Correction/Welcome to America

Correction/Welcome to America
Message de lili97kat posté le 14-01-2014 à 15:33:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger mes deux textes, s'il vous plaît?

First, the titles of the articles are « A nation of immigrants » and « Welcome to All ! » published on the end of 19th century. We can suppose that these article focuse an the notion of immigration.
Then, the document 1 is a text, more precisely a Emma Lazarus' poem which is engraved on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty. The poem says to give America the poor and that he guide them toward the golden door. We can understand that America want to help them and that he will welcome them. Moreover, there is an other text and a photograph where we learn that foreigners are examined by a doctor and accepted or not in America.
Next, the document 2 is a photograph. In a harbor, we can see five men who seem to intercept a man who disembark with bags and blanket like a lost.
So, to conclude, these 2 documents can link well the notion of immigration in America because we can see foreigners who arrive in America.

In the photograph, we can see five mens well dressed in a harbor. with under each them, their shadow where they look tired and poor. We notice also who disembark on the harbor, with his bag.
One of man's five get in touch with him to stop.
In my opinion, the five shadows show what they were before in America. We can see their evolution through their shadows, they seem now more distinguished.
I think that the artist's intent is to show that America is open for everybody and that this country helped them bloom on their life.
Nevertheless, it looks like the mans prevent the man who disembark to het through, perhaps is that due to too much immigration.

Merci d'avance.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-01-2014 21:50

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Réponse: Correction/Welcome to America de lili97kat, postée le 25-01-2014 à 10:14:11 (S | E)
Personne?

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Réponse: Correction/Welcome to America de bluestar, postée le 25-01-2014 à 15:18:55 (S | E)
Bonjour...

Je n'ai pas compris tout votre texte, donc j'ai fait quelques conjectures quant à votre sens. Sans la photo, il est difficile d'être sûr.

First, the titles of the articles are « A Nnation of Iimmigrants » and « Welcome to All ! » published on the end of 19th century. We can suppose that these article(pluriel) focused an the notion of immigration.
Then, the document 1 is a text, more precisely a (an devant une voyelle) Emma Lazarus' poem which is engraved on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty. The poem says to give America the poor and that he (un pays est généralement 'she') guide (futur necessaire ici) them toward the golden door. We can understand that America want (accorde) to help them and that he she will welcome them. Moreover, there is an other (another - un mot) text and a photograph where we learn that foreigners are examined by a doctor and either accepted or not in America.
Next, the document 2 is a photograph. In a harbor, we can see five men who seem to intercept a man who disembark (accorde) with bags and blanket like a lost(il manque le nom)
So, to conclude, these 2 documents can link well ('show', 'highlight', 'portray', serait mieux ici) the notion of immigration in America because we can see foreigners who arrive in America.

In the photograph, we can see five mens (man - singulier; men - pluriel) well dressed in a harbor. with under each them, their shadow (pluriel) where they look tired and poor. We notice also (objet - a man?) who disembark (accorde) on the harbor, with his bag.
One of man's five men get(accorde) in touch with him to stop.
In my opinion, the five shadows show what they were before in America. We can see their evolution through their shadows, they seem now more distinguished.
I think that the artist's intent is to show that America is open for everybody and that this country helped them bloom (utiliser un verbe différent comme 'succeed') on in their life (pluriel).
Nevertheless, it looks like the mans prevent the man who disembark (accorde) to het through, perhaps that is due to too much immigration.

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Réponse: Correction/Welcome to America de sherry48, postée le 25-01-2014 à 15:34:35 (S | E)
Hello.

I have indicated the most significant errors.

First, the titles of the articles are « A nation of immigrants » and « Welcome to All ! » published on the end of ___ 19th century. We can suppose that these article__ focuse an the notion of immigration.
Then, the document 1 is a text, more precisely a Emma Lazarus'[Emma Lazarus' poem without an article, or use the article without the possessive] poem which is engraved on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty. The poem says to give America the poor and that he guide them toward the golden door. We can understand that America want to help them and that he will welcome them. Moreover, there is an other text and a photograph where we learn that foreigners are examined by a doctor and accepted or not in America. [Perhaps...may be accepted after examination?]
Next, the document 2 is a photograph. In a harbor, we can see five men who seem to intercept a man who disembarking with bags and ___blanket [if singular] like a lost. [lost is an adjective]
So, to conclude, these 2 documents can link well the notion of immigration in America because we can see foreigners who arrive [form ending in -ing would go well here] in America.

In the photograph, we can see five mens well dressed in a harbor. with under (behind?) each them, their shadow [with their shadow] where they look tired and poor. We notice also _______ who disembark on the harbor, with his bag.
One of man's five get in touch [I don't think you mean stay in contact] with him to stop.
In my opinion, the five shadows show what they were before in [you could use the verb come and a preposition] America. We can see their evolution through their shadows, they seem now more distinguished.
I think that the artist's intent is to show that America is open for/to everybody and that this country helped them bloom on their life.
Nevertheless, it looks like the mans prevent the man who disembark to het through, perhaps is that due to too much immigration.
Sherry

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Réponse: Correction/Welcome to America de lili97kat, postée le 25-01-2014 à 17:51:39 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Merci de vos réponses! Je les ai corrigées.

First, the titles of the articles are « A Nation of Immigrants » and « Welcome to All ! » published at the end of 19th century. We can suppose that these articles focused on the notion of immigration.
Then, document 1 is a text, more precisely an Emma Lazarus poem which is engraved on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty. The poem says to give America the poor and that she will guide them toward the golden door. We can understand that America wants to help them and she will welcome them. Moreover, there is another text and a photograph where we learn that foreigners are examined by a doctor and accepted or not in America.
Next, document 2 is a photograph. In a harbour, we can see five men who seem to intercept a man disembarking with bags and a blanket like a man lost.
So, to conclude, these 2 documents can portray the notion of immigration in America because we can see foreigners arriving in America.

In the photograph, we can see five men elegants in a harbour. With behind each them, their shadows where they look tired and poor. We notice also a man disembarking at the harbour, with his bag.
One of five men make a sign him to stop.
In my opinion, the five shadows show what they were before come at America. We can see their evolution through their shadows, they seem now more distinguished.
I think that the artist's intent is to show that America is open for everybody and that this country helped them succeed in their lifes.
Nevertheless, it looks like the men prevent the man disembarking to get through, perhaps that is due to too much immigration.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-01-2014 18:30

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Réponse: Correction/Welcome to America de bluestar, postée le 25-01-2014 à 20:27:20 (S | E)
Bonsoir..

First, the titles of the articles are « A Nation of Immigrants » and « Welcome to All ! » published at the end of 19th century. We can suppose that these articles focused on the notion of immigration.
Then, document 1 is a text, more precisely an Emma Lazarus poem which is engraved on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty. The poem says to give America the poor and that she will guide them toward the golden door. We can understand that America wants to help them and she will welcome them. Moreover, there is another text and a photograph where we learn that foreigners are examined by a doctor and accepted or not in America. (maladroit, 'accepted into America or rejected')
Next, document 2 is a photograph. In a harbour, we can see five men who seem to intercept a man disembarking with bags and a blanket like a man lost.
So, to conclude, these 2 documents can portray the notion of immigration in America because we can see foreigners arriving in America.

In the photograph, we can see five men elegants (adjectifs avant les noms en anglais. Aussi adjectifs sont invariables, donc pas besoin d'un s pour indiquer pluriel) in a harbour. With behind each them, their shadows where they look tired and poor. (Pas de verbe dans cette phrase. Il serait préférable d'écrire "we see behind each..." etc) We notice also a man disembarking at the harbour, with his bag.
One of the five men make(accorde - singulier) a sign to him to stop.
In my opinion, the five shadows show what they were before come at (il faut la forme "-ing" du verbe avec une préposition différente) America. We can see their evolution through their shadows, they seem now more distinguished.
I think that the artist's intent is to show that America is open for everybody and that this country helped them succeed in their lifes.
Nevertheless, it looks like the men prevent the man disembarking to get through, perhaps that is due to too much immigration.

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Réponse: Correction/Welcome to America de lili97kat, postée le 26-01-2014 à 09:36:04 (S | E)
Bonjour

First, the titles of the articles are « A Nation of Immigrants » and « Welcome to All ! » published at the end of 19th century. We can suppose that these articles focused on the notion of immigration.
Then, document 1 is a text, more precisely an Emma Lazarus poem which is engraved on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty. The poem says to give America the poor and that she will guide them toward the golden door. We can understand that America wants to help them and she will welcome them. Moreover, there is another text and a photograph where we learn that foreigners are examined by a doctor and accepted into America or rejected.
Next, document 2 is a photograph. In a harbour, we can see five men who seem to intercept a man disembarking with bags and a blanket like a man lost.
So, to conclude, these 2 documents can portray the notion of immigration in America because we can see foreigners arriving in America.

In the photograph, we can see five elegant men in a harbour. We see be behind each them, their shadows where they look tired and poor. We notice also a man disembarking at the harbour, with his bag.
One of the five men makes a sign to him to stop.
In my opinion, the five shadows show what they were before coming in America. We can see their evolution through their shadows, they seem now more distinguished.
I think that the artist's intent is to show that America is open for everybody and that this country helped them succeed in their lifes.
Nevertheless, it looks like the men prevent the man disembarking to get through, perhaps that is due to too much immigration.

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Réponse: Correction/Welcome to America de bluestar, postée le 26-01-2014 à 10:00:58 (S | E)
Hello..

We see be behind each them, their shadows where they look tired and poor. We notice also a man disembarking at the harbour, with his bag.
One of the five men makes a sign to him to stop.
In my opinion, the five shadows show what they were before coming in America. We can see their evolution through their shadows, they seem now more distinguished.
I think that the artist's intent is to show that America is open for everybody and that this country helped them succeed in their lifes. lives.
Nevertheless, it looks like the men prevent the man disembarking to get through; perhaps that is due to too much immigration.

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Réponse: Correction/Welcome to America de lili97kat, postée le 26-01-2014 à 10:27:25 (S | E)
Fautes d'inattentions . Thank you.

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