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Article/help

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Article/help
Message from ahmad1100a posted on 18-12-2012 at 15:59:42 (D | E | F)
Hello

Could you check my article please, and tell me what's wrong?
Thanks for your help.


My invention
This article is to describe my invention. My invention is AK1. AK1 is a new type of computer. AK1 has two processor which make it stronger. Therefore, AK1 is stronger than normal computer. AK1 has two screens. In addition, one screen is in the back of the computer and anther one is in the front of the computer. AK1 has touch screen which make it easier. AK1 made from rubbers which make it stronger and not easy to break .AK1 has a camera with 30 megapixels. The price of AK1 will be about 15,000 SR.

-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 18-12-2012 22:11


Re: Article/help from dolfine56, posted on 18-12-2012 at 17:15:40 (D | E)
Hello,

My invention
This article is to describe my invention. My invention is AK1. AK1 is a new type of computer. AK1 has two processor--pluriel which make it stronger. Therefore, AK1 is stronger than normal computer. AK1 has two screens. In addition, one screen is in the back of the computer and anther--an other or another one one is in the front of the computer. AK1 has touch screen which makes if only one it easier. AK1 made from rubbers which make it stronger and not easy to break .AK1 has a camera with 30 megapixels. The price of AK1 will be about 15,000 SR.



Re: Article/help from notrepere, posted on 18-12-2012 at 17:45:28 (D | E)
Hello

You don't need to repeat AK1 every time. You can just say "it".

This article is to describe my invention (I've written this article ...). My invention is called "AK1". AK1 It is a new type of computer. ...is stronger than a normal computer. ... computer and anther another one is in the front of the computer. ... has a touch screen which makes it easier. AK1 is made from rubbers which makes it stronger and not easy to break .




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