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Correction /Partir aux USA
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Message de justinesuz posté le 07-03-2015 à 12:29:25 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis en train de monter un dossier pour pouvoir partir aux Etats Unis gratuitement grâce à une commission franco-européenne et j'ai besoin de votre aide s'il vous plait pour corriger mes dernières fautes. Merci beaucoup
21.PERSONAL STATEMENTS: Please attach three separate short essays of no more than 500 words each addressing the following questions.
A.Why you are interested in participating in this program? What do you hope to learn?
Firstly, I want participate to this program to open my mind on the international, I understand the importance of that in our professional life. And if I want to work in the ecology I have to understand environmental problems with many different points of view and at different levels (local, national, international). Every country have his own conception of environmental questions and solve their troubles differently, it depends of their culture. It brings a great diversity, a wealth in our knowledge. The cooperation is especially important.
Secondly, I want to progress in English, actually I understand very well, I hope writing almost correctly but I have no experience to speak with English speaker, I need to be immerse in the language and in the culture to be able to acquire an speaking ease.
Finally, I have not enough money to travel in America or in an other continent, less so long, less with formations and it’s an huge opportunity maybe the only one.
B.Using one or more examples, please describe a challenge at school, work, or in your personal life that you have had to overcome. How did you resolve the situation?
I’m in a student association and we want to represents other students in administration by election, this year I'm applied in departmental election (UFR) to represent biology students. It’s complicate because we have exams in same time. It requires a good planning and to show rigor. We have to communicate about elections with students, we may have strategy with or against other list and we have choice to ally us with an other association to avoid useless conflict. Elections are not finish when I write this but this strategy permit us to be confident.
An other example, when I was in college I was boarder and I was responsible of all girls in boarder school. During our last year all rules has changed and our rooms has changed also. Few girls lived in new compartment, had very little bedroom without office, without shower or any toilet and they have no other choice. No one of our had been inform of anything, it created an incomprehension and a wave of anger against the administration. I must calm the game with diplomacy. I could not say to the administration literally what girls said but I had to assume my role and do my best to claim our point of view sincerely. . Therefore I organized a survey about different weak spot and good spot to glamorize the situation and I send a letter to the administration with percentages. In conclusion the administration refurbishes littlest bedrooms better and doing also changes in our old bedrooms and everyone are in good position.
. Otherwise, I’m responsible of children during week-ends and we have always to presents projects and to defend their in front of other activity leaders and it’s like challenges.
C. Participants in the Summer Institutes use their summer experiences to give back to their communities. In what ways can you imagine giving back to your community after you participate in the Summer Institute?
I belong to a student association biology witch publish a diary every month, as a consequence I think writing an article about the environmental stewardship in America, a record of what I hope to learn and also to speak about my experience in the summer institutes, to share that with other students in my university and give their desire to go away, discovering new culture and new way to practice our profession.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-03-2015 13:13
Message de justinesuz posté le 07-03-2015 à 12:29:25 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis en train de monter un dossier pour pouvoir partir aux Etats Unis gratuitement grâce à une commission franco-européenne et j'ai besoin de votre aide s'il vous plait pour corriger mes dernières fautes. Merci beaucoup
21.PERSONAL STATEMENTS: Please attach three separate short essays of no more than 500 words each addressing the following questions.
A.Why you are interested in participating in this program? What do you hope to learn?
Firstly, I want participate to this program to open my mind on the international, I understand the importance of that in our professional life. And if I want to work in the ecology I have to understand environmental problems with many different points of view and at different levels (local, national, international). Every country have his own conception of environmental questions and solve their troubles differently, it depends of their culture. It brings a great diversity, a wealth in our knowledge. The cooperation is especially important.
Secondly, I want to progress in English, actually I understand very well, I hope writing almost correctly but I have no experience to speak with English speaker, I need to be immerse in the language and in the culture to be able to acquire an speaking ease.
Finally, I have not enough money to travel in America or in an other continent, less so long, less with formations and it’s an huge opportunity maybe the only one.
B.Using one or more examples, please describe a challenge at school, work, or in your personal life that you have had to overcome. How did you resolve the situation?
I’m in a student association and we want to represents other students in administration by election, this year I'm applied in departmental election (UFR) to represent biology students. It’s complicate because we have exams in same time. It requires a good planning and to show rigor. We have to communicate about elections with students, we may have strategy with or against other list and we have choice to ally us with an other association to avoid useless conflict. Elections are not finish when I write this but this strategy permit us to be confident.
An other example, when I was in college I was boarder and I was responsible of all girls in boarder school. During our last year all rules has changed and our rooms has changed also. Few girls lived in new compartment, had very little bedroom without office, without shower or any toilet and they have no other choice. No one of our had been inform of anything, it created an incomprehension and a wave of anger against the administration. I must calm the game with diplomacy. I could not say to the administration literally what girls said but I had to assume my role and do my best to claim our point of view sincerely. . Therefore I organized a survey about different weak spot and good spot to glamorize the situation and I send a letter to the administration with percentages. In conclusion the administration refurbishes littlest bedrooms better and doing also changes in our old bedrooms and everyone are in good position.
. Otherwise, I’m responsible of children during week-ends and we have always to presents projects and to defend their in front of other activity leaders and it’s like challenges.
C. Participants in the Summer Institutes use their summer experiences to give back to their communities. In what ways can you imagine giving back to your community after you participate in the Summer Institute?
I belong to a student association biology witch publish a diary every month, as a consequence I think writing an article about the environmental stewardship in America, a record of what I hope to learn and also to speak about my experience in the summer institutes, to share that with other students in my university and give their desire to go away, discovering new culture and new way to practice our profession.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 07-03-2015 13:13
Réponse: Correction /Partir aux USA de clem06, postée le 07-03-2015 à 17:49:31 (S | E)
Hello,
Question À)
I want to* participate
I understand its* importance in (ca sonne mieux je trouve ^^)
Every country has*
Question B)
It's complicateD *
We have exams at the* same time
elections are not finished *
I Had to* calm the game with diplomacy
I could not say to the administration what girls literally* said but
Otherwise I'm responsible of children during weekends*
Question C)
Which* !!
To Share it* with other
And give them* the desire
Discover* new
J'espère t'avoir aidée
en tout cas c'est très bien écrit, j'espère que tu seras acceptée ^^-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 07-03-2015 21:41
Réponse: Correction /Partir aux USA de here4u, postée le 08-03-2015 à 00:33:44 (S | E)
Hello !
Sorry, but ... there are more ... and I might have skipped a few ...
Blue = wrong
green = suggestion
XXX= missing elements
21.PERSONAL STATEMENTS: Please attach three separate short essays of no more than 500 words each addressing the following questions.
A.Why you are interested in participating in this program? What do you hope to learn?
Firstly, I want xx participate to this program to open my mind on the international xxx???, I understand the importance of that in our professional life. And if I want to work in the ecology I have to understand environmental problems with many different points of view and at different levels (local, national, international). Every country have his own conception of environmental questions and solve their troubles differently, it depends of their culture. It brings a great diversity, a wealth in our knowledge. The cooperation is especially important.
Secondly, I want to progress in English, actually I understand very well, I hope writing??? almost correctly but I have no experience to speak with English speaker, I need to be immerse in the language and in the culture to be able to acquire an speaking ease.
Finally, I have not enough money to travel in America or in an other continent, less so long, less with formations and it’s an huge opportunity FOR ME, maybe the only one.
B.Using one or more examples, please describe a challenge at school, work, or in your personal life that you have had to overcome. How did you resolve the situation?
I’m in a student association and we want to represents other students in administration by election, this year I'm applied in departmental election (UFR) to represent biology students. It’s complicate because we have exams in XXX same time. It requires a good planning and to show rigor. We have to communicate about elections with students, we may have strategy with or against other list and we have XX choice to ally us with an other association to avoid useless conflict. Elections are not finish when I write this but this strategy permit us to be confident.
An other example, when I was in college I was X boarder and I was responsible of all girls in boarder school. During our last year all rules has changed and our rooms has changed also. Few girls lived in new compartment,??? had very little bedroomS without office, without x shower or any toilet and they have no other choice. No one of our had been inform of anything,?? it created an incomprehension and a wave of anger against the administration. I must calm the game with diplomacy. I could not say to the administration literally what XXX girls said but I had to assume my role and do my best to claim our point of view sincerely. . Therefore I organized a survey about different weak spot and good spot to glamorize the situation and I send a letter to the administration with percentages. In conclusion the administration refurbishes littlest bedrooms better and doing also changes in our old bedrooms and everyone are in good position.
. Otherwise, I’m responsible of children during week-ends and we have always to presents projects and to defend their in front of other activity leaders and it’s like challenges.
C. Participants in the Summer Institutes use their summer experiences to give back to their communities. In what ways can you imagine giving back to your community after you participate in the Summer Institute?
I belong to a student association (FOR?) biology witch publish a diary every month, as a consequence I think writing(plan to write?) an article about the environmental stewardship(boff!) in America, a record of what I hope to learn and also to speak about my experience in the summer institutes?, to share that with other students in my university and give their XX desire to go away, discovering new cultureS and new wayS to practice our profession.
Good luck !
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