my indications.

Childhood is the most time a very pretty period. The parents love the kids and try to give them as much happy as possible.They give the time and love to the kids, buy everything : food, clothes, toys and give them any time as they need. The parents tell you wonderful stories, fear for you, speak XX you about fairys and Santa Claus. They develop your imagination. Friends are important too. They mark your early years. Some last forever. Kids need their parents for years and shouldn’t left to take decisions alone, without guide.
But sometimes, parents are too busy by their jobs, or have no patience and no generosity with their kids. On times, children are even punish, abuse and beat. So, depending of your parents and your family, and circonstances, childhood can be a heaven, or a hell…134 words


EXPRESSION N°2: Magie’s suggestions.

Childhood is the most time a very pretty period. (1)(The) parents love the(their) kids and try to give them as much happy(2) as possible. They give ( )time and love to ( )[their: sinon, tu parles en général et des parents donneraient du temps et de l’amour à tous les enfants … ] kids, buy everything : food, clothes, toys and give them any time(3) as they need. (The) parents tell you(kids) wonderful stories, fear for you(them), speak (to) you (them) about (fairies) and Santa Claus. They develop your(their kids’) imagination. Friends are important too. They mark your early years. Some ( never forget)you ?) ) or are unforgettable. Kids need their parents for years and shouldn’t XX (4)left to (take decisions alone, without guide.
But sometimes, parents are too busy (by [because of ?]their jobs, or have no patience and no generosity (with their kids. (On times, children are even ( punished, abused and beaten. TTB) So, (depending of your parents (and), your family, and (circumstances,) childhood can be a heaven, or a hell…134 words Bonnes corrections (les passifs de la fin sont TB)

(1) Most of the time/ most times/=> Most of the time, childhood is…
- Pretty: joli ; impropre ici (pleasant/ nice…)
- Parents en général (pas d’article défini)
(2) happy est l’adjectif. Nous voulons le nom : happiness.
(3) any time: n’importe quel temps. Autant de temps que ? Lien internet

(4) encore un passif, et là, il manque l’auxiliaire du passif (to be !)
- to make decisions
- de la générosité envers : generosity TO somebody/ to be generous to/
- parfois : sometimes/ at times
- to depend ON

Voilà ! Comme toujours, vous pouvez reprendre tout ou partie de ces EXPRESSIONS dans votre Follow up.
(même s'il ne s'agit que d'une phrase, ou d'un segment de phrase, vous êtes les bienvenus ! )

Encore BRAVO aux rédacteurs, et MERCI, Magie pour ton aide à la correction!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/47 de magie8, postée le 13-10-2023 à 10:39:36 (S | E)
Hello derniere révision texte 1

Childhood has often been idealised as a golden age in which children, untroubled by adult concerns of work and economic life, are free to enjoy themselves;It is the phase of life, when everything is new.

When we are kids, we have a greater sense of curiosity, and we are more willing and impatient to discover things. For the most part of mistakes which are made are likely, fairly, benign. Children seldom think of the future and this innocence lets them free to play. It's the first stage of life we enjoy without worries.It’s a very enjoyable stage of life.
A child’s life is generally structured around playing and being educated in fun and interesting ways.
Children are usually happier when they are satisfied with good parents and good friends. However nobody is happy all the time. For different traumatic reasons, some children have even a very difficult life.

For better or worse, childhood is the time, that shapes our future.

J' ai remis en ordre selon les conseils
Merci à here4u
Est- ce acceptable maintenant ?

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/47 de here4u, postée le 13-10-2023 à 22:22:18 (S | E)
Hello dear Magie!

Merci pour ce Follow UP Work. La version précédente était "plus qu'acceptable"!

Childhood has often been idealised as a golden age in which children, untroubled by adult concerns of work and economic life, are free to enjoy themselves; it is the phase of life when everything is new.

When we are kids, we have a greater sense of curiosity, and we are more willing and impatient to discover things. For the most part of mistakes which are made are likely, fairly, benign. Children seldom think of the future and this innocence lets them free to play. It's the first stage of life we enjoy without worries. It’s a very enjoyable stage of life.TB
A child’s life is generally structured around playing and being educated in fun and interesting ways.
Children are usually happier when they are satisfied (brought up by.../ surrounded by/) with good parents and good friends. However nobody is happy all the time. For different traumatic reasons, some children have even a very difficult life.

For better or worse, childhood is the time, that shapes our future. Un très bon texte, maintenant!

For the most part of mistakes : In fact, most mistakes which are made are likely to be fairly benign/ are likely to be really minor

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