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Correction/lieux et échanges
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En basCorrection/lieux et échanges
Message de gizmozzz posté le 23-11-2015 à 21:53:51 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
j'aimerais savoir si ce texte est grammaticalement correct
merci d'avance pour vos réponses !
I’m going to talk about the notion spaces and exchanges. A possible definition of this notion is the deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. New York City is a great topic to talk about the notion of spaces and exchanges. New York is the largest city in the United States and one of the largest in the world. New York has a significant impact on global commerce, finance, media, art, entertainment… Everyone knows this city of all sizes; this city is present in many books, films and songs such as in “New York New York” by Martin Scores or “Manhattan” by Woody Allen.
Which two New York faces seen by the artists?
Artists have mainly two visions of NY. Some have a positive and demonstrates NY as a marvelous and extraordinary place. Instead, some have a negative view of the city and think NY is superficial and dehumanizes people. I chose two documents to illustrate my ideas: the first is a painting by Debra Hurd, (talented artist who is well-known for her "insightful paintings of animals, her vived city scenes and her passionate and perceptible depictions of jazz, rock, and blues musicians), appointed New York City and the second document is a poem by Prabhath Avadhanula, a Canadian poet.
I. Some artists have a positive vision of NY and show the positive face of the city. First, we will see that NY is often considered one of the most important cities in the world. Everyone knows and loves this city. Second, we will see that NY is a very important trading place. Third, we will see that NY is a major place of art and culture.
A.
New York is the largest city in the United States and one of the largest in the Americas. It is located in the Northeastern United States, on the Atlantic coast, at the southern extremity of the State of New York. The New York City consists of five boroughs: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx and Staten Island.
New York exerts a significant impact on global commerce, finance, media, art, fashion, research, technology, education and entertainment. Bringing together all the characteristics of a global city, it is sometimes regarded as the "capital of the world."
Times Square, "the Crossroads of the World" is the hub of the show in the entire country and the Broadway theater district, one of the most popular intersections and a major center of the entertainment industry in the world. The city has a large number of bridges, skyscrapers and world famous parks
In the painting by Debra, They are many colors. All its colors and its lights show the greatness of New York and show an extraordinary world, very colorful and lively. We feel that New York never sleeps. For example, the impressive fireworks July 4 New York is probably one of the most beautiful in the world, for the Independence Day symbolizes the grandeur and importance of this city. New York is indeed an extraordinary space that makes people dream.
B.
New York is a place for exchanges in many fields. There are different types of exchange: economic, cultural and social.
For economic changes: the financial district of New York, anchored by Wall Street in Lower Manhattan, functions as the "financial capital of the world" and is home to the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE). New York also has important tourism-related resources; New York hosts some 50 million annual visitors.
For cultural exchange: New York is still one of the main cultural centers of the world. Indeed, the city has about 2,000 arts and cultural organizations and more than 500 art galleries. New York's cosmopolitan culture is: elitist in his operas and avant-garde theaters, artistic creation is also popular with Broadway musicals or just in the street.
For social exchanges: In some ways, the city of New York is more international than American. It hosts a lot of immigrants. One can hear hundreds of different languages in New York. The trend is the community group, and whole neighborhoods were formed according to geographical or cultural origins: Irish, Italians, Chinese, Korean, Puerto Ricans, Nigerians, Senegalese, Jews, Poles, Russians, each occupy enclaves in the city. There is a rich melting pot in NY; it’s a blending of races, people and cultures.
C.
New York is a space of art and culture. There are several world-famous New York museums such as the Met, MOMA and the Guggenheim Museum. Broadway is a big cultural influence. It's significant year instead because the temple is of musicals and plays. The subway is a place of street performers like break dancers to express their talent. Street art is an art of revolt, ephemerid art. It's a symbol of NY. NY also it's a site of Hip Hop. It was created to denounce poverty and violence in the Bronx. New York inspires artists as Debra Hurd or Prabhath Avadhanula but also directly place an art and culture.
II. Some artists have a negative view of New York. In a first part, I will explain that NY is dehumanized. In the second part, I will show that New is superficial is in a third part I will explain that New York is gloomy.
A.
In the painting by Debra Hurd, we can’t see people in cabs because glasses are blackened. The city is dehumanized. The inhabitants in NY don’t have any identity because the only person we can see is faceless. There is no individuality. There are like lost ghosts. The person on the picture embodies all the inhabitants of NY. Indeed, they are nothing compared to buildings, flashing lights and big traffic. There isn’t communication between people because it is as they were “erased”. Every person is locked in cabs. They can’t speak to each other.
In the poem by Prabhath Avadhanula, there is a cold vision of NY with the three adjectives at the beginning. The city is described by its subways so life is also underground as if people were ants. The city is swarming. We have also thus idea in the fact that streets are only described by the traffic rush. The hyperbole “million moving feet” underlines this idea of numbers and there’re not really people, they are just a group. There is no interaction between tourist and local people. Inhabitants despise tourists even if they play an important role for economy.
B.
NY has a superficial side. In the painting, we can just see the shops signs and lights. People are not interested in anything else that money. All is question of many. The excess of colors highlights an excess of information and advertising and it ides everything. The impression is impersonal and cold, even if they are hot colors. We can’t see anybody. Its night but they are many lights which pop up. There is no empty space. We are blindest by so many colors which lure people into consumption. NY has an economic exchange: there are lots of ads, all is mixed up. The city seems too tight and too narrow. There is no room for humans. We could then have a feeling of oppression with too many buildings. NY is false and superficial. The true values of life are not present in this city.
C.
Behind its glamorous sides of city with huge skyscrapers, large avenues with snow falling, cultural places and very majestic hotels, NY is, in fact, gloomy with a lot of garbage, sex, drugs and poverty (clothes hanging between old buildings for example). NY looks like a normal city with a lot of traffic and pollution.
To conclude, we can see two sides in NY: a positive side because NY is the famous city in the world with many places of exchanges and many places of art and different culture and a negative side because NY is dehumanized, superficial and gloomy with garbage, sex, drugs and poverty.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 23-11-2015 22:33
Un peu long peut-être?!
Message de gizmozzz posté le 23-11-2015 à 21:53:51 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
j'aimerais savoir si ce texte est grammaticalement correct
merci d'avance pour vos réponses !I’m going to talk about the notion spaces and exchanges. A possible definition of this notion is the deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. New York City is a great topic to talk about the notion of spaces and exchanges. New York is the largest city in the United States and one of the largest in the world. New York has a significant impact on global commerce, finance, media, art, entertainment… Everyone knows this city of all sizes; this city is present in many books, films and songs such as in “New York New York” by Martin Scores or “Manhattan” by Woody Allen.
Which two New York faces seen by the artists?
Artists have mainly two visions of NY. Some have a positive and demonstrates NY as a marvelous and extraordinary place. Instead, some have a negative view of the city and think NY is superficial and dehumanizes people. I chose two documents to illustrate my ideas: the first is a painting by Debra Hurd, (talented artist who is well-known for her "insightful paintings of animals, her vived city scenes and her passionate and perceptible depictions of jazz, rock, and blues musicians), appointed New York City and the second document is a poem by Prabhath Avadhanula, a Canadian poet.
I. Some artists have a positive vision of NY and show the positive face of the city. First, we will see that NY is often considered one of the most important cities in the world. Everyone knows and loves this city. Second, we will see that NY is a very important trading place. Third, we will see that NY is a major place of art and culture.
A.
New York is the largest city in the United States and one of the largest in the Americas. It is located in the Northeastern United States, on the Atlantic coast, at the southern extremity of the State of New York. The New York City consists of five boroughs: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx and Staten Island.
New York exerts a significant impact on global commerce, finance, media, art, fashion, research, technology, education and entertainment. Bringing together all the characteristics of a global city, it is sometimes regarded as the "capital of the world."
Times Square, "the Crossroads of the World" is the hub of the show in the entire country and the Broadway theater district, one of the most popular intersections and a major center of the entertainment industry in the world. The city has a large number of bridges, skyscrapers and world famous parks
In the painting by Debra, They are many colors. All its colors and its lights show the greatness of New York and show an extraordinary world, very colorful and lively. We feel that New York never sleeps. For example, the impressive fireworks July 4 New York is probably one of the most beautiful in the world, for the Independence Day symbolizes the grandeur and importance of this city. New York is indeed an extraordinary space that makes people dream.
B.
New York is a place for exchanges in many fields. There are different types of exchange: economic, cultural and social.
For economic changes: the financial district of New York, anchored by Wall Street in Lower Manhattan, functions as the "financial capital of the world" and is home to the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE). New York also has important tourism-related resources; New York hosts some 50 million annual visitors.
For cultural exchange: New York is still one of the main cultural centers of the world. Indeed, the city has about 2,000 arts and cultural organizations and more than 500 art galleries. New York's cosmopolitan culture is: elitist in his operas and avant-garde theaters, artistic creation is also popular with Broadway musicals or just in the street.
For social exchanges: In some ways, the city of New York is more international than American. It hosts a lot of immigrants. One can hear hundreds of different languages in New York. The trend is the community group, and whole neighborhoods were formed according to geographical or cultural origins: Irish, Italians, Chinese, Korean, Puerto Ricans, Nigerians, Senegalese, Jews, Poles, Russians, each occupy enclaves in the city. There is a rich melting pot in NY; it’s a blending of races, people and cultures.
C.
New York is a space of art and culture. There are several world-famous New York museums such as the Met, MOMA and the Guggenheim Museum. Broadway is a big cultural influence. It's significant year instead because the temple is of musicals and plays. The subway is a place of street performers like break dancers to express their talent. Street art is an art of revolt, ephemerid art. It's a symbol of NY. NY also it's a site of Hip Hop. It was created to denounce poverty and violence in the Bronx. New York inspires artists as Debra Hurd or Prabhath Avadhanula but also directly place an art and culture.
II. Some artists have a negative view of New York. In a first part, I will explain that NY is dehumanized. In the second part, I will show that New is superficial is in a third part I will explain that New York is gloomy.
A.
In the painting by Debra Hurd, we can’t see people in cabs because glasses are blackened. The city is dehumanized. The inhabitants in NY don’t have any identity because the only person we can see is faceless. There is no individuality. There are like lost ghosts. The person on the picture embodies all the inhabitants of NY. Indeed, they are nothing compared to buildings, flashing lights and big traffic. There isn’t communication between people because it is as they were “erased”. Every person is locked in cabs. They can’t speak to each other.
In the poem by Prabhath Avadhanula, there is a cold vision of NY with the three adjectives at the beginning. The city is described by its subways so life is also underground as if people were ants. The city is swarming. We have also thus idea in the fact that streets are only described by the traffic rush. The hyperbole “million moving feet” underlines this idea of numbers and there’re not really people, they are just a group. There is no interaction between tourist and local people. Inhabitants despise tourists even if they play an important role for economy.
B.
NY has a superficial side. In the painting, we can just see the shops signs and lights. People are not interested in anything else that money. All is question of many. The excess of colors highlights an excess of information and advertising and it ides everything. The impression is impersonal and cold, even if they are hot colors. We can’t see anybody. Its night but they are many lights which pop up. There is no empty space. We are blindest by so many colors which lure people into consumption. NY has an economic exchange: there are lots of ads, all is mixed up. The city seems too tight and too narrow. There is no room for humans. We could then have a feeling of oppression with too many buildings. NY is false and superficial. The true values of life are not present in this city.
C.
Behind its glamorous sides of city with huge skyscrapers, large avenues with snow falling, cultural places and very majestic hotels, NY is, in fact, gloomy with a lot of garbage, sex, drugs and poverty (clothes hanging between old buildings for example). NY looks like a normal city with a lot of traffic and pollution.
To conclude, we can see two sides in NY: a positive side because NY is the famous city in the world with many places of exchanges and many places of art and different culture and a negative side because NY is dehumanized, superficial and gloomy with garbage, sex, drugs and poverty.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-11-2015 22:33
Un peu long peut-être?!
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