Let's Suggest /51
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Message de here4u posté le 30-11-2023 à 14:54:31 (S | E | F)
Hello, dear writers!
Another new topic for you to write about. I hope many will participate enthusiastically, and that you'll do it as well as ever... Don't forget, you may help us in two different ways:
- EITHER you send me your try and we'll help you...
OR:
- You can be one of the 'rescuers' and help remove the possible mistakes! In both cases, you'll be sincerely thanked for it!
You mustn't be afraid of making mistakes... We LOVE mistakes, because they give us an opportunity to explain and correct them!
Here is today's topic: "Please, tell us your best Christmas memory." (150 to 160 words.)
Voici le rappel des modalités de la première partie de l'exercice :
1. Je vous demande une EXPRESSION sur le sujet proposé à m’envoyer en mp dès que possible …
2. Très vite, cette première expression sera publiée sur le Forum, et CHACUN sera libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les erreurs EN BLEU - ou en majuscules si vous ne pouvez pas utiliser les couleurs- , et en soulignant ce qui vous semble maladroit et que vous voudriez changer, sans donner votre « correction » (forme correcte), à ce moment là, comme il se doit.) Si un autre membre a déjà indiqué des erreurs en bleu, VOUS DEVEZ repartir de cette correction et la confirmer ou la corriger... Un seul essai à la fois sera publié pour corriger… [ Merci de ne pas mélanger les EXPRESSIONS différentes ! Une fois l'exercice suivant publié, on " oublie " le précédent ...] Vous pourrez ensuite donner vos suggestions de correction (en vert!)
IMPORTANT ! Pour me faciliter le transfert des corrections successives de vos travaux sur le site, pourriez vous m'indiquer par un "(" le mot ou segment de phrase qui devrai(en)t être modifié(s), s'il vous plaît ?
ie. (I'm repeating for years... ou (was not only to want something,... Pourquoi ? Simplement parce que le site ne " garde " pas les indications de couleurs ou de soulignement etc. dès que l'on copie... Donc, je prends vos travaux, je les corrige au fur et à mesure avec les codes "bleu" ou "souligné" ou "vert", mais au moment où je vous poste la correction, je perds tout mon travail... et dois tout refaire mot à mot en direct avec deux fenêtres ou même deux écrans pour un travail fastidieux de copie point par point! Merci de votre aide !
Les modalités complètes sont accessibles sur le lien suivant :
Lien internet
( Je vous les rappellerai au fur et à mesure de la progression du travail )
Cet exercice sera ce que vous en ferez ou ou **
Do your best, I trust You!
Correction en ligne le vendredi 15 décembre 2023.
J'attends vos envois en mp et publierai le premier dès que possible.
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU and with us!
Message de here4u posté le 30-11-2023 à 14:54:31 (S | E | F)
Hello, dear writers!
Another new topic for you to write about. I hope many will participate enthusiastically, and that you'll do it as well as ever... Don't forget, you may help us in two different ways:
- EITHER you send me your try and we'll help you...
OR:
- You can be one of the 'rescuers' and help remove the possible mistakes! In both cases, you'll be sincerely thanked for it!
You mustn't be afraid of making mistakes... We LOVE mistakes, because they give us an opportunity to explain and correct them!
Here is today's topic: "Please, tell us your best Christmas memory." (150 to 160 words.)
Voici le rappel des modalités de la première partie de l'exercice :
1. Je vous demande une EXPRESSION sur le sujet proposé à m’envoyer en mp dès que possible …
2. Très vite, cette première expression sera publiée sur le Forum, et CHACUN sera libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les erreurs EN BLEU - ou en majuscules si vous ne pouvez pas utiliser les couleurs- , et en soulignant ce qui vous semble maladroit et que vous voudriez changer, sans donner votre « correction » (forme correcte), à ce moment là, comme il se doit.) Si un autre membre a déjà indiqué des erreurs en bleu, VOUS DEVEZ repartir de cette correction et la confirmer ou la corriger... Un seul essai à la fois sera publié pour corriger… [ Merci de ne pas mélanger les EXPRESSIONS différentes ! Une fois l'exercice suivant publié, on " oublie " le précédent ...] Vous pourrez ensuite donner vos suggestions de correction (en vert!)
IMPORTANT ! Pour me faciliter le transfert des corrections successives de vos travaux sur le site, pourriez vous m'indiquer par un "(" le mot ou segment de phrase qui devrai(en)t être modifié(s), s'il vous plaît ?
ie. (I'm repeating for years... ou (was not only to want something,... Pourquoi ? Simplement parce que le site ne " garde " pas les indications de couleurs ou de soulignement etc. dès que l'on copie... Donc, je prends vos travaux, je les corrige au fur et à mesure avec les codes "bleu" ou "souligné" ou "vert", mais au moment où je vous poste la correction, je perds tout mon travail... et dois tout refaire mot à mot en direct avec deux fenêtres ou même deux écrans pour un travail fastidieux de copie point par point! Merci de votre aide !
Les modalités complètes sont accessibles sur le lien suivant :
Lien internet
( Je vous les rappellerai au fur et à mesure de la progression du travail )
Cet exercice sera ce que vous en ferez ou ou **
Do your best, I trust You!
Correction en ligne le vendredi 15 décembre 2023.
J'attends vos envois en mp et publierai le premier dès que possible.
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU and with us!
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de here4u, postée le 05-12-2023 à 11:51:24 (S | E)
Hello dears!
Busy shopping for Xmas and the New year? Do not hesitate to tell us about your best Xmas memory...
Here is EXPRESSION N°1: Please indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what you think is clumsy.
I often recall Christmas in my youth and my childwood… It was surrounded by mystery, hope, ligths, good smell of natural fir tree. My brothers and me we decorated the tree and worried to see the needles fall around and let the tree naked before Santa can come…
One year, I was five or six years, I wanted a green bicycle. I wrote a letter for Santa and waited with hope and exitment… I will be my fisrt bicycle of big boy, and I cannot wait.
It was really a more shining, brillant, blazing, dazzling bicycle I have never seen. I had tears in the eyes and wanted to try it on immediately… I was very exited and of course, I fall down. I cried a little but quickly forgot my dolorous knees… in fact, it was the best fall and the best ride I had in all my life, and like I said, the best Christmas of my life. I love Christmas. 160.
for your help! 🎄 ☀️ 🎄 🎁 🎄
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de amalia80, postée le 05-12-2023 à 16:20:04 (S | E)
HELLO!
I often recall(Christmas in my youth and my childwood… It was surrounded by mystery, hope, ligths,( x x good smell of natural fir tree. My brothers and( me we me we decorated the tree and worried to see the needles fall around and let the tree naked before Santa can come…
One year, I was five or six years, I wanted a green bicycle. I wrote a letter ( for Santa and waited with hope and( exitment …( I will be my fisrt bicycle of big boy, and I ( cannot wait.
It was really a more shining, brillant, blazing, dazzling bicycle I have( never seen. I had tears in( the eyes and wanted to try it ( on immediately… I was very(exited and of course, I( fall down. I cried a little but quickly forgot my dolorous knees… in fact, it was the best fall and the best ride I had in all my life, and' like I said, the best Christmas of my life. I love Christmas. 160.
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de here4u, postée le 07-12-2023 à 14:51:17 (S | E)
Hello dears!
Green allowed.
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de amalia80, postée le 07-12-2023 à 15:44:25 (S | E)
HELLO!
I often ( remember the Christmas( of my youth and my childwood… It was surrounded by mystery, hope, ligths,( and the good smell of natural fir tree. My brothers and( I decorated the tree and worried to see the needles fall around and let the tree naked before Santa could come…
One year( when, I was five or six years( old, I wanted a green bicycle. I wrote a letter (to Santa and waited with hope and( excitement …( It would be my ( first bicycle of big boy, and I ( could not wait.
It was really a more shining, brillant, blazing, dazzling bicycle I have( ever seen. I had tears in( my eyes and wanted to ( use it immediately… I was very( excited and of course, I( fell down. I cried a little but quickly forgot my dolorous knees… In fact, it was the best fall and the best ride I had in all my life, and' 'as I said, the best Christmas of my life. I love Christmas. 160.
hello! J'essaye volontiers de corriger les fautes, mais je suis toujours très déçue quand je vois qu'il n'y a pas de retour de l'auteur de la production! bon il fallait que je le dise !
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de here4u, postée le 08-12-2023 à 22:53:38 (S | E)
Hello dear writers and dear correctors!
Hello Amalia! I do understand your frustration, but I also understand the writers who prefer to stay "anonymous" (but try their luck at writing). Some people are quite shy and not too sure of what they are writing in these EXPRESSIONS
.
Anyway, I will add some other indications in blue for the remaining mistakes, and I hope it will make up for the lack of the writer's feedback... a lot for your indications and suggestions.
EXPRESSION N°1: further indications after first corrections.
I often remember the Christmas of my youth and my childwood… It was surrounded by mystery, hope, ligths, and the good smell of XXX natural fir tree. My brothers and I decorated the tree and worried to see the needles fall around and let the tree 'naked' before Santa could come…
One year, when I was five or six years old, I wanted a green bicycle. I wrote a letter to Santa and waited with hope and excitement … It would be my first bicycle of big boy, and I could not wait.
It was really a more shining, brillant, blazing, dazzling bicycle I have ever seen. I had tears in my eyes and wanted to use it immediately… I was very excited and of course, I fell down. I cried a little but quickly forgot my dolorous knees… In fact, it was the best fall and the best ride I had in all my life, and' 'as I said, the best Christmas of my life. I love Christmas. 160.
Je n'ai pas d'autre EXPRESSION pour le moment ! Alas!
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de amalia80, postée le 09-12-2023 à 07:45:55 (S | E)
Hello!
Expression number 1 FOLLOW UP
J'ai repris le texte en tenant compte des dernières indications de Here4u.
I often remember( the Christmases of my youth and my ( childwood…( They were surrounded by mystery, hope, (lights, and (the good smell of( the natural fir tree. My brothers and I decorated the tree and worried about seeing the needles fall around,( leaving the tree"naked" before Santa could come…
One year, when I was five or six years old, I( fancied a green bicycle. I wrote a letter to Santa and waited with hope and excitement … It would be my ( first big boy bike, and I could not wait.
It was really( the most shining, brilliant, blazing, dazzling bicycle I( had ever seen. I had tears in my eyes and wanted to( ride it immediately… I was very excited and of course, I fell down. I cried a little but quickly forgot my ( sore knees… In fact, it was the best fall and the best ride I had in all my life, and' 'as I said, the best Christmas of my life. I love Christmas. 160.
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de here4u, postée le 10-12-2023 à 00:55:25 (S | E)
Hello dears!
Amalia for the last correction!
I didn't beg for volunteers in vain last night!
Here is EXPRESSION N°2: please, indicate possible mistakes and underline what you think is clumsy...
Here is my text about "My best Christmas memory"
"My best Christmas memory is definitely the first we had with our oldest child. Being born in late May, she was about 7 months old, discovering and enjoying her new world in so many occasions. At the moment we arranged the Christmas fur tree, she was clearly wondering about the shining garlands, the stars and the baubles glittering in the dark foliage, her eyes and mouth very round with happy surprise, already smiling at the beauty of her first Christmas.
Then, as we live in Provence, we set up the traditionnal «crèche», with its small numerous clay figures, and this was a moment of emotion for me, because this «crèche» was the very one from my childhood, just given to me by my mother on this occasion.
I will always remember how magic and unique these instants were, full of family warmth and love, with this little child opening up to life and to the world..." 160 words
As Amalia said, everyone is allowed to step in to help, including the author. Everyone can do it once in blue(indications) and in two days, once in green (suggestions) (on Dec 12th).
a lot for your help!
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de amalia80, postée le 10-12-2023 à 05:55:01 (S | E)
hello!
text number 2
"My best Christmas memory is definitely the first we had with our oldest child. Being born in late May, she was about 7 months old, discovering and enjoying her new world in so many occasions. At the moment we arranged the Christmas fur tree, she was clearly wondering about the shining garlands, the stars and the baubles glittering in the dark foliage, her eyes and mouth very round with happy surprise, already smiling at the beauty of her first Christmas.
Then, as we live in Provence, we set up the traditionnal «crèche», with its small numerous clay figures, and this was a moment of emotion for me, because this «crèche» was the very one from my childhood, just given to me by my mother on this occasion.
I will always remember how magic and unique these instants were, full of family warmth and love, with this little child opening up to life and to the world..." 160 words
Very nice text in which I see nothing to change or underline !
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de here4u, postée le 11-12-2023 à 15:40:24 (S | E)
Hello dears,
It's true that this text is extremely well-written!
Yet, I spotted three little mistakes that needed a corrections! Who will find them?
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de amalia80, postée le 11-12-2023 à 16:01:20 (S | E)
Hello!
hello!
text number 2
"My best Christmas memory is definitely the first we had with our oldest child. Being born in late May, she was about 7 months old, discovering and enjoying her new world in( so many occasions. At the moment we arranged the Christmas ( 🎄 fur tree, she was clearly wondering about the shining garlands, the stars and the baubles glittering in the dark foliage, her eyes and mouth very round with happy surprise, already smiling at the beauty of her first Christmas.
Then, as we live in Provence, we set up the ( traditionnal «crèche», with its small numerous clay figures, and this was a moment of emotion for me, because this «crèche» was the very one from my childhood, just given to me by my mother on this occasion.
I will always remember how magic and unique these instants were, full of family warmth and love, with this little child opening up to life and to the world..." 160 words
Are these the three little mistakes you spotted, Here4u?
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de amalia80, postée le 12-12-2023 à 11:53:15 (S | E)
Hello!
text number 2 suggestions
"My best Christmas memory is definitely the first we had with our oldest child. Being born in late May, she was about 7 months old, discovering and enjoying her new world ( on so many occasions. At the moment we arranged the Christmas ( 🎄 fir tree, she was clearly wondering about the shining garlands, the stars and the baubles glittering in the dark foliage, her eyes and mouth very round with happy surprise, already smiling at the beauty of her first Christmas.
Then, as we live in Provence, we set up the ( traditional «crèche», with its small numerous clay figures, and this was a moment of emotion for me, because this «crèche» was the very one from my childhood, just given to me by my mother on this occasion.
I will always remember how magic and unique these instants were, full of family warmth and love, with this little child opening up to life and to the world..." 160 words
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de here4u, postée le 13-12-2023 à 14:05:15 (S | E)
Hello dears,
Here's EXPRESSION N°3: for it! Please indicate possible mistakes and underline what looks clumsy to you.
For me, Christmas has always had a magical connotation; and even if I went back as far as I could remember, I couldn't choose one ,that was better than the others.
Of course, the Christmases of my childhood were marvellous; and I can still see my cousins and I waiting impatiently and feverishly,for the moment when we could open the presents laid out by father Christmas. In those days, there were fewer presents, and they were less sophisticated; but mine never disappointed me, on the contrary !
Later, as a young mother, it was wonderful either.,Seeing so much amazement and wonder in the children's eyes ,is an unforgettable memory.They don't all react in the same way : my daughter was speechless, not knowing which parcel to choose,; while her cousins quickly unwrapped theirs.
Now ,I'm old enough to be a great grandmother, but I still look forward to this festive season, to give presents..but also to receive some ! 160 words
for your help!
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de here4u, postée le 15-12-2023 à 00:19:18 (S | E)
Hello dears!
EXPRESSION N°3: my indications:
For me, Christmas has always had a magical connotation; and even if I went back as far as I could remember, I couldn't choose one ,that was better than the others.
Of course, the Christmases of my childhood were marvellous; and I can still see my cousins and I, waiting impatiently and feverishly,for the moment when we could open the presents laid out by father Christmas/ Santa. In those days, there were fewer presents, and they were less sophisticated; but mine never disappointed me, on the contrary !
Later, as a young mother, it was wonderful either.,Seeing so much amazement and wonder in the children's eyes ,is an unforgettable memory.They don't all react in the same way : my daughter was speechless, not knowing which parcel to choose,; while her cousins quickly unwrapped theirs.
Now ,I'm old enough to be a great grandmother, but I still look forward to this festive season, to give presents..but also to receive some ! 160 words
Une très bonne EXPRESSION! Bravo.
Green allowed. for your help!
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de amalia80, postée le 15-12-2023 à 04:53:56 (S | E)
Hello dears!
EXPRESSION N°3: my indications:
For me, Christmas has always had a magical connotation; and even if I went back as far as I could remember, I couldn't choose one ,that was better than the others.
Of course, the Christmases of my childhood were marvellous; and I can still see my cousins and I, waiting impatiently and feverishly,for the moment when we could open the presents laid out by father Christmas/ Santa. In those days, there were fewer presents, and they were less sophisticated; but mine never disappointed me, on the contrary !
Later, as young parents our Christmases were also wonderful .,Seeing so much amazement and wonder in the children's eyes ,is an unforgettable memory.They don't all react in the same way : my daughter was speechless, not knowing which parcel to choose,; while her cousins quickly unwrapped theirs.
Now ,I'm old enough to be a great grandmother, but I still look forward to this festive season, to give presents..but also to receive some ! 160 words
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de here4u, postée le 15-12-2023 à 23:28:19 (S | E)
Hello, dears!
Voici les corrections des EXPRESSIONS postées!
EXPRESSION N°1: initial test and my indications:
I often (recall Christmas in my youth and (my childwood… It was surrounded by mystery, hope, (ligths, XXX good smell of X natural fir tree. My brothers and (me (we decorated the tree and worried to see the needles fall around and (let the tree naked before Santa can come…
One year, I was five or six years XXX, I wanted a green bicycle. I wrote a letter for Santa and waited with hope and (exitment… (I will be my (fisrt bicycle of big boy), and I (cannot wait.
It was really (a more shining, (brillant, blazing, dazzling bicycle I (have (never seen. I had tears in (the eyes and wanted to try it on immediately… I was very( exited and of course, I (fall down. I cried a little but quickly forgot my (dolorous knees… in fact, it was the best fall and the best ride I had in all my life, and (like I said, the best Christmas of my life. I love Christmas. 160.
EXPRESSION N°1: indications N°1: by amalia.
I often recall(Christmas in my youth and my childwood… It was surrounded by mystery, hope, ligths,( x x good smell of X natural fir tree. My brothers and( me we me we decorated the tree and worried to see the needles fall around and let the tree naked before Santa can come…
One year, I was five or six years XXX, I wanted a green bicycle. I wrote a letter ( for Santa and waited with hope and( exitment …( I will be my (fisrt bicycle (of big boy, and I ( cannot wait.
It was really (a more shining, brillant, blazing, dazzling bicycle I have( never seen. I had tears in( the eyes and wanted to try it ( on immediately… I was very(exited and of course, I( fall down. I cried a little but quickly forgot my (dolorous knees… in fact, it was the best fall and the best ride I had in all my life, and' (like I said, the best Christmas of my life. I love Christmas. 160.
EXPRESSION N°1: suggestions N°1
I often ( remember the Christmas( of my youth and my childwood… It was surrounded by mystery, hope, ligths,( and the good smell of X natural fir tree. My brothers and( I decorated the tree and worried to see the needles fall around and let the tree naked before Santa could come…
One year( when, I was five or six years( old, I wanted a green bicycle. I wrote a letter (to Santa and waited with hope and( excitement …( It would be my ( first bicycle of big boy, and I ( could not wait.
It was really a more shining, brillant, blazing, dazzling bicycle I have( ever seen. I had tears in( my eyes and wanted to ( use it immediately… I was very( excited and of course, I( fell down. I cried a little but quickly forgot my dolorous knees… In fact, it was the best fall and the best ride I had in all my life, and' 'as I said, the best Christmas of my life. I love Christmas. 160. De bonnes corrections.
EXPRESSION N°1: my indications after corrections N°1
I often remember the Christmas of my youth and my childwood… It was surrounded by mystery, hope, ligths, and the good smell of XXX natural fir tree. My brothers and I decorated the tree and worried to see the needles fall around and let the tree 'naked' before Santa could come…
One year, when I was five or six years old, I wanted a green bicycle. I wrote a letter to Santa and waited with hope and excitement … It would be my first bicycle of big boy, and I could not wait.
It was really a more shining, brillant, blazing, dazzling bicycle I have ever seen. I had tears in my eyes and wanted to use it immediately… I was very excited and of course, I fell down. I cried a little but quickly forgot my dolorous knees… In fact, it was the best fall and the best ride I had in all my life, and' 'as I said, the best Christmas of my life. I love Christmas. 160.
Expression number 1: indications3/ suggestions2: amalia
J'ai repris le texte en tenant compte des dernières indications de Here4u.
I often remember (the Christmases of my youth and my ( childwood…( They were surrounded by mystery, hope, (lights, and (the good smell of( the natural fir tree. My brothers and I decorated the tree and worried about seeing the needles fall around,( leaving the tree"naked" before Santa could come…
One year, when I was five or six years old, I (fancied a green bicycle. I wrote a letter to Santa and waited with hope and excitement … It would be my ( first big boy bike, and I could not wait.
It was really( the most shining, brilliant, blazing, dazzling bicycle I( had ever seen. I had tears in my eyes and wanted to( ride it immediately… I was very excited and of course, I fell down. I cried a little but quickly forgot my ( sore knees… In fact, it was the best fall and the best ride I had in all my life, and' 'as I said, the best Christmas of my life. I love Christmas. 160.
- difference between remember and recall : Lien internet
Remember simply means having something available in one’s memory. Recall often has a connotation of conscious effort.
- les Noëls : the Christmases of my youth and childhood
- surrounded by/ with : entouré de
- odeurs : smell/ perfume/ scent/ fragrance/ odour/ aroma/ essence/
Unpleasant odours: pong/ whiff/ stench : puanteur
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
EXPRESSION N°2 : initial text and my indications:
"My best Christmas memory is definitely the first XXX we had with our oldest child (first child ?). Being born in late May, she was about 7 months old, discovering and enjoying her new world (in so many occasions. At (the moment we arranged the Christmas (fur tree, she was clearly wondering about the shining garlands, the stars and the baubles glittering in the dark foliage, her eyes and mouth very round with happy surprise, already smiling at the beauty of her first Christmas.
Then, as we live in Provence, we set up the (traditionnal «crèche», with its (small numerous clay figures, and this was a moment of emotion for me, because this «crèche» was the very one from my (own?)childhood, just given to me by my mother on (this occasion.
I will always remember how (magic and unique these instants were, full of family warmth and love, with this little child opening up to life and to the world..." 160 words
Une très bonne expression!
EXPRESSION N°2: indications N°1:
"My best Christmas memory is definitely the first we had with our oldest child. Being born in late May, she was about 7 months old, discovering and enjoying her new world in so many occasions. At the moment we arranged the Christmas fur tree, she was clearly wondering about the shining garlands, the stars and the baubles glittering in the dark foliage, her eyes and mouth very round with happy surprise, already smiling at the beauty of her first Christmas.
Then, as we live in Provence, we set up the traditionnal «crèche», with its small numerous clay figures, and this was a moment of emotion for me, because this «crèche» was the very one from my childhood, just given to me by my mother on this occasion.
I will always remember how magic and unique these instants were, full of family warmth and love, with this little child opening up to life and to the world..." 160 words
EXPRESSION N° 2: indications 1 bis
"My best Christmas memory is definitely the first we had with our oldest child. Being born in late May, she was about 7 months old, discovering and enjoying her new world (in( so many occasions. At the moment we arranged the Christmas ( 🎄 fur tree, she was clearly wondering about the shining garlands, the stars and the baubles glittering in the dark foliage, her eyes and mouth very round with happy surprise, already smiling at the beauty of her first Christmas.
Then, as we live in Provence, we set up the ( traditionnal «crèche», with its small numerous clay figures, and this was a moment of emotion for me, because this «crèche» was the very one from my childhood, just given to me by my mother on this occasion.
I will always remember how (magic and unique these instants were, full of family warmth and love, with this little child opening up to life and to the world..." 160 words
Are these the three little mistakes you spotted, Here4u? Not «all three of them», but some clumsy elements were spotted…
EXPRESSION N°2: suggestions 1
"My best Christmas memory is definitely the first * we had with our oldest child. Being born in late May, she was about 7 months old, discovering and enjoying her new world ( on so many occasions. At the moment we arranged the Christmas ( 🎄 fir tree, she was clearly wondering about the shining garlands, the stars and the baubles glittering in the dark foliage, her eyes and mouth very round with happy surprise, already smiling at the beauty of her first Christmas.
Then, as we live in Provence, we set up the (traditional «crèche», with its small numerous clay figures, and this was a moment of emotion for me, because this «crèche» was the very one from my childhood, just given to me by my mother on this occasion.
I will always remember how magic and unique these instants were, full of family warmth and love, with this little child opening up to life and to the world..." 160 words
-* the first one : looks and sounds better…
- our oldest child? our first child?
- on many occasions
- at the moment? at that moment : reporte mieux à un événement appartenant au passé. (that est "éloigné" [ idem plus loin pour «this was a moment»: that was…/ that crèche/ on that occasion/ those instants.] Bien garder à l'esprit que "this/ these" font référence à des "objets" ou événements proches (lieu ET temps- donc proches du présent) alors que "that/ those" font référence à des "sujets/ objets" ou événements éloignés (dans le temps ou dans l'espace), donc appartenant au passé.
- fir tree, but fur coat.
- traditional : un seul N
- its small numerous clay figures : passe, mais je préférerais «numerous» en premier car il est suffisamment imprécis pour être considéré comme « subjectif ». Lien internet
- magic: la magie (c’est le nom !) alors que l’adjectif magique : magical.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
EXPRESSION N°3: my indications:
For me, Christmas has always had a magical connotation; and even if I went back as far as I could remember, I couldn't choose one ,that was better than the others.
Of course, the Christmases of my childhood were marvellous; and I can still see my cousins and I, waiting impatiently and feverishly, for the moment when we could open the presents laid out by father Christmas/ Santa. In those days, there were fewer presents, and they were less sophisticated; but mine never disappointed me, on the contrary !
Later, as a young mother, it was wonderful either.,Seeing so much amazement and wonder in the children's eyes ,is an unforgettable memory.They don't all react in the same way : my daughter was speechless, not knowing which parcel to choose,; while her cousins quickly unwrapped theirs.
Now ,I'm old enough to be a great grandmother, but I still look forward to this festive season, to give presents..but also to receive some ! 160 words
Une très bonne EXPRESSION! Bravo.
EXPRESSION N°3: amalia's suggestions:
For me, Christmas has always had a magical connotation; and even if I went back as far as I could remember, I couldn't choose one ,that was better than the others.
Of course, the Christmases of my childhood were marvellous; and I can still see my cousins and I, waiting impatiently and feverishly,for the moment when we could open the presents laid out by father Christmas/ Santa. In those days, there were fewer presents, and they were less sophisticated; but mine never disappointed me, on the contrary !
Later, as young parents our Christmases were also wonderful .,Seeing so much amazement and wonder in the children's eyes ,is an unforgettable memory.They don't all react in the same way : my daughter was speechless, not knowing which parcel to choose,; while her cousins quickly unwrapped theirs.
Now ,I'm old enough to be a great grandmother, but I still look forward to this festive season, to give presents..but also to receive some ! 160 words
- "it was wonderful either" est impossible ! Pourquoi ? parce que c'est une phrase affirmative. "Either" doit être associé à une négation, et fait donc partie d'une phrase négative. Also 'sonne mal' ici, à cause du contexte...
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Un grand aux rédacteurs et aux correcteurs ! Vous pouvez toujours, si vous en éprouvez le besoin, [et avez le temps!] rédiger à nouveau les phrases qui vous ont le plus gênées. (Follow up Work!) Encore
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de amalia80, postée le 16-12-2023 à 13:51:00 (S | E)
Hello Here4u; thank you for the indications.
dans l'expression 3 pourrait on écrire:
Later, as young parents our Christmases were equally wonderful ....
Réponse : Let's Suggest /51 de here4u, postée le 16-12-2023 à 15:47:47 (S | E)
Hello, dear Amalia,
Oui, ce serait parfait !
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