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Correction/agriculture
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Message de lemulo23 posté le 06-10-2015 à 10:42:37 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je dois réaliser un abstract en première partie d'un rapport de stage. Pouvez-vous m'aider en m'apportant des éléments de correction s'il vous plait?
Merci pour vos réponses.
Je discute des capacités d'adaptation des systèmes d'élevages herbagers producteurs de lait d'origine bovine.
Voici ma rédaction :
Climate change research that aims to accelerate the adaptation process of agricultural production systems first requires understanding their climatic vulnerability and their system production. This presentation approaches the representation of an agricultural system by the forage rummy and the interpretation we can make about this system when it is in front of various future climates.
The diversity and complementarities of spatio-temporal production patterns and products in livestock systems (ranging from grassland-based to mixed-crop systems) are potential assets to dampen the effects of climatic variability and to adapt to changing climatic context. Unfortunately what seems to improve the robustness and efficiency of a livestock system (or reduce its vulnerability) is at the same time increasing its complexity due to the need to manage dynamically several processes that interact in space and time.
The main objectives of this training period are to:
- use the forage rummy and the Farmore method to identify the adaptations of grass-land based livestock systems;
- adapt the Farmore actual version by integrating the corn silage in the method;
- expand the temporal horizon and perfect the choice of the used relevant years.
The workshop-based design framework involves farmers and/or advisors and researchers. Through such workshops the design process exploits intertwining of scientific knowledge and experiential and tacit knowledge of the farmers and advisors. The work is based on the thesis of Marion Sautier whose title is: equip the adaptation of grass-land based livestock systems to climate change. During my training period, I realized some adaptation of the Farmore method (Farmore is an adaptation of the forage rummy allowing the progressive participatory design in three workshops) and I applied it with farmers. The results demonstrate that diversity is synonymous with exposure reduction.
This document present the adaptation made of the Farmore method, the application of this new method and the first results of workshops made with the participants.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-10-2015 11:10
Message de lemulo23 posté le 06-10-2015 à 10:42:37 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je dois réaliser un abstract en première partie d'un rapport de stage. Pouvez-vous m'aider en m'apportant des éléments de correction s'il vous plait?
Merci pour vos réponses.
Je discute des capacités d'adaptation des systèmes d'élevages herbagers producteurs de lait d'origine bovine.
Voici ma rédaction :
Climate change research that aims to accelerate the adaptation process of agricultural production systems first requires understanding their climatic vulnerability and their system production. This presentation approaches the representation of an agricultural system by the forage rummy and the interpretation we can make about this system when it is in front of various future climates.
The diversity and complementarities of spatio-temporal production patterns and products in livestock systems (ranging from grassland-based to mixed-crop systems) are potential assets to dampen the effects of climatic variability and to adapt to changing climatic context. Unfortunately what seems to improve the robustness and efficiency of a livestock system (or reduce its vulnerability) is at the same time increasing its complexity due to the need to manage dynamically several processes that interact in space and time.
The main objectives of this training period are to:
- use the forage rummy and the Farmore method to identify the adaptations of grass-land based livestock systems;
- adapt the Farmore actual version by integrating the corn silage in the method;
- expand the temporal horizon and perfect the choice of the used relevant years.
The workshop-based design framework involves farmers and/or advisors and researchers. Through such workshops the design process exploits intertwining of scientific knowledge and experiential and tacit knowledge of the farmers and advisors. The work is based on the thesis of Marion Sautier whose title is: equip the adaptation of grass-land based livestock systems to climate change. During my training period, I realized some adaptation of the Farmore method (Farmore is an adaptation of the forage rummy allowing the progressive participatory design in three workshops) and I applied it with farmers. The results demonstrate that diversity is synonymous with exposure reduction.
This document present the adaptation made of the Farmore method, the application of this new method and the first results of workshops made with the participants.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-10-2015 11:10
Réponse: Correction/agriculture de gerondif, postée le 06-10-2015 à 11:21:40 (S | E)
Bonjour,
on trouve la thèse citée sur Internet, l'auteur a elle-même traduit son titre de thèse, autant le respecter:
Titre de la thèse :
Outiller l’adaptation des élevages herbagers au changement climatique : de l’analyse de la
vulnérabilité à la conception participative de systèmes d’élevage
Auteur : Marion SAUTIER
Thesis title:
Enhancing adaptation of grassland-based livestock systems to climate change and variability: from
vulnerability assessment to participatory design of systems.
D'ailleurs, son résumé de thèse ressemble à votre texte, ce qui est sans doute normal.
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert.
Climate change research (j'aurais plutôt dit : Research about climate change) that aims to accelerate the adaptation process of agricultural production systems first requires understanding their climatic vulnerability and their system production. This presentation approaches the representation of an agricultural system by(j'aurais mis through) the forage rummy and the interpretation we can make aboutl'interprétation de ce système) this system when it is in front of (confronté à ? utilisez le verbe "face")various future climates.
The diversity and complementarities of spatio-temporal production patterns and products in livestock systems (ranging from grassland-based to mixed-crop systems) are potential assets to dampen the effects of climatic variability and to adapt to changing climatic context. Unfortunately what seems to improve the robustness and efficiency of a livestock system (or reduce its vulnerability) is at the same time increasing its complexity due to the need to manage dynamically several processes that interact in space and time.
The main objectives of this training period are to(mettez le plutôt devant les trois verbes qui suivent):
- use the forage rummy and the Farmore method to identify the adaptations of grass-land based livestock systems;
- adapt the Farmore actual version by integrating the corn silage in the method;
- expand the temporal horizon and perfect the choice of the used relevant years.
The workshop-based design framework involves farmers and/or advisors and researchers. Through such workshops the design process exploits the intertwining of scientific knowledge and experiential and tacit knowledge of the farmers and advisors. The work is based on the thesis of Marion Sautier whose title is: equip the adaptation of grass-land based livestock systems to climate change. During my training period, I realized some adaptation(pluriel?) of the Farmore method (Farmore is an adaptation of the forage rummy allowing the progressive participatory design in three workshops) and I applied it with farmers. The results demonstrate that diversity is synonymous with exposure reduction.
This document present(le s de la 3ème personne du présent) the adaptation made of the Farmore method, the application of this new method and the first results of workshops made with the participants.
Réponse: Correction/agriculture de lemulo23, postée le 06-10-2015 à 11:55:24 (S | E)
Merci de votre aide gérondif!
En effet je ne savais pas qu'elle avait elle même traduit le titre de sa thèse mais cela semble évident
Voici la nouvelle version :
Research about climate change aims to accelerate the adaptation process of agricultural production systems first requires understanding their climatic vulnerability and their system production. This presentation approaches the representation of an agricultural system through the forage rummy and the interpretation we can make of this system when it is face to a various future climates.
The diversity and complementarities of spatio-temporal production patterns and products in livestock systems (ranging from grassland-based to mixed-crop systems) are potential assets to dampen the effects of climatic variability and to adapt to changing climatic context. Unfortunately what seems to improve the robustness and efficiency of a livestock system (or reduce its vulnerability) is at the same time increasing its complexity due to the need to manage dynamically several processes that interact in space and time.
The main objectives of this training period are:
- to use the forage rummy and the Farmore method to identify the adaptations of grass-land based livestock systems;
- to adapt the Farmore actual version by integrating the corn silage in the method;
- to expand the temporal horizon and perfect the choice of the used relevant years.
The workshop-based design framework involves farmers and/or advisors and researchers. Through such workshops the design process exploits the intertwining of scientific knowledge and experiential and tacit knowledge of the farmers and advisors. The work is based on the thesis of Marion Sautier whose title is: enhancing adaptation of grassland-based livestock systems to climate change and variability: from vulnerability assessment to participatory design of systems. During my training period, I realized some adaptations of the Farmore method (Farmore is an adaptation of the forage rummy allowing the progressive participatory design in three workshops) and I applied it with farmers. The results demonstrate that diversity is synonymous with exposure reduction.
This document presents the adaptation made of the Farmore method, the application of this new method and the first results of workshops made with the participants.
Trouvez vous le texte assez claire? Correspond-t-il, selon vous, aux critères requis par la rédaction d'un abstract?
Merci encore
Lem23
Réponse: Correction/agriculture de gerondif, postée le 06-10-2015 à 12:40:49 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Trouvez-vous le texte assez clair (c'est masculin, texte)?
Oui, je comprends en gros ce que ça veut dire, (mais pas tout et j'ai un peu la flemme de chercher à comprendre) une fois qu'on a compris après quelques recherches sous google que "forage rummy" est un jeu inventé pour aider les agriculteurs à gérer..
Je ne suis pas compétent sinon pour juger de ce que l'on exige de vous pour un abstract.
La première phrase est incompréhensible si on ne la remanie pas :
Research about climate change, which aims to accelerate the adaptation process of agricultural production systems, first requires some understanding of their climatic vulnerability and their system production.
This presentation approaches the representation of an agricultural system through the forage rummy and the interpretation we can make of this system when it is faced
The diversity and complementarities of spatio-temporal production patterns and products in livestock systems (ranging from grassland-based to mixed-crop systems) are potential assets to dampen the effects of climatic variability and to adapt to changing climatic context. Unfortunately what seems to improve the robustness and efficiency of a livestock system (or reduce its vulnerability) is at the same time increasing its complexity due to the need to manage dynamically several processes that interact in space and time.
The main objectives of this training period are:
- to use the forage rummy and the Farmore method to identify the adaptations of grass-land based livestock systems;
- to adapt the Farmore actual version by integrating the corn silage in the method;
- to expand the temporal horizon and perfect the choice of the used relevant years.
The workshop-based design framework involves farmers and/or advisors and researchers. Through such workshops the design process exploits the intertwining of scientific knowledge and experiential and tacit knowledge of the farmers and advisors. The work is based on Marion Sautier's thesis whose title is: enhancing adaptation of grassland-based livestock systems to climate change and variability: from vulnerability assessment to participatory design of systems. During my training period, I realized some adaptations of the Farmore method (Farmore is an adaptation of the forage rummy allowing the progressive participatory design in three workshops) and I applied it with farmers. The results demonstrate that diversity is synonymous with exposure reduction.
This document presents the adaptation made of the Farmore method, the application of this new method and the first results of the workshops the participants took part in.
Réponse: Correction/agriculture de lemulo23, postée le 06-10-2015 à 12:57:57 (S | E)
Vous avez la correction orthographique dans le sang
Je dois encore m'appliquer et faire plus attention aux erreurs classiques!
Merci mille
lem23
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Modifié par lucile83 le 06-10-2015 13:10
Réponse: Correction/agriculture de gerondif, postée le 06-10-2015 à 14:05:53 (S | E)
hello,
en vérifiant, je vois que le dictionnaire donne "faced with" alors que j'avais laissé "faced to".
Ce n'est pas que j'aie la correction orthographique dans le sang, mais je me dis qu'un texte officiel ou public se doit d'être présenté sans énormes fautes,voire sans fautes, sinon, ça le décridibilise. J'ai sans doute tort mais quand je lis une petite annonce sur une voiture d'occasion, si elle est truffée de fautes, j'ai tendance à avoir moins confiance, alors que par ailleurs, une de mes connaissances est un excellent mécanicien à l'orthographe plus que défaillante !
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