LS62/Let's have a break 8

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LS62/Let's have a break 8
Message de here4u posté le 12-05-2024 à 12:29:15 (S | E | F)
Hello dears,

This is an easy exercise that everyone can do.

Toujours en pause sur l’ exercice d’EXPRESSION Let's Suggest tel qu’il était…
C'est à nouveau la " nouvelle formule ", surtout que les vacances reviennent... JE SAIS, JE CROIS que vous pouvez être beaucoup plus nombreux à essayer d'aider tout le monde par vos travaux et vos corrections.

Certains m’ont dit être gênés d’exprimer des idées personnelles (surtout qu’ils avaient l’impression – souvent fausse – de les exprimer maladroitement.) Cependant, je ne vous demande pas de " raconter votre vie " si vous ne le désirez pas... Je souhaite juste vous voir vous exprimer sur tout sujet aussi " librement " que possible.
De plus, je pense que vous aurez maintenant compris que pour moi, toute expression, même maladroite, est intéressante et a de la valeur. Elle nous stimule tous à " trouver mieux " !

Voici les questions auxquelles vous devrez répondre en utilisant un comparatif par réponse. (court ou long - supériorité, égalité ou infériorité au choix !

1. Are books still useful nowadays?

2. People no longer know how to write.

3. Are smells important and a source of inspiration for you?

4. What are our dreams made of ?

Vous pouvez choisir 1 ou 2 questions au choix – en notant bien les références - et développer celle(s) que vous voulez jusqu’à atteindre en tout un maximum d’environ 130-150 mots.

Envoyez-moi vos réponses en mp et je publierai une série que vous 'corrigerez' (en bleu d’abord pendant deux jours) puis en vert… et je publierai ensuite la deuxième série... (sans changements donc ! ) Vous gagnez de la liberté (celle de ne pas parler d'un ou plusieurs sujets, ceux qui ne vous " inspirent pas "... Vous écrivez la longueur que vous voulez, vous pouvez choisir d'inventer, de plaisanter, ou de répondre avec sérieux... Nous vous suivrons !

Cet exercice sera pour vous un ou en fonction de la qualité de vos écrits et des difficultés (surmontées) dans la prestation...
Cet exercice sera corrigé le lundi 27 mai 2024 ! Go for it! with THE FORCE.

Réponse : LS62/Let's have a break 8 de here4u, postée le 14-05-2024 à 11:30:00 (S | E)
Hello dears!

a lot for our first worker who sent us these anwsers to work on...

ANSWERS A: Please indicate possible errors and underline what you think is clumsy and could be improved...

TOPIC2: People no longer know how to write.
It's true that people write LESS AND LESS.
Young people don't even know how to hold a pen any more. They only communicate by phone or SMS and text message and write with abbreviations and acronyms.
As well as having become lazy at writing, the few letters they send are full of spelling mistakes.63 WORDS

TOPIC3: Are smells are important?
Yes, smells are important to me. I like good fruit and flower fragrances, MORE THAN than musty smells. Smells evoke memories: encounters, events. A smell can be attached to a place or a person.
That's why psychoanalysts use smells.
Personally, I can't say whether smells are a source of inspiration. However, I always scent my home and household linen. Every morning, I spray on my eau de parfum after washing. It makes me feel good. (80 words)

for your help!

Réponse : LS62/Let's have a break 8 de happynutmeg13, postée le 14-05-2024 à 14:20:56 (S | E)
Hello ! Thank you for the new exercise !

ANSWERS A: Please indicate possible errors and underline what you think is clumsy and could be improved...

I can't find a lot to be changed...
Here are my indications though : for topic 2, I'd suggest to add some vocabulary that would make things less dogmatic, especially concerning young people. I cannot imagine that the author thinks their text refers to all of them ?

TOPIC2: People no longer know how to write.
It's true that people write LESS AND LESS.
Young people don't even know how to hold a pen any more. They only communicate by phone or SMS and text message and write with abbreviations and acronyms.
As well as having become lazy at writing, the few letters they send* are full of spelling mistakes.63 WORDS

* en français on dirait "anacoluthe", en anglais "syntactic break" ?

TOPIC3: Are smells are important?
Yes, smells are important to me. I like good fruit and flower fragrances, MORE THAN than musty smells. Smells evoke memories: encounters, events. A smell can be attached to a place or a person.
That's why psychoanalysts use smells.
Personally, I can't say whether smells are a source of inspiration. However, I always scent my home and household linen. Every morning, I spray on my eau de parfum after washing. It makes me feel good. (80 words)

Réponse : LS62/Let's have a break 8 de gerold, postée le 14-05-2024 à 15:07:32 (S | E)
Hello here4U, and

ANSWERS A: Please indicate possible errors and underline what you think is clumsy and could be improved...

I can't find a lot to be changed...
Here are my indications though : for topic 2, I'd suggest to add some vocabulary that would make things less dogmatic, especially concerning young people. I cannot imagine that the author thinks their text refers to all of them ?

TOPIC2: People no longer know how to write.
It's true that people write LESS AND LESS.
Young people don't even know how to hold a pen any more. They only communicate by phone or SMS and text message and write with abbreviations and acronyms.
As well as having become lazy at writing, the few letters they send* are full of spelling mistakes.63 WORDS

* en français on dirait "anacoluthe", en anglais "syntactic break" ? I agree

TOPIC3: Are smells are important?
Yes, smells are important to me. I like good fruit and flower fragrances, MORE THAN than musty smells. Smells evoke memories: encounters, events. A smell can be attached to a place or a person.
That's why psychoanalysts use smells.
Personally, I can't say whether smells are a source of inspiration. However, I always scent my home and household linen. Every morning, I spray on my eau de parfum after washing. It makes me feel good. (80 words)

I am not sure "scent" is right here:

Lien internet

-------------------
Modifié par gerold le 14-05-2024 15:18

Réponse : LS62/Let's have a break 8 de here4u, postée le 18-05-2024 à 11:31:37 (S | E)
Hello dears,

Green allowed, and required ...

Réponse : LS62/Let's have a break 8 de happynutmeg13, postée le 21-05-2024 à 18:47:32 (S | E)
Hello !

Here are my suggestions :

J'ai tenu compte des remarques de Gerold, mais je ne sais pas si j'ai corrigé correctement

ANSWERS A: Please indicate possible errors and underline what you think is clumsy and could be improved...

I can't find a lot to be changed...
Here are my indications though : for topic 2, I'd suggest to add some vocabulary that would make things less dogmatic, especially concerning young people. I cannot imagine that the author thinks their text refers to all of them ?

TOPIC2: People no longer know how to write.
It's true that people write LESS AND LESS.
Young people mostly don't even know how to hold a pen any more. They only usually communicate by phone or SMS and are texting messages and are writing write with abbreviations and acronyms.
As well as having become lazy at writing They have become lazy at writing, and the few letters they send* are full of spelling mistakes. 63 WORDS

* en français on dirait "anacoluthe", en anglais "syntactic break" ? I agree

TOPIC3: Are smells ~~are~~ important?
Yes, smells are important to me. I like good fruit and flower fragrances, MORE THAN than musty smells.I prefer nice fruit and flower fragrances to musty smells. Smells evoke memories: encounters, events. A smell can be attached to a place or a person.
That's why psychoanalysts use smells.
Personally, I can't say whether smells are a source of inspiration. However, I always scent put scent in my home and household linen. Every morning, I spray on my eau de parfum after washing. It makes me feel good. (80 words)

I am not sure "scent" is right here:

Réponse : LS62/Let's have a break 8 de here4u, postée le 21-05-2024 à 22:16:25 (S | E)
Hello dears,

Here is ANSWER B: please, indicate possible mistakes, and underline what looks clumsy to you.

Topic 3. Are smells important and a source of inspiration for you ?

I think smells are important for all human beings (not to speak of animals!); I once read smells were the first sensations a new-born gets from the outside world: babies begin to recognise their mother by her natural smell; as for being a source of inspiration, the « madeleine de Proust » naturally comes to everyone's mind: a certain fragrance can convey a whole world of memories, and you are suddenly overwhelmed with people and images from the past you would never have spontaneously remembered;... indirectly, this delicious-smelling little cake inspired one of the most famous pieces in French literature! And what about this odd and breath-taking novel « Perfume: the Story of a Murderer », which takes you to the strange and bewitching realm of scents?

for your help!

Réponse : LS62/Let's have a break 8 de magie8, postée le 26-05-2024 à 09:35:18 (S | E)
correction ANSWER B
HELLO, POUR MOI CE TEXTE EST PARFAIT. JE NE SAURAI PAS FAIRE MIEUX , NI même aussi bien

Réponse : LS62/Let's have a break 8 de here4u, postée le 27-05-2024 à 18:10:43 (S | E)
Hell;o dears,

Here are the suggestions of improvement of your answers... (not many, because your works are quite good! )

ANSWERS A: Happynutmeg's indications.

ANSWERS A:
I can't find a lot to be changed...
Here are my indications though : for topic 2, I'd suggest to add some vocabulary that would make things less dogmatic, especially concerning young people. I cannot imagine that the author thinks their text refers to all of them ?
TOPIC2: People no longer know how to write.
It's true that people write LESS AND LESS.
Young people don't even know how to hold a pen any more. They only communicate by phone or (SMS and) text message and write with abbreviations and acronyms.
As well as having become lazy at writing, the few letters they send * are full of spelling mistakes.63 WORDS

* en français on dirait "anacoluthe", en anglais "syntactic break" ? Yes! Well noticed syntactic break!

TOPIC3: Are smells are important?
Yes, smells are important to me. I like good fruit and flower fragrances, MORE THAN than musty smells. Smells evoke memories: encounters, events. A smell can be attached to a place or a person.
That's why psychoanalysts use smells.
Personally, I can't say whether smells are a source of inspiration. However, I always scent my home and household linen. Every morning, I spray on my eau de parfum after washing. It makes me feel good. (80 words)
A very good EXPRESSION indeed!

Gerold's additions.

I can't find a lot to be changed... Sure!
Here are my indications though : for topic 2, I'd suggest to add some vocabulary that would make things less dogmatic, especially concerning young people. I cannot imagine that the author thinks their text refers to all of them...
Good remark!
TOPIC2: People no longer know how to write.
It's true that people write LESS AND LESS.
Young people don't even know how to hold a pen any more. They only communicate by phone or (SMS and) text message and write with abbreviations and acronyms.
As well as [Il est maladroit de commencer une phrase, et encore plus un paragraphe, par 'as well as') having become lazy at writing, the few letters they send* are full of spelling mistakes.63 WORDS

* en français on dirait "anacoluthe", en anglais "syntactic break" ? I agree. yes! Who will suggest an improvement?

TOPIC3: Are smells are important?
Yes, smells are important to me. I like good fruit and flower fragrances, MORE THAN than musty smells. Smells evoke memories: encounters, events. A smell can be attached to a place or a person.
That's why psychoanalysts use smells.
Personally, I can't say whether smells are a source of inspiration. However, I always scent my home and household linen. Every morning, I spray on my eau de parfum after washing. It makes me feel good. (80 words)

I am not sure "scent" is right here: It's true that it surprised me a little, but it is used...
Le même lien un peu plus bas donnait : Lien internet

scent
verb [ T ]
US /sent/
scent verb [T] (FILL WITH SMELL)

to fill an area or place with a smell, esp. a pleasant smell:
Perfume scented the air.

Happynutmeg's suggestions:

J'ai tenu compte des remarques de Gerold, mais je ne sais pas si j'ai corrigé correctement

ANSWERS A: I can't find a lot to be changed...
Here are my indications though : for topic 2, I'd suggest to add some vocabulary that would make things less dogmatic, especially concerning young people. I cannot imagine that the author thinks their text refers to all of them?

TOPIC2: People no longer know how to write.
It's true that people write LESS AND LESS.
Young people mostly don't even know how to hold a pen any more. They only usually communicate by phone or SMS and are texting messages and are write with abbreviations and acronyms.
They have become lazy at writing, and the few letters they send * are full of spelling [and/ or grammar] mistakes. 63 WORDS

* en français on dirait "anacoluthe", en anglais "syntactic break" ? I agree*

TOPIC3: Are smells important?
Yes, smells are important to me. I prefer nice fruit and flower fragrances to musty smells. Smells evoke memories: encounters, events. A smell can be attached to a place or a person.
That's why psychoanalysts use smells.
Personally, I can't say whether smells are a source of inspiration. However, I always put scent in my home and household linen. Every morning, I spray on my eau de parfum after washing. It makes me feel good. (80 words)

Good suggestions: "scent" is right here: it's much more frequently used as a noun...

- to evoke/ to conjure up/
- 'Young people don't even know how to hold a pen any more.' J'aime mieux la forme plus usuelle : Young people no longer know how to hold a pen.
- On m'a toujours appris à éviter 'Personally, I...' mais c'est vraiment un détail...

Très bonnes REPONSES et TB suggestions d'améliorations.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ANSWER B: Topic 3. Are smells important and a source of inspiration for you ?

I think smells are important for all human beings (not to speak of animals!* ); I once read smells were the first sensations a new-born gets from the outside world: babies begin to recognise their mother by her natural smell; as for being a source of inspiration, the « madeleine de Proust » naturally comes to everyone's mind: a certain fragrance can convey a whole world of memories, and you are suddenly overwhelmed with/ by people and images from the past you would never have spontaneously remembered;... indirectly, this delicious-smelling/ tasting little cake inspired one of the most famous pieces in French literature! And what about this odd and breath-taking novel « Perfume: the Story of a Murderer », which takes you to the strange and bewitching realm of scents?

- * I think I'd have developed that very interesting idea...
- 'It is true that the brain's olfactory (smell) center forms very early in fetal development. Newborns have a keen sense of smell. Within the first few days they will show a preference for the smell of their own mother.'

- A la lecture de l'allusion à la "Madeleine de Proust", j'ai à la fois été séduite et prête à contester... Alors, j'ai repris le texte...

" dès que j’eus reconnu le goût du morceau de madeleine trempé dans le tilleul que me donnait ma tante (quoique je ne susse pas encore et dusse remettre à bien plus tard de découvrir pourquoi ce souvenir me rendait si heureux), aussitôt la vieille maison grise sur la rue, où était sa chambre, vint comme un décor de théâtre s’appliquer au petit pavillon, donnant sur le jardin, qu’on avait construit pour mes parents sur ses derrières (ce pan tronqué que seul j’avais revu jusque là) ;" Lien internet
.

Pour moi il s'agissait bien plus de la saveur, du goût, de la madeleine et non pas vraiment de son odeur... Alors, j'ai continué ma lecture et un peu plus bas, il a été question de " l'alliance de la saveur et du goût " et je suis tombée d'accord...

Pas de fautes dans cet extrait! Bravo !

Si vous sentez nécessaire Un Follow Up Work d'une phrase, d'un passage ou d'un texte, n'hésitez pas. Je corrigerai tout ce que vous me donnerez. Encore et de ce très bon travail !

Réponse : LS62/Let's have a break 8 de happynutmeg13, postée le 27-05-2024 à 18:23:05 (S | E)
Hello!

Thank you dear Here4U for the correction!

Réponse : LS62/Let's have a break 8 de magie8, postée le 28-05-2024 à 09:06:06 (S | E)
Follow up
hello thank you dear here4u l'anacoluthe n'a pas été corrigée

Ok c'est une erreur de syntaxe, une figure de style qui me met en compagnie de La Fontaine, Pascal, Beaudelaire qui en ont fait aussi. Ce n'est pas si mal.
Je pense qu'il faut juste ajouter un sujet.

The few letters they send, these are full of spelling or grammar mistakes.
or
When they send a letter, it is full of spelling or grammar mistakes.

Réponse : LS62/Let's have a break 8 de happynutmeg13, postée le 28-05-2024 à 18:08:18 (S | E)
Hello all! Hello dear Magie!

Follow up "anacoluthe"

Le problème était : As well as having become lazy at writing, the few letters they send * are full of spelling mistakes.
Les sujets des deux propositions ne sont pas les mêmes (enfin je ne suis pas prof de français, mais disons que le 2è morceau de phrase, mis en apposition, devrait avoir le même sujet que le 1er ; sinon c'est l'"anacoluthe"

Donc la correction doit inclure je pense la 1è proposition et rectifier le problème des sujets différents

Cela pourrait tout simplement être : They have become lazy at writing, and the few letters they send * are full of spelling [and/ or grammar] mistakes
Le 2è morceau de phrase n'est plus en apposition, donc plus d'anacoluthe... Mon explication n'est pas très académique,je vais faire frémir les profs de français:

Réponse : LS62/Let's have a break 8 de here4u, postée le 01-06-2024 à 19:29:07 (S | E)
Hello dears!
Follow up
hello thank you dear here4u l'anacoluthe n'a pas été corrigée:
mais si ! Le sujet a été rappelé, il n'y a donc plus de 'syntactic break'! everything's alright!
Ok c'est une erreur de syntaxe, une figure de style qui me met en compagnie de La Fontaine, Pascal, Beaudelaire qui en ont fait aussi. Ce n'est pas si mal.
Je pense qu'il faut juste ajouter un sujet. Ca a été fait !

The few letters they send are full of spelling or grammar mistakes.
or
When they send a letter, it is full of spelling or grammar mistakes.OK.

Hello all! Hello dear Magie!
Follow up "anacoluthe"

Le problème était : As well as having become lazy at writing, the few letters they send * are full of spelling mistakes.
Les sujets des deux propositions ne sont pas les mêmes (enfin je ne suis pas prof de français, mais disons que le 2è morceau de phrase, mis en apposition, devrait avoir le même sujet que le 1er ; sinon c'est l'"anacoluthe" Exactement ! le sujet de 'becoming lazy at writing' était 'young people'...

Donc la correction doit inclure je pense la 1è proposition et rectifier le problème des sujets différents

Cela pourrait tout simplement être : They have become lazy at writing, and the few letters they send are full of spelling [and/ or grammar] mistakes C'est tout à fait ça !
Le 2è morceau de phrase n'est plus en apposition, donc plus d'anacoluthe... Mon explication n'est pas très académique,je vais faire frémir les profs de français:
Ca tombe bien, comme je ne suis pas prof de français, je n'ai pas frémis de cette explication Elle me va bien et le syntactic break est bien supprimé !

et à toute les deux !

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