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Correction/ texte scientifique
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Message de logarithme posté le 20-03-2016 à 15:13:44 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai écrit un texte scientifique à propos de la nouvelle planète Kepler-22b. Pourriez-vous s'il vous plait y jeter un rapide coup d'oeil et m'indiquer s'il est compréhensible et s'il ne contient pas trop de fautes d'anglais.
Merci d'avance pour votre aide.
Bonne journée
Can you imagine a second planet Earth? Where you could travel from our earth to another just like the one we have? Well, that’s what recently discovered scientists thanks to Kepler telescope. They called this planet Kepler -22b.
This planet is orbiting around a star, which is some 600 light years from here. By the way: do you know what we can say about the orbit of a planet?
The orbit of a planet and especially its path was given by the physicist Kepler in his 1st law : the law of Ellipses. He claimed that all planets move in elliptical orbits, wit the sun at one focus. Before him, everyone thought that the best shape of orbit was a circle. But they were wrong and Kepler found something better: the ellipse.
You have two foci; the sum of the distances between each focus and any point of the ellipse is constant. By the way, let me tell you that the eccentricity, e, is the distance between the 2 foci.
The further the 2 foci are, the longer and skinnier the ellipse. With that, you can deduce that if the e = 0 ( that’s to say the 2 foci are together) we have a perfect circle. Note that the earth eccentricity is equal to 0,0167 it’s almost a circle.
But let’s come back to our document, and I hope that my explications helped you to understand how and in which way Kepler 22b is orbiting around its star.
Now I’m sure you are wondering « But how can these scientist claim that Kepler 22b is a twin of our planet Earth? Well it’s pretty simple. There are many evidences which prove us that Kepler 22b could be a twin Earth? First of all we suppose that it’s a rocky world and that its gravity is about 2,4 times the ones of the earth.
Do you know anything about the earth gravity? If I had more time with you I would certainly explain it to but just know that on earth, the gravity is around 9,8 m.s-2.
Secondly, Kepler 22b has a sun like ours, that’s to say it is not too hot or too cold. And moreover Kepler 22b has an orbit which is appropriate and which allows liquid water to exist on the planet. This means that Kepler 22B is in the habitable zone of its system, this is, I think, why we can deduce that life could be possible, because in the habitable zone, you find liquid water. And as far as we know, liquid water is essential to life, same thing for the temperature. On Kepler 22B there is an average surface temperature of 22c.
I could also tell you some facts about the mass of Kepler, which can be calculated with Kepler 3rd law : the law of harmonies, but that’s too long to say for today.
Let me conclude now, Kepler 22b could be a beautiful and welcoming planet where life could exist. But that’s to hypothetic and many proves and researches have to be made before claiming anything else. But maybe our grand grand grand children would one day, put their foot on Kepler 22b
Why not ?
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-03-2016 15:18
Message de logarithme posté le 20-03-2016 à 15:13:44 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai écrit un texte scientifique à propos de la nouvelle planète Kepler-22b. Pourriez-vous s'il vous plait y jeter un rapide coup d'oeil et m'indiquer s'il est compréhensible et s'il ne contient pas trop de fautes d'anglais.
Merci d'avance pour votre aide.
Bonne journée
Can you imagine a second planet Earth? Where you could travel from our earth to another just like the one we have? Well, that’s what recently discovered scientists thanks to Kepler telescope. They called this planet Kepler -22b.
This planet is orbiting around a star, which is some 600 light years from here. By the way: do you know what we can say about the orbit of a planet?
The orbit of a planet and especially its path was given by the physicist Kepler in his 1st law : the law of Ellipses. He claimed that all planets move in elliptical orbits, wit the sun at one focus. Before him, everyone thought that the best shape of orbit was a circle. But they were wrong and Kepler found something better: the ellipse.
You have two foci; the sum of the distances between each focus and any point of the ellipse is constant. By the way, let me tell you that the eccentricity, e, is the distance between the 2 foci.
The further the 2 foci are, the longer and skinnier the ellipse. With that, you can deduce that if the e = 0 ( that’s to say the 2 foci are together) we have a perfect circle. Note that the earth eccentricity is equal to 0,0167 it’s almost a circle.
But let’s come back to our document, and I hope that my explications helped you to understand how and in which way Kepler 22b is orbiting around its star.
Now I’m sure you are wondering « But how can these scientist claim that Kepler 22b is a twin of our planet Earth? Well it’s pretty simple. There are many evidences which prove us that Kepler 22b could be a twin Earth? First of all we suppose that it’s a rocky world and that its gravity is about 2,4 times the ones of the earth.
Do you know anything about the earth gravity? If I had more time with you I would certainly explain it to but just know that on earth, the gravity is around 9,8 m.s-2.
Secondly, Kepler 22b has a sun like ours, that’s to say it is not too hot or too cold. And moreover Kepler 22b has an orbit which is appropriate and which allows liquid water to exist on the planet. This means that Kepler 22B is in the habitable zone of its system, this is, I think, why we can deduce that life could be possible, because in the habitable zone, you find liquid water. And as far as we know, liquid water is essential to life, same thing for the temperature. On Kepler 22B there is an average surface temperature of 22c.
I could also tell you some facts about the mass of Kepler, which can be calculated with Kepler 3rd law : the law of harmonies, but that’s too long to say for today.
Let me conclude now, Kepler 22b could be a beautiful and welcoming planet where life could exist. But that’s to hypothetic and many proves and researches have to be made before claiming anything else. But maybe our grand grand grand children would one day, put their foot on Kepler 22b
Why not ?
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-03-2016 15:18
Réponse: Correction/ texte scientifique de gerondif, postée le 21-03-2016 à 18:58:41 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert.
Can you imagine a second planet Earth? Where you could travel from our earth to another planet just like the one we have? Well, that’s what scientists recently discovered thanks to Kepler's telescope. They called this planet Kepler -22b.
This planet is orbiting around a star, which is some 600 light years from here. By the way: Do you know what we can say about the orbit of a planet?
The orbit of a planet and especially its path was (pluriel) given by the physicist Kepler in his 1st law : the law of Ellipses. He claimed that all planets move in elliptical orbits, wit the sun at one focus. Before him, everyone thought that the best shape of orbit was a circle. But they were wrong and Kepler found something better: the ellipse.
You have two foci; the sum of the distances between each focus and any point of the ellipse is constant. By the way, let me tell you that the eccentricity, e, is the distance between the 2 foci.
The further the 2 foci are, the longer and skinnier the ellipse. With that, you can deduce that if the e = 0 ( that’s to say the 2 foci are together) we have a perfect circle. Note that the earth eccentricity is equal to 0,0167 it’s almost a circle.
But let’s come (go) back to our document, and I hope that my explications helped you to understand how and in which way Kepler 22b is orbiting around its star.
Now I’m sure you are wondering « But how can these scientist(pluriel) claim that Kepler 22b is a twin of our planet Earth? Well it’s pretty simple. There are many evidences (evidence n'a pas de pluriel)which prove to us that Kepler 22b could be a twin Earth? First of all we suppose that it’s a rocky world and that its gravity is about 2,4 times the ones of the earth.
Do you know anything about the earth gravity? If I had more time with you I would certainly explain it to you but just know that on earth, the gravity is around 9,8 m.s-2.
Secondly, Kepler 22b has a sun like ours, that’s to say it is not too hot or too cold. And moreover Kepler 22b has an orbit which is appropriate and which allows liquid water to exist on the planet. This means that Kepler 22B is in the habitable zone of its system, this is, I think, why we can deduce that life could be possible, because in the habitable zone, you find liquid water. And as far as we know, liquid water is essential to life, same thing for the temperature. On Kepler 22B there is an average surface temperature of 22°c.
I could also tell you some facts about the mass of Kepler, which can be calculated with Kepler's 3rd law : the law of harmonies, but that’s too long to say for today.
Let me conclude now, Kepler 22b could be a beautiful and welcoming planet where life could exist. But that’s to hypothetic and many proves and researches have to be made(ce verbe ne va pas en commun pour proofs et research, ce dernier mot n'ayant pas de pluriel; On trouve des preuves et on fait des recherches) before claiming anything else. But maybe our grand grand grand children would (plutôt un futur ici) one day, put their foot on Kepler 22b
Why not ?
Réponse: Correction/ texte scientifique de logarithme, postée le 29-03-2016 à 18:32:00 (S | E)
Merci, voici mes corrections.
Can you imagine a second planet Earth? Where you could travel from our earth to another planet just like the one we have? Well, that’s what scientists recently discovered thanks to Kepler's telescope. They called this planet Kepler -22b.
This planet is orbiting around a star, which is some 600 light years from here. By the way: Do you know what we can say about the orbit of a planet?
The orbit of a planet and especially its path were given by the physicist Kepler in his 1st law : the law of Ellipses. He claimed that all planets move in elliptical orbits, wit the sun at one focus. Before him, everyone thought that the best shape of orbit was a circle. But they were wrong and Kepler found something better: the ellipse.
You have two foci; the sum of the distances between each focus and any point of the ellipse is constant. By the way, let me tell you that the eccentricity, e, is the distance between the 2 foci.
The further the 2 foci are, the longer and skinnier the ellipse. With that, you can deduce that if the e = 0 ( that’s to say the 2 foci are together) we have a perfect circle. Note that the earth eccentricity is equal to 0,0167 it’s almost a circle.
But let’s go back to our document, and I hope that my explications helped you to understand how and in which way Kepler 22b is orbiting around its star.
Now I’m sure you are wondering « But how can these scientists claim that Kepler 22b is a twin of our planet Earth? Well it’s pretty simple. There are many evidence which prove to us that Kepler 22b could be a twin Earth ? First of all we suppose that it’s a rocky world and that its gravity is about 2,4 times the ones of the earth.
Do you know anything about the earth gravity? If I had more time with you I would certainly explain it to you but just know that on earth, the gravity is around 9,8 m.s-2.
Secondly, Kepler 22b has a sun like ours, that’s to say it is not too hot or too cold. And moreover Kepler 22b has an orbit which is appropriate and which allows liquid water to exist on the planet. This means that Kepler 22B is in the habitable zone of its system, this is, I think, why we can deduce that life could be possible, because in the habitable zone, you find liquid water. And as far as we know, liquid water is essential to life, same thing for the temperature. On Kepler 22B there is an average surface temperature of 22°c.
I could also tell you some facts about the mass of Kepler, which can be calculated with Kepler's 3rd law : the law of harmonies, but that’s too long to say for today.
Let me conclude now, Kepler 22b could be a beautiful and welcoming planet where life could exist. But that’s to hypothetic and many proves have to be found and researches have to be made before claiming anything else. But maybe our grand grand grand children will one day, put their foot on Kepler 22b
Why not ?
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