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could you help me please
Message de ahd456 posté le 30-12-2007 à 23:09:01 (S | E | F | I)
Dear friends;
before posing my question i wanna to tell you happy new year with all the best wishes.
So here i have a writing that i do it by myself and i hope that you correct it and say to me your point of view about it good or bad persuade....
so this is my essay.
EH PARENTS GET UP BUT DON4T GIP UP
Nowadays taking drugs,alcohol,smoking and suiciding becoming one of the most phenomena that our society suffer from every now and then.But the big problem is that these dangerous thing are practicing by the youngs of today in other word the parents of tomorrow.So have you already thought about our society's future situation with these perfect generation?!!! have you already thought about the causes that push these young to do that? have you already decided how we can further develop young people's assets.
Many things you personally do or could do. everyday make a big difference between childrens and teenagers. whether you're parent grandparent neighbour aint uncle or someone who just sees young people in the mall in the neighbrhood or on the street corner there are many ways you can help to develop their assets.
How? by
-building positive relationship with them
-being available to listen to their problems their advice their suggestin and their point of views because that help them to build their own personalitty
-showing affection to teenagers by spending time with them even if you're not doing or talking about anything special
-avoiding comparing young people with other young people because that break their self-confident
-recognizing their ways
-providing to them a high levels of love and support
-receiving support from other nonparent adults
-helping them to succed in school
-making te adults feel that they have an important rules in the society
-making these young people feel safe at home at school in the neighborhood taking the reponsibility for monitoring young people behaviour
-encouraging them to spend three or more hours pe week listening to music practicing theater sports or other arts in order to make them open-minded and showing their talent
- making organizations at school or in community to make a good citizenship
-acting on convictions and stund up for their beliefs make them part of their lives
-making saying truth one of their convictions
-making them aware that drinking alcohol or other drugs is not the symbol of modernity as they think
-teaching them how to plan ahead and make the right decision and how can them have a high self-esteem
-helping young people stay committed to education and learning
To sum up teenagers at the age that in it they need care affection love and encouragement from the people in their lives. they also need to spend time in places that are warm caring and accepting in order to develop a perfect futur parents.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 01-01-2008 11:00
Message de ahd456 posté le 30-12-2007 à 23:09:01 (S | E | F | I)
Dear friends;
before posing my question i wanna to tell you happy new year with all the best wishes.
So here i have a writing that i do it by myself and i hope that you correct it and say to me your point of view about it good or bad persuade....
so this is my essay.
EH PARENTS GET UP BUT DON4T GIP UP
Nowadays taking drugs,alcohol,smoking and suiciding becoming one of the most phenomena that our society suffer from every now and then.But the big problem is that these dangerous thing are practicing by the youngs of today in other word the parents of tomorrow.So have you already thought about our society's future situation with these perfect generation?!!! have you already thought about the causes that push these young to do that? have you already decided how we can further develop young people's assets.
Many things you personally do or could do. everyday make a big difference between childrens and teenagers. whether you're parent grandparent neighbour aint uncle or someone who just sees young people in the mall in the neighbrhood or on the street corner there are many ways you can help to develop their assets.
How? by
-building positive relationship with them
-being available to listen to their problems their advice their suggestin and their point of views because that help them to build their own personalitty
-showing affection to teenagers by spending time with them even if you're not doing or talking about anything special
-avoiding comparing young people with other young people because that break their self-confident
-recognizing their ways
-providing to them a high levels of love and support
-receiving support from other nonparent adults
-helping them to succed in school
-making te adults feel that they have an important rules in the society
-making these young people feel safe at home at school in the neighborhood taking the reponsibility for monitoring young people behaviour
-encouraging them to spend three or more hours pe week listening to music practicing theater sports or other arts in order to make them open-minded and showing their talent
- making organizations at school or in community to make a good citizenship
-acting on convictions and stund up for their beliefs make them part of their lives
-making saying truth one of their convictions
-making them aware that drinking alcohol or other drugs is not the symbol of modernity as they think
-teaching them how to plan ahead and make the right decision and how can them have a high self-esteem
-helping young people stay committed to education and learning
To sum up teenagers at the age that in it they need care affection love and encouragement from the people in their lives. they also need to spend time in places that are warm caring and accepting in order to develop a perfect futur parents.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 01-01-2008 11:00
Réponse: could you help me please de n0sunset, postée le 31-12-2007 à 10:20:14 (S | E)
do from young!
Réponse: could you help me please de tomtom1001, postée le 31-12-2007 à 14:50:48 (S | E)
Hi,
-in blue: conjugaison faults
-in green: spelling faults
-in pink: grammar fault
-highlighted: incorrect
EH PARENTS GET UP BUT DON'T
Nowadays taking drugs, alcohol, (add another verb here because "taking suiciding" is incorrect!!) smoking and suiciding becoming one of the most (an adjective is missing!!) phenomena that our society suffer from every now and then. But the big problem is that these dangerous thing are practicing by the youngs (incorrect: "young people") of today in other word the parents of tomorrow. So have you already (misused adverb!) thought about our society's future situation with these perfect generation ("this perfect generation" or "these perfect generations", it depends on what you want to say?)?!!! have you already thought about the causes that push these young to do that? have you already decided how we can further develop young people's assets (incorrect: I prefer "qualities").
Many things you personally do or could do everyday make a big difference between children
How? by
-building positive (better???) relationship with them
-being available to listen to their problems their advice their suggestin and their point of views because that help them to build their own personalitty
-showing affection to teenagers by spending time with them even if you're not doing or talking about anything special
-avoiding comparing young people with other young people because that break their self-confident ("self-confident" is an adjective, not a noun)
-recognizing their ways
-providing to them a high levels of love and support
-receiving support from other nonparent adults
-helping them to succed in school
-making te adults feel that they have
-making
-encouraging them to spend three or more hours pe week listening to music practicing theater sports or other arts in order to make them open-minded and showing their talent
- making organizations at school or in community to make a good citizenship
-acting on convictions and stund up for their beliefs make them part of their lives
-
-making them aware that drinking alcohol or other drugs is not the symbol of modernity as they think
-teaching them how to plan ahead and make the right decision and how can them have a high self-esteem (self-respect)
-helping young people stay committed to education and learning
To sum up teenagers at the age that in it they need care affection love and encouragement from the people in their lives. they also need to spend time in places that are warm caring and accepting in order to develop a perfect futur parents.
I hope I could help you!!!
Bye tomtom
Réponse: could you help me please de ahd456, postée le 31-12-2007 à 15:18:07 (S | E)
ohhhhhhhhh tomtom thank u so much for ur useful correction thank uuuuuu but the problem is that u underline my mestakes but you didn't corrct them so how can me know the correction i hope that u can correct them as soon as possible and thanks a lot
Réponse: could you help me please de lucile83, postée le 31-12-2007 à 16:40:13 (S | E)
Hello,
Members can help you to correct your text but they never do the work in your place;that is a rule on this site.
Regards.
Réponse: could you help me please de ahd456, postée le 31-12-2007 à 18:19:03 (S | E)
ok thanks dear teacher lucile for this information but where is the important of this site if nobody can help me to correct my mestakes so i did an essay and i need someone some correction in order to not do it again
Réponse: could you help me please de lucile83, postée le 31-12-2007 à 21:39:17 (S | E)
Please make the difference between help someone and do his work
