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Message de sporadique posté le 28-10-2010 à 11:58:36 (S | E | F)
Good morning,
I wrote an application letter for the Erasmus program, and I would like someone to check if it's proper English. I really tried my best on it, but I'm not very confident. If no one can or wants do it, could you please give me a link to another board where I could be helped with it ?
Thank you in advance,
Sporadique
Here is the letter :
October 28, 2010
Subject : Erasmus Mundus Program
Application
Dear Sir or
Madam,
I’m currently an IT student (second year) at the CSS (NCSS location), and I write this letter for I would greatly appreciate the possibility to do a whole semester in Great Britain. Indeed, I want to take a master’s degree as soon as I graduate next year, probably in France because of ease reasons, and then I am going to do my best to work and live in the United States.
The whole idea is to work at Google Inc., since all that I’ve seen or heard about the Gxxxx, the company culture and their projects is appealing to me.
This is a completely different view of work, employees are given many ways to relax like swimming pools, massage chairs and so on, there is a strong team spirit and the well-known employee-superior relationship that exists in Silicon Valley-based companies.
That’s why a language immersion in an English-speaking country (even if American English is a little bit different) during a few months would be a real help, especially to improve my accent and my spontaneity, mainly for oral expression.
Regarding
my English level, I try as much as possible to watch movies in English without subtitles, and I seek to read less articles in French.
I went to Great Britain when I was 14 during a few days with school, and I really loved it. We visited London of course but we also went to Bath, Christ Church and some other places. Even if I can’t remember all the things I’ve seen, I remember that it was great but really too short. I wish I saw longer the British Museum or the British Library, and I wish we went to north region.
Yours faithfully,
Luciano C.
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Edited by bridg on 28-10-2010 13:06
Mise en forme/forum
Réponse: Application letter - correction needed de lamy, postée le 30-10-2010 à 16:49:57 (S | E)
Bonjour
Dans l'ensemble, c'est très bien. Je me suis permis de faire quelques corrections.
1. au niveau de l'anglais: principalement certains temps, ainsi que les prépositions during/for/since. Evitez aussi les formes courtes, vu que c'est de l'anglais écrit.
2. au niveau de la disposition de la lettre, c'est très bien.
3. au niveau du contenu de cette lettre, et puisqu'il s'agit d'une lettre de motivation, pensez quand même à la terminer en ajoutant 2 choses: l'espoir d'être retenu et des remerciements.
Bonne chance.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am currently an IT student (second year) at the CSS (NCSS location), and I write (mettez la forme progressive) this letter for (usage peu courant) as I would greatly appreciate the possibility to do spend (ou plus simplement : 'I wish I could spend…) a whole semester in Great Britain. Indeed, I want to take a master’s degree as soon as I graduate next year, probably in France because of ease for personal reasons, and then I am going to do my best to work and live in the United States.
The whole idea is to work at Google Inc., since all that I have seen or heard about the Gxxxx, the company culture and their projects is appealing (pourquoi la forme progressive?) to me.
This it is a completely different view (way?) of work,; their employees are given many ways to relax , like swimming pools, massage chairs and so on,. There is a strong team spirit and the a well-known employee-superior relationship, as it is the case that exists in all the Silicon Valley-based companies.
That is why a language immersion in an English-speaking country (even if American English is a little bit different) during for a few months would be a real help, especially to improve my accent and my spontaneity, (
Regarding my English level, I try as much as possible to watch movies in English without subtitles, and
I went to Great Britain during for a few days with my school when I was 14 and I really loved it. We visited London of course but we also went to Bath, Christ Church and some other places. Even if I can’t remember all the things I’ ve seen saw, I remember that it was great but really too short. I wish I saw had seen the British Museum or the British Library for a longer time and I wish we went had been to northern England
Yours faithfully,
Luciano C.
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