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Lettre de motivation - covering letter
Message de mibolti posté le 31-08-2009 à 21:00:12 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, voici une lettre de motivation que j'ai réalisé (avec du mal), qu'en pensez-vous ?
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses
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I wish to apply for the job of Industrial Engineer, which was advertised on the “Monster" website. *** is a major company in maintenance and refurbishment aircrafts and it must be very interesting to work in your company.
I finished just my five-year degree course in Engineering in Manufacturing Management and Engineering department at the UTBM: a French Engineering school.
As you will notice in my CV, I have already had the opportunity to use my knowledge during training periods, especially in ** where, I was I charge of the improvement of an assembly line (with the help of Lean Manufacturing tools). During this training period, I worked also on the industrial planning (optimization of the load planning, for example). Moreover, I have acquired a managerial experience that I would like to develop in your company.
I would very much enjoy working for ***. I will participate on the improvement of the line and of the planning. I think, I am able to do this, because is exactly what I did during my training period. I am well organized, friendly, and I like teamwork so I hope you will find me to be an adaptable person.
I would be pleased to discuss my CV with you in more detail during an interview. In the meantime, please do not hesitate to contact me, if you require further information.
Hoping you will consider my request favourably, I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
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Modifié par bridg le 31-08-2009 23:05
Divers
Message de mibolti posté le 31-08-2009 à 21:00:12 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, voici une lettre de motivation que j'ai réalisé (avec du mal), qu'en pensez-vous ?
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses
-----
I wish to apply for the job of Industrial Engineer, which was advertised on the “Monster" website. *** is a major company in maintenance and refurbishment aircrafts and it must be very interesting to work in your company.
I finished just my five-year degree course in Engineering in Manufacturing Management and Engineering department at the UTBM: a French Engineering school.
As you will notice in my CV, I have already had the opportunity to use my knowledge during training periods, especially in ** where, I was I charge of the improvement of an assembly line (with the help of Lean Manufacturing tools). During this training period, I worked also on the industrial planning (optimization of the load planning, for example). Moreover, I have acquired a managerial experience that I would like to develop in your company.
I would very much enjoy working for ***. I will participate on the improvement of the line and of the planning. I think, I am able to do this, because is exactly what I did during my training period. I am well organized, friendly, and I like teamwork so I hope you will find me to be an adaptable person.
I would be pleased to discuss my CV with you in more detail during an interview. In the meantime, please do not hesitate to contact me, if you require further information.
Hoping you will consider my request favourably, I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
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Modifié par bridg le 31-08-2009 23:05
Divers
Réponse: Lettre de motivation - covering letter de lauretess, postée le 06-09-2009 à 14:51:54 (S | E)
I have just finished et non I finished just
I already had et non I have already had
in charge et non I charge
I also worked et non I worked also
I would really appreciate serait peut-être plus indiqué que I would very much enjoy
I would participate au lieu de I will participate (qui suggèrerait que vous vous considériez comme déjà embauché)
because it is exactly au lieu because is exactly
I hope you will find me to be an adaptable person est maladroit - Mettre plutôt quelque chose comme If we work together, you will see I am ...
Good luck
Réponse: Lettre de motivation - covering letter de mibolti, postée le 06-09-2009 à 15:42:33 (S | E)
Bonjour Lauretess et merci pour votre réponse
Je prendrai
Cordialement,
Bertrand
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Modifié par bridg le 06-09-2009 15:55
Réponse: Lettre de motivation - covering letter de lauretess, postée le 09-09-2009 à 17:12:32 (S | E)
De rien Bertrand. Ne vous inquiétez pas vos erreurs n'étaient pas bien graves. Je me permets toutefois de vous suggérer de revoir la place des adverbes. C'était la seule erreur récurrente que j'ai remarquée dans votre courrier.
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