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Vérification lettre motivation
Message de franck331 posté le 05-02-2009 à 15:01:56 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous, je dois pour une offre d'emploi, envoyer une lettre de motivation, quelqu'un serait assez aimable pour jeter un coup d'oeil si je n'ai pas fait (du moins pas trop...) d'erreurs
Dear sir, Madam,
Following the Bankruptcy of … which employed me for six years, I allow me of contacting you with the aim of offering you my services.
Having there occupied many functions, I have gained experience in miscellaneous fields, which, I think, could interest you. I am someone of brave, motivated, who learn quicky new thinks if needed and immediately available.
My enclosed CV makes etat of my carreer and I would be happy of commenting it during a next interview.
Yours faithfully,
…
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Modifié par lucile83 le 05-02-2009 15:14
titre
Message de franck331 posté le 05-02-2009 à 15:01:56 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous, je dois pour une offre d'emploi, envoyer une lettre de motivation, quelqu'un serait assez aimable pour jeter un coup d'oeil si je n'ai pas fait (du moins pas trop...) d'erreurs
Dear sir, Madam,
Following the Bankruptcy of … which employed me for six years, I allow me of contacting you with the aim of offering you my services.
Having there occupied many functions, I have gained experience in miscellaneous fields, which, I think, could interest you. I am someone of brave, motivated, who learn quicky new thinks if needed and immediately available.
My enclosed CV makes etat of my carreer and I would be happy of commenting it during a next interview.
Yours faithfully,
…
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Modifié par lucile83 le 05-02-2009 15:14
titre
Réponse: Vérification lettre motivation de azer3, postée le 15-02-2009 à 23:11:00 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Following the Bankruptcy of … which employed
me for six years, I allow me of contacting you with the aim of offering you my services.Having there
occupied many functions, I have gained experience in miscellaneous fields, which, I think, could interest you. I am someone of brave, motivated, who learn quicky new thinks if needed and immediately available.My enclosed CV makes etat of
my carreer and I would be happy of commenting it during a next interview.Yours faithfully,
"for" implique l'emploi de present perfecton dit pas "allow me" c'est de français "allow miself" est plus correcte"of" soit tu le supprime soit tu le remplace par "to".je tu propose de remplacer "with the aim of" par "to offer you..."enlève çaon dit pas quickyif it is needed..."shows" a la palce de "makes etat of"Voilà.
Réponse: Vérification lettre motivation de franck331, postée le 16-02-2009 à 09:56:35 (S | E)
merci beaucoup pour ton aide, je vais modifier tout çà
