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Commentaire/chanson
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Message de dadoush35 posté le 30-03-2015 à 15:53:04 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai fait un commentaire de texte sur une chanson/un clip. Pourriez-vous m'aider à la corriger s'il vous plait ?
The lyrics tell the loneliness of a man, reinforced by his love story, while the video clip looks more complex. The thing we can say, it's that the last scene enables to the spectators to imagine a lot of different things.
« Was it only a dream or is it a finished love story? »
Dream or break, it's possible that the man invent everything. Indeed, the scenes where we see Lorraine are more colorfull and illuminated than the scene where we can see the man (Guilhem)
Then, Lorraine is always with the band : in the bar, in the car, and even in the beach n the second plan, which can looks a bit unreal. Many clues show it's a dream : except the waitress, there is no more people except her and the band ; the car which she's drivini is totally unlikely as the fact that the band is playing behind her. There is always only the pick-up on the road, no more cars. On the beach, the band is always here, like a song Lorraine could have stuck in her head, like a obsession the man would have in his head.. Even at the end, there is never eyed contact between those two characters. Guilhem is alone, like at the beginning. Maybe he imagined everything.
To be back on the lyrics, it's the story quite banal of a man who feels lonely but who like going for a walk on the rocks, being at the seaside with his friend, his girlfriend. It's at the same time very optimistic and not at all. It tells at the same time the hope to live a simple and beautiful relationship and at the same time the loneliness we can meet in love. That's all the song : it's never only white or only black, it's complex, like the life.
Je vous remercie beaucoup, bonne journée.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-03-2015 22:01
Message de dadoush35 posté le 30-03-2015 à 15:53:04 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai fait un commentaire de texte sur une chanson/un clip. Pourriez-vous m'aider à la corriger s'il vous plait ?
The lyrics tell the loneliness of a man, reinforced by his love story, while the video clip looks more complex. The thing we can say, it's that the last scene enables to the spectators to imagine a lot of different things.
« Was it only a dream or is it a finished love story? »
Dream or break, it's possible that the man invent everything. Indeed, the scenes where we see Lorraine are more colorfull and illuminated than the scene where we can see the man (Guilhem)
Then, Lorraine is always with the band : in the bar, in the car, and even in the beach n the second plan, which can looks a bit unreal. Many clues show it's a dream : except the waitress, there is no more people except her and the band ; the car which she's drivini is totally unlikely as the fact that the band is playing behind her. There is always only the pick-up on the road, no more cars. On the beach, the band is always here, like a song Lorraine could have stuck in her head, like a obsession the man would have in his head.. Even at the end, there is never eyed contact between those two characters. Guilhem is alone, like at the beginning. Maybe he imagined everything.
To be back on the lyrics, it's the story quite banal of a man who feels lonely but who like going for a walk on the rocks, being at the seaside with his friend, his girlfriend. It's at the same time very optimistic and not at all. It tells at the same time the hope to live a simple and beautiful relationship and at the same time the loneliness we can meet in love. That's all the song : it's never only white or only black, it's complex, like the life.
Je vous remercie beaucoup, bonne journée.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-03-2015 22:01
Réponse: Commentaire/chanson de bluduck2, postée le 31-03-2015 à 18:15:59 (S | E)
hello dadoush35 ! Voici quelques remarques :
ligne 1 :après "say",pas de pronom personnel
ligne 1 :enable est transitif (pas de "to")
ligne 4 :revoir le temps du verbe "invent" et ne mettre qu'un seul "l" à colourful
ligne 6 :préposition "on" (the beach)
vocabulaire :1er plan :"foreground", arrière plan "background"
ligne 6 CAN+infinitif sans to
ligne 8 :là =there (non pas "here") .Devant une voyelle "obsession", article "an"
eye-contact
ligne 10 :comme au début =as in the beginning
ligne 10 :l'adjectif "banal",même modifié par "quite" se place avant le nom it's quite a banal story.
ligne 11 :vocabulaire .préférez "encounter"à "meet"
Il s'agit de la vie en général, donc pas d'article .
I hope ths helps ! Bluduck2
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