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About minerals
Message from moqaddas posted on 04-08-2011 at 18:28:16 (D | E | F)
Hi,
Could you please correct my essay?
Thanks for your help.
I didn't have much information about minerals;
If anybody can help me to make it better than it is.
===Minerals are the most common solid materials found on earth,these are natural substances found in rocks and soil.Some minerals are valuable and expensive like gold,ruby,emerald,diamond,silver etc. They can be used for making jewellery or our country can earn foreign currency by selling them to the other countries. Minerals are divided into metallic and non-metallic minerals according to their inner structure.Some minerals are metallic such as chromite,copper, and iron etc. and the others are non-metallic such as barite,magnesite,soapstone,gypsum and sulphur etc.
Pakistan has rich deposits of both but it doesn't have means to find,mine,extract and use them.
Minerals can also be classified/divided into major(macro) and trace(minor) minerals according to the amount ,our body needs.Major minerals are those minerals which our body needs in larger amount such as calcium, phosphorus, magnesium, sodium, potassium, chloride and sulphur etc.And trace minerals are those which our body needs just small amount of them.These include iron,copper,zinc,cobalt,iodine,fluoride and selenium etc.
Our foods contain a variety of these minerals such as apple and red meat(beef) are known for containing a wide amount of iron.But the best way to get the prescribed amount of these minerals is to eat a variety of food/we can get these minerals by eating a wide variety of food.
Our body uses minerals for performing different functions like minerals play an active role to build strong bones,make hormones and regulate our normal heartbeat.In short minerals help our body to stay healthy and grow well.
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Edited by lucile83 on 04-08-2011 18:38
We proofread what you write; we don't give any idea.
Message from moqaddas posted on 04-08-2011 at 18:28:16 (D | E | F)
Hi,
Could you please correct my essay?
Thanks for your help.
I didn't have much information about minerals;
If anybody can help me to make it better than it is.
===Minerals are the most common solid materials found on earth,these are natural substances found in rocks and soil.Some minerals are valuable and expensive like gold,ruby,emerald,diamond,silver etc. They can be used for making jewellery or our country can earn foreign currency by selling them to the other countries. Minerals are divided into metallic and non-metallic minerals according to their inner structure.Some minerals are metallic such as chromite,copper, and iron etc. and the others are non-metallic such as barite,magnesite,soapstone,gypsum and sulphur etc.
Pakistan has rich deposits of both but it doesn't have means to find,mine,extract and use them.
Minerals can also be classified/divided into major(macro) and trace(minor) minerals according to the amount ,our body needs.Major minerals are those minerals which our body needs in larger amount such as calcium, phosphorus, magnesium, sodium, potassium, chloride and sulphur etc.And trace minerals are those which our body needs just small amount of them.These include iron,copper,zinc,cobalt,iodine,fluoride and selenium etc.
Our foods contain a variety of these minerals such as apple and red meat(beef) are known for containing a wide amount of iron.But the best way to get the prescribed amount of these minerals is to eat a variety of food/we can get these minerals by eating a wide variety of food.
Our body uses minerals for performing different functions like minerals play an active role to build strong bones,make hormones and regulate our normal heartbeat.In short minerals help our body to stay healthy and grow well.
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 04-08-2011 18:38
We proofread what you write; we don't give any idea.
Re: About minerals from notrepere, posted on 05-08-2011 at 04:01:04 (D | E)
Hello again. Not too bad.Minerals are the most common solid materials found on earth [period] These (1) are natural substances found in rocks and soil. Some minerals are valuable and expensive like (2) gold,ruby, emerald, diamond (3), silver, etc. They can be used for making jewellery or our country can earn foreign currency by selling them to the other countries. Minerals are divided into metallic and non-metallic minerals according to their inner structure. Some minerals are metallic such as chromite, copper, and iron, etc. and the (4) others are non-metallic such as barite, magnesite, soapstone,gypsum and sulphur, etc.
Pakistan has rich deposits of both but it doesn't have means to find, mine, extract and use them.
Minerals can also be classified/divided into major(macro) and trace(minor) minerals according to the amount our body needs. Major minerals are those minerals which our body needs in larger amount (5) such as calcium, phosphorus, magnesium, sodium, potassium, chloride and sulphur etc. And trace minerals are those which our body needs just small amount of them (6). These include iron, copper, zinc, cobalt, iodine, (7) fluoride and selenium etc.
Our foods contain a variety of these minerals[period] such as (8) apples and red meat(beef) are known for containing a wide amount (9) of iron. But the best way to get the prescribed amount of these minerals is to eat a variety of foods/we can get these minerals by eating a wide variety of foods.
Our body uses minerals for performing different functions[period] (8) minerals play an active role to build(10) strong bones, make (11) hormones and regulate (11) our
(1) 'They' sounds better
(2) 'such as' is better - Lien Internet
(3) Use the plural form for gems. Metals like gold, silver, bronze, copper, etc. are usually singular.
(4) Some are this way and others are that way. In other words, delete the "the"
(5) quantities
(6) This needs to be rephrased
(7) There is never a space before punctuation marks in English but always a space after.
(8) You are giving an example: For instance, or For example,
(9) "wide" is used to describe "variety/range/choice". In this instance, you'll want to say "a large/great quantity/amount of"
(10) The correct expression is: to play an active role in + gerund
(11) gerund
Re: About minerals from moqaddas, posted on 05-08-2011 at 18:55:04 (D | E)
Hi,
Thanks a lot for correcting it.
===Minerals are the most common solid materials found on earth.They are natural substances found in rocks and soil.Some minerals are valuable and expensive such as gold,rubies,emeralds,diamonds,silver etc. They can be used for making jewellery or our country can earn foreign currency by selling them to the other countries. Minerals are divided into metallic and non-metallic minerals according to their inner structure.Some minerals are metallic such as chromite,copper, and iron etc. and others are non-metallic such as barite,magnesite,soapstone,gypsum and sulphur etc.
Pakistan has rich deposits of both but it doesn't have means to find,mine,extract and use them.
Minerals can also be classified/divided into major(macro) and trace(minor) minerals according to the amount ,our body needs.Major minerals are those minerals which our body needs in larger quantities such as calcium, phosphorus, magnesium, sodium, potassium, chloride and sulphur etc.And trace minerals are those which our body needs a little quantity of them.These include iron,copper,zinc,cobalt,iodine,fluoride and selenium etc.
Our foods contain a variety of these minerals.For instance apples and red meat(beef) are known for containing a great amount of iron.But the best way to get the prescribed amount of these minerals is to eat a variety of foods/we can get these minerals by eating a wide variety of foods.
Our body uses minerals for performing different functions.For example minerals play an active role in building strong bones,making hormones and regulating our heartbeat.In short minerals help our body to stay healthy and grow well.
I tried my best to follow your instructions but point(7)I couldn't understand still,what do you mean by that(where should be a space? after or before).
Re: About minerals from notrepere, posted on 06-08-2011 at 01:46:55 (D | E)
Hello(7) means never to put a space before punctuation in English: .,!?:; but always put a space after (except $& which tend to come between or before the word)
For instance, (no space before the comma; space after the comma)
iron, copper, zinc, NOT iron,copper,zinc,
Minerals can also be classified/divided into major(macro) and trace(minor) minerals according to the amount
The rest seems OK.
-------------------
Edited by notrepere on 06-08-2011 04:20
Re: About minerals from moqaddas, posted on 06-08-2011 at 21:13:27 (D | E)
Hi,
===Minerals are the most common solid materials found on earth.They are natural substances found in rocks and soil.Some minerals are valuable and expensive such as gold,rubies,emeralds,diamonds,silver etc. They can be used for making jewellery or our country can earn foreign currency by selling them to the other countries. Minerals are divided into metallic and non-metallic minerals according to their inner structure.Some minerals are metallic such as chromite,copper, and iron etc. and others are non-metallic such as barite, magnesite, soapstone, gypsum and sulphur etc.
Pakistan has rich deposits of both but it doesn't have means to find,mine,extract and use them.
Minerals can also be classified/divided into major(macro) and trace(minor) minerals according to the amount ,our body needs.Major minerals are those minerals which our body needs in larger quantities such as calcium, phosphorus, magnesium, sodium, potassium, chloride and sulphur etc.And trace minerals are those which our body needs in small quantities.These include iron, copper, zinc, cobalt, iodine, fluoride and selenium etc.
Our foods contain a variety of these minerals.For instance apples and red meat(beef) are known for containing a great amount of iron.But the best way to get the prescribed amount of these minerals is to eat a variety of foods/we can get these minerals by eating a wide variety of foods.
Our body uses minerals for performing different functions.For example minerals play an active role in building strong bones,making hormones and regulating our heartbeat.In short minerals help our body to stay healthy and grow well.
Thanks for all that.
===Regards===
Re: About minerals from notrepere, posted on 07-08-2011 at 16:19:28 (D | E)
HelloPunctuation! You need to insert a space after a period (full stop) and a comma. You should insert a comma after expressions such as "For example" or "For instance". Delete the comma before "our body needs". The rest is OK.
Re: About minerals from moqaddas, posted on 07-08-2011 at 18:15:28 (D | E)
Hi,
Is it completely okay now?
===Minerals are the most common solid materials found on earth. They are natural substances found in rocks and soil. Some minerals are valuable and expensive such as gold, rubies, emeralds, diamonds, silver etc. They can be used for making jewellery or our country can earn foreign currency by selling them to the other countries.
Minerals are divided into metallic and non-metallic minerals according to their inner structure. Some minerals are metallic such as chromite, copper, and iron etc. and others are non-metallic such as barite, magnesite, soapstone, gypsum and sulphur etc.
Pakistan has rich deposits of both but it doesn't have means to find, mine, extract and use them.
Minerals can also be classified/divided into major(macro) and trace(minor) minerals according to the amount our body needs. Major minerals are those minerals which our body needs in larger quantities such as calcium, phosphorus, magnesium, sodium, potassium, chloride and sulphur etc. And trace minerals are those which our body needs in small quantities. These include iron, copper, zinc, cobalt, iodine, fluoride and selenium etc.
Our foods contain a variety of these minerals. For instance, apples and red meat(beef) are known for containing a great amount of iron. But the best way to get the prescribed amount of these minerals is to eat a variety of foods/we can get these minerals by eating a wide variety of foods.
Our body uses minerals for performing different functions. For example, minerals play an active role in building strong bones, making hormones and regulating our heartbeat. In short minerals help our body to stay healthy and grow well.
Re: About minerals from notrepere, posted on 07-08-2011 at 19:40:50 (D | E)
Yes, it looks good now.
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