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Aide pour une lettre de motivation (1)

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Aide pour une lettre de motivation
Message de mikymax39 posté le 05-02-2009 à 14:52:35 (S | E | F)

Bonjour, j'ai écrit une lettre de motivation en anglais pour une inscription dans une université suédoise, et j'aurais voulu savoir si quelqu'un pouvait prendre une minute pour la lire et me dire s'il voit des fautes! Merci d'avance pour ceux qui prendraient le temps de m'aider ...

Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m a 22 years old student at INSA de xxx in the Mechanical department. I’m considering doing my last year of studies abroad and your university caught my attention.

As part of my studies, I would like to study six months in KTH. I think that having a foreign experience is a must nowadays. I’ve always been interested by living in a north country, and the partnership with the INSA is a good opportunity for me to discover yours. I’ve already been to Finland for holidays but now, I want to discover the everyday life in Sweden. Moreover, this will be the opportunity to improve my English thanks to yours courses in English, and to discover your language.

I choose your university because the range of courses concerning the materials science is very vast and interesting. Moreover, your university proposes some alternatives courses: the study of Biomedical Materials, Composites, Biomaterials... This attracted me, and made me very motivated to join these courses and maybe discover an other aspect of materials engineering. I also saw a project course that you submitted in Autumn 2008, whose purpose was to develop a new biomedical materials project based on the gathered knowledge. It is for that type of project that I chose a specialisation in materials, and if I am admitted, it would be an honour to participate in an equivalent project during my stay abroad.

Once graduated, I would like to work as a Materials science engineer in civil engineering or in industries. I still thinking that your university can bring me others experiences and knowledge to prepare in a efficient way my future occupation.

Yours sincerely,

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 05-02-2009 14:55
Divers



Réponse: Aide pour une lettre de motivation de azer3, postée le 28-02-2009 à 17:51:51 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici quelques éléments de corrections.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m a 22 years old student at xxx's INSA in the Mechanical department. I’m considering doing my last year of studies abroad and your university has caught my attention.

As part of my studies, I would like to study six months in KTH. I think that having a foreign experience is a must nowadays. I’ve always been interested by living in a north country, and the partnership with the INSA is a good opportunity for me to discover yours. I’ve already been to Finland for holidays but now, I want to discover the everyday/daily life in Sweden. Moreover, this will be the/an opportunity to improve my English thanks to yours English courses, and to discover your language.

I choose your university because the range of courses concerning the materials science is very vast and interesting. Moreover, your university proposes some alternatives courses: the study of Biomedical Materials, Composites, Biomaterials... This has attracted me, and made me very motivated to join these courses and maybe I will discover an other aspect of materials engineering. I also saw a project course that you submitted in Autumn 2008, whose purpose was to develop a new biomedical materials project based on the gathered knowledge. It is for that type of project that I chose a specialisation/specialization in materials, and if I am admitted, it would be an honour to participate in an equivalent project during my stay abroad.

Once graduated, I would like to work as a Materials science engineer in civil engineering or in industries. I still thinking that your university can bring me others experiences and knowledges to prepare in a efficient way my future occupation./to prepare my future occupation in an efficient way/ c'est mieux.

Yours sincerely,

Well done!
Good job!


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-02-2009 18:03
nom de la ville remplacé par xxx

-------------------
Modifié par azer3 le 28-02-2009 19:34
oui



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