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Brazilian prisons/correction
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Message de eliseclerget posté le 11-09-2014 à 22:25:48 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
pourriez-voussvp s'il vous plaît corriger ce texte, me dire si vous y voyez des fautes ou des améliorations que je pourrais apporter 
Merci d'avance.
Brazilian prisons
Brazilian prisoners are offered a chance to get out of prison few days earlier for each classic novel that they read.
To read or not to read ?
Brazilian inmates can get 4 days off their sentence for each classic novel they read with a maximum of 12 books per year.
Let’s go behind the bars to have a closer look on this new measure, in a 4 maximum security jail close to Argentina, with about 100 convicts among the most dangerous in Brazil :
The prisoners here are awarded 4 days off their sentence for each book they read. An habit - reader, called Paolo Cesar ( ex drug dealer) used to read when he was a child. But as he has nothing to do all day long, he reads as it is the only thing to do in his cell. He finds the measure very helpful because he can learn, get some more knowledge. His favourite novel is : Crime and Punishment by Dostoïevski.
After having reading the books, the inmates have to write a critique which will be assess by the head of the rehabilitation program. She explains that she is really impressed by the results because the books that are proposed are requiring a high level of understanding of litterature.
Reading the books make the life easier as the regime in Brazilian prisons is very tough : for example, the prisoners are allowed to be out of their cell only 2 hours a day. The main aim for them is to leave this place, and the government help them to go out by this way and also to learn something new.
And a good book provides a great escape from the hard reality of life for these inmates.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 11-09-2014 22:44
Message de eliseclerget posté le 11-09-2014 à 22:25:48 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
pourriez-vous
Merci d'avance.
Brazilian prisons
Brazilian prisoners are offered a chance to get out of prison few days earlier for each classic novel that they read.
To read or not to read ?
Brazilian inmates can get 4 days off their sentence for each classic novel they read with a maximum of 12 books per year.
Let’s go behind the bars to have a closer look on this new measure, in a 4 maximum security jail close to Argentina, with about 100 convicts among the most dangerous in Brazil :
The prisoners here are awarded 4 days off their sentence for each book they read. An habit - reader, called Paolo Cesar ( ex drug dealer) used to read when he was a child. But as he has nothing to do all day long, he reads as it is the only thing to do in his cell. He finds the measure very helpful because he can learn, get some more knowledge. His favourite novel is : Crime and Punishment by Dostoïevski.
After having reading the books, the inmates have to write a critique which will be assess by the head of the rehabilitation program. She explains that she is really impressed by the results because the books that are proposed are requiring a high level of understanding of litterature.
Reading the books make the life easier as the regime in Brazilian prisons is very tough : for example, the prisoners are allowed to be out of their cell only 2 hours a day. The main aim for them is to leave this place, and the government help them to go out by this way and also to learn something new.
And a good book provides a great escape from the hard reality of life for these inmates.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 11-09-2014 22:44
Réponse: Brazilian prisons/correction de here4u, postée le 12-09-2014 à 08:43:05 (S | E)
Hello
Brazilian prisons
Brazilian prisoners are offered a chance to get out of prison X few days earlier for each classic novel that they read.
To read or not to read ?
Brazilian inmates can get 4 days off their sentence for each classic novel they read with a maximum of 12 books per year.
Let’s go behind the bars to have a closer look on this new measure, in a 4 maximum security jail close to Argentina, with about 100 convicts among the most dangerous XXXX in Brazil :
The prisoners here are awarded 4 days off their sentence for each book they read. An habit - reader, called Paolo Cesar ( ex drug dealer) used to read when he was a child. But as he has nothing to do all day long, he reads as it is the only thing to do in his cell. He finds the measure very helpful because he can learn, get some more knowledge. His favourite novel is : Crime and Punishment by Dostoïevski.
After having reading the books, the inmates have to write a critique which will be assess by the head of the rehabilitation program. She explains that she is really impressed by the results because the books that are proposed are requiring a high level of understanding of litterature.
Reading the books make the life XXXXXXXXXX(pour mieux justifier le déterminant)easier as the regime in Brazilian prisons is very tough : for example, the prisoners are allowed to be out of their cell only 2 hours a day. The main aim for them is to leave this place, and the government help them (to) go out by(bofffff) this way and also to learn something new.
And a good book provides a great escape from the hard reality of life for these inmates.
Not bad at all; Do you always have to describe the phenomenon without trying to analyse and criticise it ? Being in a 'carrot (and stick)' process, I would examine the advantages and possible 'drifts' and cheating which are inevitable ... Teachers will be teachers !
Hope it helped !
Réponse: Brazilian prisons/correction de violet91, postée le 12-09-2014 à 10:46:08 (S | E)
Hello ,
Quite good and interesting indeed ( except the use of the article an / a habit / some repetitions/ a few tenses, that instead of this when you conclude ) and interesting indeed ...Mind the spelling of literature in English and true you 'd probably get more approval inserting a touch of 'for and against' ( nuances , cautions) discussion . Are you expected to justify your opinion ? Does the article quote titles of other books all dealing with 'Crime (and Punishment ' ) ? An accurate way of seeing oneself as in a mirror ...
Thank you for bringing this piece of information ( at least , I myself had no idea of it ) ...that is clever for convicts who can read , discuss and think about the true impact it has on them ...
xxx
Have a good day and enjoy this topic .
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Modifié par lucile83 le 12-09-2014 22:16
Part of the message deleted as it was off the subject.
Réponse: Brazilian prisons/correction de here4u, postée le 12-09-2014 à 13:36:14 (S | E)
Hello elise !
If you have to give your opinion (, which I think you should ...), don't forget the other aspect of reading (Books are said to contain 'subversive ideas' cf Fahrenheit 451 and, especially The narrative of Frederick Douglas, the former slave who learnt how to read, became a free man, a writer and a leader ... Also consider the paradox for a prison system to provide such objects of subversion ...
Réponse: Brazilian prisons/correction de eliseclerget, postée le 15-09-2014 à 19:21:06 (S | E)
Hey
thank you very much for your answers.
I just write the text on my own and it was not an exercise given by my teacher so I didn't have to give my opinion.
thanks a lot
see you
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