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Correction/lettre de motivation
Message de wayki posté le 28-11-2011 à 15:50:58 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai écrit une lettre de motivation et j'aimerais avoir quelques corrections sur les mots utilisés, les phrases et expressions...
Je voudrais un avis également sur la pertinence de la lettre.
J'ai un mauvais niveau en anglais et je ne me sens pas très à l'aise avec les lettres de motivation en général. Du coup je ne suis pas du tout sûr de ce que j'ai écrit.
Merci de m'aider.
Dear Madam or Sir,
Currently an undergraduate student in the third year of Food Industries and Biological Engineering in France, I have the opportunity to make a training course of five months abroad. The activities of analysis exercised in your laboratory suit to my school formation, it is for what I am very interesting to spend a training course in your laboratory from July till November, 2012.
I have already made the training courses in research laboratories and Industrial laboratories in France and Congo, what allowed me to developer of very high qualities such as the autonomy, the rigor and the management of the projects.
My experience of the microbiological, biochemical and physicochemical analyses in laboratories could be useful for you. And in return, you will offer me a big professional experience, an opportunity to improve my English level and to discover a new culture.
I am dynamic, ambitious, motivated and very invested in the work. It is qualities which I shall wish to put in the service of your laboratory.
I thank you in advance for your consideration of my enthusiasm to work within your team and I am very much looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
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Modifié par lucile83 le 28-11-2011 18:35
Message de wayki posté le 28-11-2011 à 15:50:58 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai écrit une lettre de motivation et j'aimerais avoir quelques corrections sur les mots utilisés, les phrases et expressions...
Je voudrais un avis également sur la pertinence de la lettre.
J'ai un mauvais niveau en anglais et je ne me sens pas très à l'aise avec les lettres de motivation en général. Du coup je ne suis pas du tout sûr de ce que j'ai écrit.
Merci de m'aider.
Dear Madam or Sir,
Currently an undergraduate student in the third year of Food Industries and Biological Engineering in France, I have the opportunity to make a training course of five months abroad. The activities of analysis exercised in your laboratory suit to my school formation, it is for what I am very interesting to spend a training course in your laboratory from July till November, 2012.
I have already made the training courses in research laboratories and Industrial laboratories in France and Congo, what allowed me to developer of very high qualities such as the autonomy, the rigor and the management of the projects.
My experience of the microbiological, biochemical and physicochemical analyses in laboratories could be useful for you. And in return, you will offer me a big professional experience, an opportunity to improve my English level and to discover a new culture.
I am dynamic, ambitious, motivated and very invested in the work. It is qualities which I shall wish to put in the service of your laboratory.
I thank you in advance for your consideration of my enthusiasm to work within your team and I am very much looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-11-2011 18:35
Réponse: Correction/lettre de motivation de gerondif, postée le 28-11-2011 à 16:54:16 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Dear Madam or Sir,
Currently an undergraduate student in the third year of Food Industries and Biological Engineering in France, I have the opportunity to make (take?) a training course of five months abroad. The activities of analysis exercised in your laboratory suit to my school formation, it is for what I am very interesting to (mot-à-mot, ne veut rien dire)spend a training course in your laboratory from July till November, 2012.
I have already made the training courses in research laboratories and Industrial laboratories in France and Congo, what(ce qui, pas ce que) allowed me to developer of very high qualities such as the autonomy, the rigor and the management of the projects.
My experience of the microbiological, biochemical and physicochemical analyses in laboratories could be useful for you. And in return, you will offer me a big professional experience, an opportunity to improve my English level and to discover a new culture.
I am dynamic, ambitious, motivated and very invested in the work. It is (pluriel)qualities which I shall wish (pompeux)to put in the service of (maladroit)your laboratory.
I thank you in advance for your consideration of my enthusiasm (drôle de choix de mot ici) to work within your team and I am very much looking forward to hearing from you.
Réponse: Correction/lettre de motivation de wayki, postée le 28-11-2011 à 17:01:20 (S | E)
merci beaucoup je vais tenir compte de tes précieuses remarques!!
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