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Bac/ Espaces et échanges
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Message de ivandu13 posté le 19-03-2015 à 21:33:17 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir !
comme vous pouvez sans doute l'imaginer, je passe mes épreuves de langue bientôt. Je voulais juste avoir votre avis et une correction. En vous remerciant d'avance pour vos réponses.
The notion of spaces and exchanges require the circulation of people between countries through immigration.
Today, people immigrate according to several reasons. These immigrations were facilitated bu the interactions and the exchanges between the borders which became easier and faster.
At present, there are many people who take a gap year to leave abroad and discover a new horizon. It's a unique opportunity to create new contacts, to acquire a new vision of the world. For example in the book : On the Road of Kerouac, the narrator and his friend travels the United States up and down. Every journey in various countries is a new and unique experience for both protagonists.
Some youn people also leave their country of origin for economic reasons, they try to avoid the crisis of their country. These people favor the destinations as the United States to live the ''Americain dream''. For many people the United States is a country were we can find a work easily and it's a democratic country which makes dream.
Other decide to leave their country for political reason. If we take the example of Cuba, which is even today a dictatorship. Some people take of big risk to cross the border and to be able to fin the freedom in another country.
Today, it's easy to cross from a border to an other one with a simple passport. However that does not still have was the case.
During the conquest of west, wgich began officially in 1803 and ended in 1890, indians werre opressed by the white.
So, numerous Indians had to immigrate by the strenght in other countries to find a refuge. This idea opposes that previously idead because the immigration is not any more a choice, but an obligation for the survival.
In conclusion , I would say that to cross beyond our borders opens us the mind and allows to live an unique experiences.
To finish I shall end to say that, we are all immigrants, there is only a place of birth which changes.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 19-03-2015 22:03
Message de ivandu13 posté le 19-03-2015 à 21:33:17 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir !
comme vous pouvez sans doute l'imaginer, je passe mes épreuves de langue bientôt. Je voulais juste avoir votre avis et une correction. En vous remerciant d'avance pour vos réponses.
The notion of spaces and exchanges require the circulation of people between countries through immigration.
Today, people immigrate according to several reasons. These immigrations were facilitated bu the interactions and the exchanges between the borders which became easier and faster.
At present, there are many people who take a gap year to leave abroad and discover a new horizon. It's a unique opportunity to create new contacts, to acquire a new vision of the world. For example in the book : On the Road of Kerouac, the narrator and his friend travels the United States up and down. Every journey in various countries is a new and unique experience for both protagonists.
Some youn people also leave their country of origin for economic reasons, they try to avoid the crisis of their country. These people favor the destinations as the United States to live the ''Americain dream''. For many people the United States is a country were we can find a work easily and it's a democratic country which makes dream.
Other decide to leave their country for political reason. If we take the example of Cuba, which is even today a dictatorship. Some people take of big risk to cross the border and to be able to fin the freedom in another country.
Today, it's easy to cross from a border to an other one with a simple passport. However that does not still have was the case.
During the conquest of west, wgich began officially in 1803 and ended in 1890, indians werre opressed by the white.
So, numerous Indians had to immigrate by the strenght in other countries to find a refuge. This idea opposes that previously idead because the immigration is not any more a choice, but an obligation for the survival.
In conclusion , I would say that to cross beyond our borders opens us the mind and allows to live an unique experiences.
To finish I shall end to say that, we are all immigrants, there is only a place of birth which changes.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 19-03-2015 22:03
Réponse: Bac/ Espaces et échanges de eliza55, postée le 23-03-2015 à 20:07:36 (S | E)
Hello,
Les choses en bleu et en exclamation sont à corriger.
The notion of spaces and exchanges require the circulation of people between countries through immigration.
Today, people immigrate according to several reasons. These immigrations were facilitated bu
the interactions and the exchanges between the borders which became easier and faster.At present, there are many people who take a gap year to leave abroad and discover a new horizon. It's a unique opportunity to create new contacts, to acquire a new vision of the world. For example in the book : On the Road of Kerouac, the narrator and his friend travels the United States up and down. Every journey in various countries is a new and unique experience for both protagonists.
Some youn
people also leave their country of origin for economic reasons, they try to avoid the crisis of their country. These people favor the destinations as the United States to live the ''Americain dream''. For many people the United States is a country were we can find a work easily and it's a democratic country which makes dream. Other decide to leave their country for political reason. If we take the example of Cuba, which is even today a dictatorship. Some people take of big risk to cross the border and to be able to fin
the freedom in another country.Today, it's easy to cross from a border to an other one with a simple passport. However that does not still have was the case.
During the conquest of west, wgich began officially in 1803 and ended in 1890, indians werre opressed by the white.
So, numerous Indians had to immigrate by the strenght in other countries to find a refuge. This idea opposes that previously idead because the immigration is not any more a choice, but an obligation for the survival.
In conclusion , I would say that to cross beyond our borders opens us the mind and allows to live an unique experiences.
To finish I shall end to say that, we are all immigrants, there is only a place of birth which changes.
Il n'y a pas trop de fautes sur ton texte, donc je te félicite !
Après, comme je ne suis pas experte, peut-être qu'un vrai anglais (ou une anglaise!) verra des fautes là où je ne vois pas. Donc un avis d'un "très pratiquant" s'avère nécessaire ici ...
Cordialement,
Eliza.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 23-03-2015 21:00
Réponse: Bac/ Espaces et échanges de ivandu13, postée le 23-03-2015 à 22:03:42 (S | E)
Coucou Elisa ! Je tenais vraiment à te remercier pour ta correction qui m'est vraiment précieuse. J'essaierai de le transmettre à un bilingue même si ça risque d'être compliqué...
Encore
et très bonne soirée ! Réponse: Bac/ Espaces et échanges de eliza55, postée le 24-03-2015 à 11:37:37 (S | E)
De rien ivandu13.
Oui c'est sûr... ça risque d'être compliqué à en trouver. J'ai donné tout ce que je savais dans ma correction (un petit coup de pouce vaut mieux que rien...
) . Bon courage.
Cordialement.
Réponse: Bac/ Espaces et échanges de violet91, postée le 24-03-2015 à 12:29:52 (S | E)
Bonjour 'tout le monde' , bonjour ivandu13,The notion of spaces and exchanges require ( 3ème sg.présent simple; et perhaps v.impliquer ou porter en soi)the circulation of people between countries through immigration.
Today, people immigrate according to several reasons . These immigrations were facilitated ( temps/ bilan = present perfect passif 'ont été faites plus faciles et rapides' serait plus approprié).bu(Créer une phrase courte) the interactions and the exchanges between the borders which became easier and faster.( je l'aurais laissé tomber , car formulé avant ,implicitement.)
At present( adv.plus 'anglais), there are many people who take a gap year to leave ( pour destinations étrangères: vont vivre à l'étranger ..quitter passe plus loin))abroad and discover a new horizon. It's a unique ( bravo : cf.fin)opportunity to create new contacts, to (coordin.)acquire a new vision of the world. For example in the book :X (quotations : guillemets) On the Road of( prép.déplacement ou nom composé = London road)) Kerouac X, the narrator and his friend travels( no 's' sujet pluriel)X( prép. traversée et rayonnement) the United States up and down. Every journey in various countries is a new and unique experience for both protagonists .
Some( plous grand quantifieur : de nombreux) youn people also leave their country of origin for economic ( adj.à 'allonger')reasons,( point virgule) they try to avoid the crisis of their country( répétition >. These people favor ( opter , préferer)the destinations as the United States to live ( expérimenter) the ''Americain dream'. X ( outil de liaison explicatif)For many people ( pronom personnel pl complément)the (United) States ( or the US)is a country were( confusion : relatif de lieu) we( 'nous' impropre ; 'on '= one or passez à une voix passive avec pour sujet : jobs )) can find a work easily and it's( forme pleine , please) a democratic country which makes dream.( qui peut faire rêver ; introduisez un modal / possibilité et une proposition infinitive )
Other ( pl.)decide to leave their country for political reason( pl. ou introduisez l' article indéfini sg). If we ( let us)take the example of Cuba, which( même si > even though it) is even today( fin de phrase) a dictatorship . Some people take of (pas en anglais = c.o.d) big risk(pl.) to cross the border and to be able to fin ( orth)the freedom nom abstrait : pas d'article) in another country.
Today, it's easy to cross from a border to an other ( en un mot)one with a simple passport. However that does not still have was the case. ( present perfect négatif et emploi de 'toujours' - no still) During the conquest of west, wgich began officially in 1803 and ended in 1890, indians werre opressed by the white( pl.)
So, numerous Indians had to immigrate by the strenght( no article) in( prep.mouvement) other countries to find a refuge. This idea opposes that previously( adj, pas adverbe ) idead(idea - I suppose- indeed?) because the immigration is not any more ( plus court)a choice, but an obligation for the survival.
In conclusion , I would say that to cross beyond our borders opens us the mind ( adj.poss. 1ère pl.et mind au pluriel)and allows to live an unique experiences( vous avez choisi le sg.).
To finish ( abrupt et dit après)I shall end to say that,( surtout pas de virgule) we are all immigrants, there is only a place of birth which changes.( on ne peut pas faire ce raccourci...: essayer de clarifier votre idée.)
Pas de découragement : il y a bonne matière
. J'ai choisi de vous suivre à la trace et de vous souffler en français . Le dernier tiers du texte est à bien 'recomposer' , sans hâte .Certaines choses ont pu m'échapper : on y verra plus clair dans votre mouture suivante . Allez ! Bon courage !
Réponse: Bac/ Espaces et échanges de ivandu13, postée le 24-03-2015 à 22:23:17 (S | E)
Oula ! Moi qui pensais n'avoir pas fait beaucoup de fautes... J'en suis très loin
En tout cas merci énormément pour tous les conseils que vous m'apportez ! Je posterai mes prochaines PPC sur le forum , je vais bien me relire histoire de faire le moins de fautes possibles
Encore
et à bientôt !-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 24-03-2015 22:43
Réponse: Bac/ Espaces et échanges de here4u, postée le 25-03-2015 à 10:41:19 (S | E)
Hello !
A few more ...
- people immigrate according to several reasons
- destinations as the United States
- I shall end to say that
- If we take the example of Cuba, which is even today a dictatorship. (this is not a correct finished sentence!)
- the conquest of XXX west,
plus a strange theory concerning Native Americans...
Go for it !
Réponse: Bac/ Espaces et échanges de ivandu13, postée le 25-03-2015 à 19:28:51 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup Here4u pour ton aide qui m'est précieuse ! ;)
A très vite
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