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Aide lettre de motivation

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Aide lettre de motivation
Message de nya44 posté le 30-01-2011 à 13:59:03 (S | E | F)
Hello everybody

Je rédige une petite lettre de motivation en anglais pour l'envoyer en Hollande ! Cependant, j'ai des petits doutes quant à ma rédaction, j'ai bien peur que je fasse trop de traduction mot-à-mot, et donc que ma lettre soit du charabia !

Avez-vous des corrections à me suggérer ?

Merci d'avance !

Ma lettre :

Dear Mr.,

I am a student in France in BTS 'Management and Protection of Nature ", option "Management of natural areas”, I have the opportunity to perform a training period during 4 weeks between April and May, in the domain of my choice. I would like have experience coming out of the ordinary, do my internship abroad.

In 1997, a student of my training has incorporated the SRRC, and with the description of his internship, I am extremely motivated to join you, and to participate in various activities that you will offer me.

This will allow me to refine my skills in a first time, and achieve real action in the domain who I am studying since the beginning of year.

I would like really to work with you, as a trainee or volunteer.

Moreover, coming to the Netherlands would make me improve my English and also I will discover a new culture and a new country!

Hoping that you take my request into consideration.

Yours faithfully,

MA SIGNATURE

PS: Please find enclosed my curriculum vitae.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-01-2011 17:10

+ forum



Réponse: Aide lettre de motivation de may, postée le 30-01-2011 à 17:07:17 (S | E)
Bonjour,

J'ai quelques suggestions

Dear Mr., Si vous savez son nom, si non Dear Sir,

I am a student in France in BTS 'Management and Protection of Nature ", option "Management of natural areas”, I have the opportunity to perform a training period during oui, mais une autre prép. sera mieux 4 weeks between April and May, in the domain of my choice. I would like have infinitive experience coming out of the ordinary, do ing form my internship abroad.

In 1997, a student of autre préposition my training/trouver un autre expression has incorporated the SRRC, and with the description of his internship, I am extremely motivated to join you, and to participate in various activities that you will offer me.

This will allow me to refine my skills in a first time, and achieve real action in the domain who I am studying since the beginning of article défini year.

I would like really/placer avant like to work with you, as a trainee or article volunteer.

Moreover, coming to the Netherlands would make me improve my English and also I will discover a new culture and a new country!

Hoping that you take my request into consideration. Thank you very much for your attention.

Yours faithfully,

MA SIGNATURE

PS: Please find enclosed my curriculum vitae.



Réponse: Aide lettre de motivation de headway, postée le 30-01-2011 à 17:16:00 (S | E)
Bonjour,

En complément des remarques de May:
"I am a French student in France in BTS 'Management and Protection of Nature ", option "Management of natural areas”, I have the opportunity to perform/or to go on a 4-week training period between April and May..."

Cordialement.

Headway.



Réponse: Aide lettre de motivation de nya44, postée le 30-01-2011 à 18:07:22 (S | E)
Alors si j'ai bien écouté vos suggestions, le résultat devrait être pas trop mal !

Dear Sir,

I am a French student in HND 'Management and Protection of Nature ", option "Management of natural areas”, I have the opportunity to go on a 4 weeks training period between April and May, in the domain of my choice. I would like to have an experience coming out of the ordinary, doing my internship abroad.

In 1997, a student from the same HND (in the same school) has incorporated the SRRC, and with the description of his internship, I am extremely motivated to join you, and to participate in various activities that you will offer me.

This will allow me to refine my skills in a first time, and achieve real action in the domain who I am studying since the beginning of the year.

I would really like to work with you, as a trainee or a volunteer.

Moreover, coming to the Netherlands would make me improve my English and also I will discover a new culture and a new country!

Thank you very much for your attention.

Yours faithfully,

MA SIGNATURE

PS: Please find enclosed my curriculum vitae.


D'autre part, j'envoie aussi une lettre en Finlande, que pensez-vous de ce paragraphe ? :

Your forest Finnish (je précise car l'organisme en a 14 dans le monde) interest me a lot; first, it has an environnemental richness impressive, and also for the sustainable management that you made for the timber/wood prodution.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-01-2011 21:03



Réponse: Aide lettre de motivation de may, postée le 30-01-2011 à 22:33:58 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

Oui, très bien..

Dear Sir,

I am a French student in HND 'Management and Protection of Nature ", option "Management of natural areas”, I have the opportunity to go on a 4 weeks training period between April and May, in the domain of my choice. I would like to have an experience coming out of the ordinary, doing my internship abroad.

In 1997, a student from the same HND (in the same school) has incorporated the SRRC, and with the description of his internship, I am extremely motivated to join you, and to participate in various activities that you will offer me.

This will allow me to refine my skills in a/ autre prép.+ article défini first time, and achieve /prendre real action in the domain who/autre pronom I am studying/present perfect continuous since the beginning of the year.

I would really like to work with you, as a trainee or a volunteer.

Moreover, coming to the Netherlands would make me improve my English and also I will discover a new culture and a new country!

Thank you very much for your attention.

Yours faithfully,

MA SIGNATURE

PS: Please find enclosed my curriculum vitae.


D'autre part, j'envoie aussi une lettre en Finlande, que pensez-vous de ce paragraphe ? :

Your forest Finnish besoin un nom(je précise car l'organisme en a 14 dans le monde) interest/ temps présent perfect me a lot; first, it has an environnemental richness impressive/ rephrase/ou est le nom , and also for the sustainable management that you made for the timber/wood prodution. pas de sens.

Best wishes,



Réponse: Aide lettre de motivation de nya44, postée le 30-01-2011 à 22:44:31 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup ! Eh bien, toutes ces lettres de motivation m'auront fait réviser mes rudiments d'anglais :D !



Réponse: Aide lettre de motivation de headway, postée le 31-01-2011 à 08:19:27 (S | E)
Bonjour,

a 4weeks training period

Ici, "4-week" est un syntagme adjectival, donc pas de "s" à "week".

Je reviens pour la suite.

Headway.




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