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Expression écrite/aide
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Message de kevcar posté le 31-12-2013 à 14:00:32 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
peut on Pouvez-vous s'il vous plait corriger mon expression écrite?
Voici le sujet: Imagine Daphne came back to Merle's house when she was absent . She touched the venus flag trap but it didn't close, it bit Daphne; what happened next? what was dDaphne's reaction (10 et 15 lignes )
surprise by the bite of the plant venus , daphne looked at his hand and saw blood.
she turned pale and began to tremble.
daphne telephoned to merle and asked him to come to his secour
merle heard the panic daphne
she asks him to calm down and sit on the armchair awaiting his arrival
merle arrived and found that staring at the daphne plant
- what happened? what did you do to my plant?
-what !!! is your plant that has bitten me . it's dangerous must kill!!!
- stopped to say stupid things , I will take care of you .doesn't touch the plant
-it's not inoffensive!!
-the plant had never bitten anyone, she does not like you!!!
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Modifié par lucile83 le 31-12-2013 14:08
Message de kevcar posté le 31-12-2013 à 14:00:32 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
Voici le sujet: Imagine Daphne came back to Merle's house when she was absent . She touched the venus flag trap but it didn't close, it bit Daphne; what happened next? what was dDaphne's reaction (10 et 15 lignes )
surprise by the bite of the plant venus , daphne looked at his hand and saw blood.
she turned pale and began to tremble.
daphne telephoned to merle and asked him to come to his secour
merle heard the panic daphne
she asks him to calm down and sit on the armchair awaiting his arrival
merle arrived and found that staring at the daphne plant
- what happened? what did you do to my plant?
-what !!! is your plant that has bitten me . it's dangerous must kill!!!
- stopped to say stupid things , I will take care of you .doesn't touch the plant
-it's not inoffensive!!
-the plant had never bitten anyone, she does not like you!!!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 31-12-2013 14:08
Réponse: Expression écrite/aide de carr30, postée le 31-12-2013 à 15:06:29 (S | E)
Hello
I've marked the problems
surprise (needs past participle) by the bite of the plant venus (it's a venus fly trap) , daphne looked at his (possessive pronouns agree with the possessor) hand and saw blood.
she turned pale and began to tremble.
daphne telephoned
merle heard the panic (preposition missing here) daphne
she (He) asks him (her ) to calm down and sit on the armchair
merle arrived and found that (her) staring at the daphne plant (it is not a daphne plant!)
- what happened? what did you do to my plant?
-what !!! it is your plant that has bitten me . it's dangerous must kill!!!..who must kill what?
- stopped to say Stop saying stupid things , I will take care of you .do
-it's not inoffensive 'safe' sounds better!!
-the plant has never bitten anyone before , she does not like you!!!
Réponse: Expression écrite/aide de kevcar, postée le 31-12-2013 à 16:40:03 (S | E)
Merci pour ta correction
J ai fait beaucoup de fautes!!!!
Réponse: Expression écrite/aide de carr30, postée le 31-12-2013 à 17:08:52 (S | E)
Courage...la plupart étaient bonnes!
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