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Australie/correction
Message de malgachejavel posté le 24-08-2010 à 12:54:42 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde!!
Actuellement étudiante dans une école de commerce, j'ai eu la chance de faire un stage de 3 mois en Australie (et oui!!
)...
Maintenant, après le calme (de mon séjour), c'est la tempête carmaintenant je dois écrire un rapport de stage de 35 pages, jusque là c'est faisable mais en ANGLAIS, là, croyez-moi, ce n'est pas la même affaire
J'ai écrit mon introduction et j'aurais voulu avoir votre avis (et vos corrections parce que mon anglais est loin d'être parfait), ce qui cloche selon moi dans mon introduction c'est qu'il n'y a pas de phrase de transition entre l'avant dernier paragraphe et l'avant avant dernier paragraphe!! merci d'avance à tous
If someone want to travel in France with a wallet not very well-lined (garni), it will be really difficult. Indeed, prices of accommodation are most of the time really high. However, in Australia, you can find on every street corner (ds ts les coins de rue) a backpacker which propose accommodation cheap. It is the ideal accommodation for globetrotter or people who do not want to consecrate an important part of their budget for accommodation.
Furthermore, backpackers are the best places for meet people, share experiences and points of view. It is because of this conviviality that I decided to make my internship in 12:01 east backpacker, In Perth. After a first internship in a food firm and a fitness center, I decided to do my internship in the tourism sector because it was an activity sector that I did not know and which interested me.
Every year, second year students of the business and accounting school leave Reunion Island to go in a foreign country, to do an 11-week internship. That is how 49 students went to Europe, Canada, South Africa, and Australia. This experience gave us the opportunity to discover a new country and work in a foreign company.
I choose Australia and more exactly Perth because since several years, I project, after my studies to live in a foreign country and Australia attract me more particularly because of its rate of unemployment: between 4 and 5%.
Across this internship, my aim goals were to:
-Strengthen language skills
-Open to a new culture
-Acquire a professional experience
-Exchange and discover
- improve my English and become at ease with this language which can prove to be (qui peut s’avérer) really useful, especially in business. Indeed, English is the fourth native language more spoken (after mandarin, Hindi and Spanish), but it is yet (pourtant) the language more used in the earth. Nowadays, 2 trillion of people use English like a second language. Globalization of economy, fusion of international companies contribute to the necessity of speak a common language to communicate easier.
2008 was a pivotal year (=une année charniére) in the history of internet because it marks the advent (avénement) of social media. Blogs, social networks, collaborative portals, lifecast ... the number of tools available is everyday more and more important. In this unstable context for traditional media, how brands should do to keep control of their image? What impact social's media having on Australians hostel infrastructure? Finally, does social Media’s development represent an opportunity or a threat for Australian Hostel?
This subject will be the object of the first part of this report. Then I will describe Australia and the region of Western Australia. After that, I will do a presentation of the company Blue Poppy Leisure. Next, I will present you the different tasks that I achieved during my work placement. Finally, I will conclude by an analyze of this internship in Australia.
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Modifié par bridg le 24-08-2010 13:32
+ titre
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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-08-2010 08:04
forum
Message de malgachejavel posté le 24-08-2010 à 12:54:42 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde!!
Actuellement étudiante dans une école de commerce, j'ai eu la chance de faire un stage de 3 mois en Australie (et oui!!
)... Maintenant, après le calme (de mon séjour), c'est la tempête car
J'ai écrit mon introduction et j'aurais voulu avoir votre avis (et vos corrections parce que mon anglais est loin d'être parfait), ce qui cloche selon moi dans mon introduction c'est qu'il n'y a pas de phrase de transition entre l'avant dernier paragraphe et l'avant avant dernier paragraphe!! merci d'avance à tous
If someone want to travel in France with a wallet not very well-lined (garni), it will be really difficult. Indeed, prices of accommodation are most of the time really high. However, in Australia, you can find on every street corner (ds ts les coins de rue) a backpacker which propose accommodation cheap. It is the ideal accommodation for globetrotter or people who do not want to consecrate an important part of their budget for accommodation.
Furthermore, backpackers are the best places for meet people, share experiences and points of view. It is because of this conviviality that I decided to make my internship in 12:01 east backpacker, In Perth. After a first internship in a food firm and a fitness center, I decided to do my internship in the tourism sector because it was an activity sector that I did not know and which interested me.
Every year, second year students of the business and accounting school leave Reunion Island to go in a foreign country, to do an 11-week internship. That is how 49 students went to Europe, Canada, South Africa, and Australia. This experience gave us the opportunity to discover a new country and work in a foreign company.
I choose Australia and more exactly Perth because since several years, I project, after my studies to live in a foreign country and Australia attract me more particularly because of its rate of unemployment: between 4 and 5%.
Across this internship, my aim goals were to:
-Strengthen language skills
-Open to a new culture
-Acquire a professional experience
-Exchange and discover
- improve my English and become at ease with this language which can prove to be (qui peut s’avérer) really useful, especially in business. Indeed, English is the fourth native language more spoken (after mandarin, Hindi and Spanish), but it is yet (pourtant) the language more used in the earth. Nowadays, 2 trillion of people use English like a second language. Globalization of economy, fusion of international companies contribute to the necessity of speak a common language to communicate easier.
2008 was a pivotal year (=une année charniére) in the history of internet because it marks the advent (avénement) of social media. Blogs, social networks, collaborative portals, lifecast ... the number of tools available is everyday more and more important. In this unstable context for traditional media, how brands should do to keep control of their image? What impact social's media having on Australians hostel infrastructure? Finally, does social Media’s development represent an opportunity or a threat for Australian Hostel?
This subject will be the object of the first part of this report. Then I will describe Australia and the region of Western Australia. After that, I will do a presentation of the company Blue Poppy Leisure. Next, I will present you the different tasks that I achieved during my work placement. Finally, I will conclude by an analyze of this internship in Australia.
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Modifié par bridg le 24-08-2010 13:32
+ titre
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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-08-2010 08:04
forum
Réponse: Australie/correction de benboom, postée le 24-08-2010 à 13:23:22 (S | E)
Bonjour!
backpackers are the best places for meet people
Mais qu'est-ce que cela veut dire? Je ne comprends pas.
Et 35 pages! Oh la la la la la la! C'est un travail énorme!
Réponse: Australie/correction de tierchenlili, postée le 24-08-2010 à 14:32:23 (S | E)
If someone wants to travel around France with a not-very-well-lined wallet, it is going to be really tough. Indeed, most of the time, accommodation fees are really high. However, in Australia, you can find a youth hostel which offers accommodation at a cheap price almost everywhere. It is the ideal accommodation for globetrotters or people who do not want to devote an important part of their budget to accommodation. Furthermore, youth hostels are the best place to meet people, share experiences and points of view. It is because of this conviviality that I decided to make my internship in 12:01 east backpacker (si c\'est le nom du camping avec des majuscules), in Perth. After a first internship in a food firm and a fitness center, I decided to do my internship in the tourism sector because I did not know it and this field of activity interested me a lot. Each year, second year students of the Business and Accounting School leave Reunion Island to go in a foreign country, to do an 11-week internship. That is how 49 students went to Europe, Canada, South Africa and Australia. This experience gave us the opportunity to discover a new country and work in a foreign company. I chose Australia and more exactly Perth because I have planned for several years now to live in a foreign country once my studies are over, and Australia attracts me more particularly because of its rate of unemployment: between 4 and 5%. During this internship, my aim goals were to: -Strengthen language skills -Open to a new culture -Acquire a professional experience -Exchange and discover -Improve my English and feel at ease with this language which can prove to be really useful, especially in business. Indeed, English is the fourth most spoken language in the world (after Mandarin, Hindi and Spanish). Yet it is the most used language on earth. Nowadays, 2 trillion of people use English as a second language. The globalization of economy, the fusion of international companies contribute to the necessity of speaking a common language to communicate easier. 2008 was a turning point in the history of the internet because it showed the advent of social media. Blogs, social networks, collaborative portals, lifecast ... the number of tools available is every day more and more important. In this unsteady context for traditional media, how shoud brands act to keep control of their image? What impact do social media have on Australian Hostels\' infrastructures? Finally, dooes social Media’s development represent an opportunity or a threat for Australian Hostels? This will be dealt with in the first part of this report. Then I will describe Australia and the region of Western Australia. After that, I will do a presentation of the company Blue Poppy Leisure. Next, I will present you the different tasks that I achieved during my work placement. Finally, I will conclude by an analysis of this internship in Australia. voilà qui sonne sans doute un peu mieux, mais je ne suis pas native ;p. sinon, pour le côté bancal il me semble qu\'il manque en effet une transition entre le côté auberge de jeunesse (d\'ailleurs est-ce bien à ça que vous faites référence par \"backpackers\" ?) et le côté média. il faut un peu plus amener ce qui constitue par la suite la problématique de votre première partie. je reste néanmoins un peu perplexe sur cette première partie liée aux médias \"non traditionnels\" comme vous dites. les 4 parties suivantes, présentation de la région, puis de l\'entreprise, puis de vos tâches au sein de cette entreprise et enfin votre ressenti final, sont ce que l\'on attend d\'un rapport de stage, bien que le folklore régional peut sembler un peu exotique dans un rapport, mais si ce n\'est pas trop long les correcteurs, ou examinateurs, peuvent apprécier. Comment vous a-t-on demandé de construire votre introduction exactement ? Vos paragraphes sont bons
ah j'ai loupé "my aim goals", c'est l'un ou l'autre, my aims ou my goals
et non pas "to communicate easier" mais to communicate more easily.
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Modifié par webmaster le 27-08-2010 09:55
Merci pour votre entrée sur les forums et de gentiment aider les membres.
Juste une petite chose, s\'il vous plaît Proposer la correction en entier nous dérange un peu, car il n\'y a pas vraiment d\'intérêt pédagogique: le membre va alors recopier sans comprendre.
Nous préférons, dans la mesure du possible, leur indiquer les points à revoir et les moyens de progresser plutôt que de donner directement la solution. Cette démarche nous semble plus formatrice
Réponse: Australie/correction de notrepere, postée le 25-08-2010 à 02:37:20 (S | E)
Hello!If someone wants to travel around France with a not-very-well-lined wallet, it is going to be really tough. Indeed, most of the time, accommodation fees are really high. However, in Australia, you can find a youth hostel which offers accommodation [pluriel] at a cheap price almost everywhere [après le mot 'almost' on dit 'anywhere']. It is the ideal accommodation for globetrotters or people who do not want to devote an important part of their budget to accommodation [pluriel].
Furthermore, youth hostels are the best places [on utilise 'place' avec un nom singulier] to meet people, and to share experiences and points of view. It is because of this conviviality that I decided to make (do) my internship in (at) 12:01 East Backpacker [en majuscules], in Perth. After a first internship in a food firm and a fitness center, I decided to do my internship in the tourism sector because I did not know it and this field of activity interested me a lot.
Each year, second year students of the Business and Accounting School leave Reunion Island to go in (to) a foreign country, [vigule pas nécessaire] to do (for) an 11-week internship. That (This) is how 49 students went (got to go) to Europe, Canada, South Africa and Australia. This experience gave us the opportunity to discover a new country and work in a foreign company.
I chose Perth, Australia
During this internship, my aim goals were to:
-Strengthen [Whose skills? Yours?]language skills
-Open to a new culture
-Acquire a professional experience
-Exchange and discover [What?]
-Improve my English and feel at ease with this language which can prove to be really useful, especially in business.
Indeed, English is the fourth most spoken language in the world (after Mandarin, Hindi and Spanish). Yet it is the most used language on earth. Nowadays, 2 trillion
2008 was a turning point in the history of the internet because it showed the advent of social media. Blogs, social networks, collaborative portals, lifecast ... the number of tools available is every day more and more important. [This sentence should be rewritten. Two ideas are fused together unnaturally. Blogs, portals... are examples of the number of tools currently available. They are becoming more and more important every day.] In this unsteady context
for traditional media, how shoud [orthographe] brands act to keep control of their image [Not the best choice of words]? What impact do [accord] social media have on Australian hostels' infrastructures [pas clair; mieux: 'the infrastructure of Australian hostels']? Finally, do [accord] social media’s development [encore pas clair; 'the development of social media' est mieux represent an opportunity or a threat for Australian Hostels?This will be dealt with in the first part of this report. Then I will describe Australia and the region of Western Australia. After that, I will do a presentation of (on) the company Blue Poppy Leisure. Next, I will present you [pas nécessaire] the different tasks that I achieved [Not the best choice of words] during my work placement. Finally, I will conclude by (with) an analysis of this internship in Australia.
En anglais, on considère 'media' un mot singulier.
One should also guard against creating confusing structures like:
social media's development and Australian hostels' infrastructures.
Cordialement
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Modifié par notrepere le 25-08-2010 08:07
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