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Correction/ a poem about science
Message de benchada posté le 03-04-2010 à 23:46:51 (S | E | F)
Good evening every body
They asked us at school to write a simple poem, and I did my best
Please could you correct for me, whether there are some mistakes of Grammar or such a thing.
Thanks a lot
Here it is
*****
Science
It°s the candle that lighten your road
It°s the golden sun that rises everyday
It°s the flower whose smell spread everywhere
It°s without doubt … “science”
It°s the cloud that flies you and your nation to the high sky
It°s who turns back smiles to children faces, today
It°s who turns back the life smell to many people who gave up the ghost, yesterday
It°s surely … “science”
Thanks to it, wars were stopped and tears are dry
Thanks to it, our life becomes easy like drinking water, and just lie
Thanks to it, we can see worldwide less people cry
Thanks to it, we are in a tiny village, and; whenever and wherever: we can say to any person: Hi
Thanks to it, discovered the whole earth: its low and its high
Yes, it could do all that, and it still do
Believe in science …. It has a lot to give for mankind
Just love it .. just look for it .. just try it
Just do it .. and you will find out the real fortune..science
**********
I am waiting for your answers, and thanks a lot again.
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 04-04-2010 07:38
+ forum
Message de benchada posté le 03-04-2010 à 23:46:51 (S | E | F)
Good evening every body
They asked us at school to write a simple poem, and I did my best
Please could you correct for me, whether there are some mistakes of Grammar or such a thing.
Thanks a lot
Here it is
*****
Science
It°s the candle that lighten your road
It°s the golden sun that rises everyday
It°s the flower whose smell spread everywhere
It°s without doubt … “science”
It°s the cloud that flies you and your nation to the high sky
It°s who turns back smiles to children faces, today
It°s who turns back the life smell to many people who gave up the ghost, yesterday
It°s surely … “science”
Thanks to it, wars were stopped and tears are dry
Thanks to it, our life becomes easy like drinking water, and just lie
Thanks to it, we can see worldwide less people cry
Thanks to it, we are in a tiny village, and; whenever and wherever: we can say to any person: Hi
Thanks to it, discovered the whole earth: its low and its high
Yes, it could do all that, and it still do
Believe in science …. It has a lot to give for mankind
Just love it .. just look for it .. just try it
Just do it .. and you will find out the real fortune..science
**********
I am waiting for your answers, and thanks a lot again.
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 04-04-2010 07:38
+ forum
Réponse: Correction/ a poem about science de khalid1970, postée le 04-04-2010 à 00:25:25 (S | E)
Bonjour,
voici quelques remarques:
It°s the candle that lighten your road, cherchez un autre verbe
It°s the golden sun that rises everyday
It°s the flower whose smell (scent est plus poétique) spreads everywhere
It°s without doubt … “science”
It°s the cloud that flies you and your nation to the high sky
It°s who turns back smiles to children's faces, today
It°s who turns back the life smell to many people who gave up the ghost, yesterday
It°s surely … “science”
Thanks to it, wars were stopped and tears are dry
Thanks to it, our life has become
Thanks to it, we can see worldwide less people cry
Thanks to it, we are in a tiny village, and; whenever and wherever: we can say to any person: Hi
Thanks to it, (we) discovered the whole earth: its low and its high
Yes, it could do all that, and it still does
Believe in science …. It has a lot to give for mankind
Just love it .. just look for it .. just try it
Just do it .. and you will find out the real fortune..science
En rouge= à revoir
cordialement
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