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Correction /Analyse cartoon
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Message de nayah posté le 08-04-2014 à 14:19:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Je dois préparer un oral en anglais et j'ai choisi de parler des violences domestiques faites aux femmes en Grande-Bretagne. Pour cela, il fallait choisir un dessin (avant 1950) et un texte (après 2000) afin de les comparer pour observer l'évolution de la situation.
J'ai donc choisi ce carton : Lien internet
que j'ai essayé d'analyser mais j'aimerais bien avoir une première correction et des suggestions sur la forme s'il vous plaît.
Merci pour votre aide.
The cartoon :
Let’s start with the picture. So, I have chosen a cartoon drawn by Ronald Niebour and published in the Daily Mail on September 21st, 1948. The caption reads: "You may think me a brute doctor - but I was only demonstrating a match-winning wallop that Woodcock should use". [Wallop is an informal word which means “hard blow” and Woodcock was actually Bruce Woodcock, an English heavyweight boxer]. As you can see, the man has just hit his wife who is still stunned/dazed on the floor because of the violence of the blow. You can also see a doctor who is checking the woman’s pulse. In order to justify his violent conduct, the man pretends he was showing a match-winning blow to his wife and “unfortunately” he punched his wife in the face. [As for the doctor’s reaction, he doesn’t seem to be shocked or upset by the situation…]. The aim of this cartoon is to highlight the domestic violence issue and the shameful behaviour of perpetrator but also the disregard of other people toward victims of domestic violence.
You have to know that, in the 1950’s British women were still seen as men’s property. Laws relating to marriage were often unfair to women. In fact, many women suffered domestic violence but sentences for men were usually very light. Moreover, when a marriage broke down, it was generally assumed that the woman was to blame. At that time domestic violence was not a crime, it was regarded as “the only way to regulate the behavior of women”. There were were no domestic violence shelters, no awareness-raising campaign and even worse, there were advertisements using domestic violence have that essentially condone violence against women.
J'en profite également pour proposer ma conclusion pour d'éventuelles corrections s'il vous plait.
Conclusion :
Nowadays, many forms of domestic violence are crimes (for example, harassment, assault, rape) and and are subject to criminal sanctions such as imprisonment. Nevertheless, despite all the measures taken in order to reduce domestic violence (laws, awareness campaigns, helplines or organisations and shelters for domestic violence victims), this issue is still at the heart of our concerns today. Unfortunately, the UK is not spared from this horrible plague.
The real question is: there is any significant change since the 1950’s? I don’t think so and it is a real shame.
Message de nayah posté le 08-04-2014 à 14:19:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Je dois préparer un oral en anglais et j'ai choisi de parler des violences domestiques faites aux femmes en Grande-Bretagne. Pour cela, il fallait choisir un dessin (avant 1950) et un texte (après 2000) afin de les comparer pour observer l'évolution de la situation.
J'ai donc choisi ce carton : Lien internet
que j'ai essayé d'analyser mais j'aimerais bien avoir une première correction et des suggestions sur la forme s'il vous plaît.
Merci pour votre aide.
The cartoon :
Let’s start with the picture. So, I have chosen a cartoon drawn by Ronald Niebour and published in the Daily Mail on September 21st, 1948. The caption reads: "You may think me a brute doctor - but I was only demonstrating a match-winning wallop that Woodcock should use". [Wallop is an informal word which means “hard blow” and Woodcock was actually Bruce Woodcock, an English heavyweight boxer]. As you can see, the man has just hit his wife who is still stunned/dazed on the floor because of the violence of the blow. You can also see a doctor who is checking the woman’s pulse. In order to justify his violent conduct, the man pretends he was showing a match-winning blow to his wife and “unfortunately” he punched his wife in the face. [As for the doctor’s reaction, he doesn’t seem to be shocked or upset by the situation…]. The aim of this cartoon is to highlight the domestic violence issue and the shameful behaviour of perpetrator but also the disregard of other people toward victims of domestic violence.
You have to know that, in the 1950’s British women were still seen as men’s property. Laws relating to marriage were often unfair to women. In fact, many women suffered domestic violence but sentences for men were usually very light. Moreover, when a marriage broke down, it was generally assumed that the woman was to blame. At that time domestic violence was not a crime, it was regarded as “the only way to regulate the behavior of women”. There were were no domestic violence shelters, no awareness-raising campaign and even worse, there were advertisements using domestic violence have that essentially condone violence against women.
J'en profite également pour proposer ma conclusion pour d'éventuelles corrections s'il vous plait.
Conclusion :
Nowadays, many forms of domestic violence are crimes (for example, harassment, assault, rape) and and are subject to criminal sanctions such as imprisonment. Nevertheless, despite all the measures taken in order to reduce domestic violence (laws, awareness campaigns, helplines or organisations and shelters for domestic violence victims), this issue is still at the heart of our concerns today. Unfortunately, the UK is not spared from this horrible plague.
The real question is: there is any significant change since the 1950’s? I don’t think so and it is a real shame.
Réponse: Correction /Analyse cartoon de gerondif, postée le 08-04-2014 à 19:31:47 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
je vois peu d'erreurs !
The cartoon :
Let’s start with the picture. So, I have chosen a cartoon drawn by Ronald Niebour and published in the Daily Mail on September 21st, 1948. The caption reads: "You may think me a brute doctor - but I was only demonstrating a match-winning wallop that Woodcock should use". [Wallop is an informal word which means “hard blow” and Woodcock was actually Bruce Woodcock, an English heavyweight boxer]. As you can see, the man has just hit his wife who is still stunned/dazed on the floor because of the violence of the blow. You can also see a doctor who is checking the woman’s pulse. In order to justify his violent conduct, the man pretends he was showing a match-winning blow to his wife and “unfortunately” he punched his wife (by accident) in the face. [As for the doctor’s reaction, he doesn’t seem to be shocked or upset by the situation…]. The aim of this cartoon is to highlight the domestic violence issue and the shameful behaviour of the perpetrator but also the disregard of other people toward victims of domestic violence.
You have to know that, in the 1950’s British women were still seen as men’s property. Laws relating to marriage were often unfair to women. In fact, many women suffered domestic violence but sentences for men were usually very light. Moreover, when a marriage broke down, it was generally assumed that the woman was to blame. At that time, domestic violence was not a crime, it was regarded as “the only way to regulate the behavior of women”. There were no domestic violence shelters, no awareness-raising campaign and even worse, there were advertisements using domestic violence
Conclusion :
Nowadays, many forms of domestic violence are crimes (for example, harassment, assault, rape) and and are subject to criminal sanctions such as imprisonment. Nevertheless, despite all the measures taken in order to reduce domestic violence (laws, awareness campaigns, helplines or organisations and shelters for domestic violence victims), this issue is still at the heart of our concerns today. Unfortunately, the UK is not spared
double click sur spare donne: spare [sb] [sth] v expr (not impose [sth] on [sb]) épargner qch à qqn
The real question is: Is there any significant change since the 1950’s?(ah le piège en plus!! avec since, il faut un present perfect!!!) I don’t think so and it is a real shame.
Réponse: Correction /Analyse cartoon de nayah, postée le 08-04-2014 à 22:01:11 (S | E)
Merci pour ces corrections. Je vais retravailler l'emploi du "since" je crois bien!
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