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Correction/lettre Erasmus

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Correction/lettre Erasmus
Message de nomi posté le 05-02-2012 à 12:04:14 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

Je suis étudiante en architecture, j'aimerais partir en Erasmus pendant un an dans l'université de New Castle en Angleterre.
Voici ma lettre de motivation rédigée en anglais.
Merci de me donner votre avis, de me corriger et ne pas hésiter à me dire où il y a des incohérences.
Mon anglais est loin dtre de bonne qualité alors n'hésitez pas, je veux justement partir pour l'améliorer. Merci pour votre aide.

Dear Madam,

After having studed in Architecture School of Nantes, my transfert in Architecture School of Paris-Malaquais have contributed to my open-minded and have induced myself to studded one year in abroad. The opportunities which offered to the students concerning studying abroad, are large in Architecture School of Paris-Malaquais. Presently a third year student in the architecture school, I decided to fill in an application for mobility in University of New Castle in England, in the Erasmus program. Highly interested, I propose to you to examine my candidature.
To have the occasion to study abroad for a year represent for me an enormous opportunity. This year in England should be the possibility to discover the English culture and to learn about me through this experience It will be an extraordinary chance for me to improve my English and become bilingual. Moreover, this opportunity to live one year in England will enable me to open my mind. I think that a year abroad would be a personal experiment without any doubt very enriching. This experience will be a real immersion in a other country, and the possibility of discover of others cultures.
England is a country which attracts me, due to its history, its culture, its geographical situation, but also the mentality of people who live there: England is cosmopolite, where people of different horizons meet. I study English since the school, and I realized that the best way to master a language was to go in a country to communicate with the inhabitants, and to be confronted with their way of life, as well as their traditions and their culture.
I am very interested in spending time in an English university in order to progress in my English language. It might be beneficial to improve my spoken English comprehension and my ability to communicate with English speakers that may be essential for my integration into professional life. Studing abroad for a year represents for me a great opportunity to practice my English and to develop a capacity of communicate. To my mind, this is indispensable qualities for my future studies and work in architecture.
Besides, I have a keen interest in past one year in University of New Castle. I think it’s important for me to diversify our studies and to experiment another system. The system of campus is a different way of student life. The universities include many courses of study and enable to intermingle students which have different horizons. NewCastle enjoys the many free cultural events and attractions, including an art gallery, displaying a permanent collection of artworks. Moreover, It would allow me of be totally immersed in England culture and of beneficiate to the diversity in the campus.
Consequently, a year spent abroad allows me to acquire a bigger maturity through a different living environment and to discover by the same way another vision of architecture schools’ studies.

Yours faithfully,
N

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Modifié par lucile83 le 05-02-2012 12:09
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