Correction/rédaction

Correction/rédaction
Message de lesommer9 posté le 14-12-2015 à 20:31:53 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai une rédaction à faire en anglais, mais je suis pas du tout sûr de moi. Est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait m'aider s'il vous plait ?
Voici ma rédaction, est ce que vous pouvez me dire quelles sont les erreurs des temps ... ?

Hope SOLO had a hard childhood. She was design in prison during a conjugual visit. She was born on 30th july 1981 in Richland, on Washington State. She grew within a very underprivileged family, with an alcoholic mother, a violent older brother and an absent father. At the age of seven, she was kidnapp with her brother by her father, but, fortunately, Hope and her brother were found a few days later. However, during her adolescance, she reconnected links with her father who initiated Hope to soccer. She found an escape in soccer. She enrolled in her first soccer school in 1996, in Richland High School.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 14-12-2015 21:33

---

Réponse: Correction/rédaction de sherry48, postée le 17-12-2015 à 21:50:35 (S | E)
Hello.
Here are some ideas to improve your text.
Hope SOLO had a hard childhood. She was design in prison during a conjugual SP visit. She was born on 30th july, 1981 in Richland, on Washington State. She grew __ within a very underprivileged family, with an alcoholic mother, a violent older brother and an absent father. At the age of seven, she was kidnapp with her brother use a compound subject with and by her father, but, fortunately, Hope and her brother were found a few days later. However, during her adolescance,SP she reconnected links with her father who initiated Hope to soccer. She found an escape in soccer. She enrolled in her first soccer school in 1996, in(better preposition) Richland High School.
SP means spelling error.
Bon courage.
Sherry

---

[POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais