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Oral/TMD Correction
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En basOral/TMD Correction
Message de julie04 posté le 30-05-2017 à 14:49:51 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je passe mon oral d'anglais dans quelques jours, car je suis en Terminale technique de la musique et de la danse. Pouvez-vous corriger mon texte sur la notion de Myths and heroes s'il vous plait? il faut savoir que je partais d'une image.
Merci beaucoup, vous me sauveriez quelques points pour mon Bac.
GOD BLESS AMERICA
This document is a commemorative poster, in colors. It must have been creating by an American artist. The viewer’s attention is drawn to flashy colors and multiple inscriptions and drawings.
It’s linked to the notion of myths and heroes. Indeed we can see the word ‘heroes’ and a date 09.11.2001.
The 09-11-2001, a terrorists attack occured, two planes crashed on the twin towers in NY, plus one on the Pentagon and one other in Pennsylvania, 19 Saudi terrorists did this.
The twin towers hosted the world Trade Center so targeting them was attacking the U.S economic power and supremacy. By hitting the Pentagon, they also targeted the American military power. But firefighters, police and doctors reacted as heros by sacrificing themselves to save people. The U.S can be proud of them, will remember them.
God Bless America (Dieu bénisse l’Amérique) shows love for America it’s patriotic. The patriotism is linked to the colors of the document. I which are on the flag of the U.S. We also find stars that are drawn and the mention of the nickname of the flag « stars and stripes ». On the flag, you have got 50 stars which represent 50 states and 13 stripes standing for the 13 first colonies.
In 1620, the first British settlers arrived in the U.S on the Mayflower. The document emphasizes the colors of the flag. It’s even written « red, white and blue » because when a nation is attacked, people tend to stand together and to unite under one flag: it’s written « United we stand ». They manifest their anger at being attacked but also express their attachment to the values that were attacked the military dominance in the world by striking the pentagon and the economic power and capitalism by hitting the World Trade Center.
We can link that to the values that we targeted by the attack on French soil : the attack on Charlie Hebdo aimed at liberty of expression and the one on the Bataclan and French coffee aimed at the French habit of going out to have fun, listen music, or have a drink, that’s to say the French culture.
To my mind, the fact to create commemorative poster allows not to forget our history and to show that we are not afraid that we are stronger than that. These attacks also allow us to revalorize the profession of firefighter, for example for their acts of bravery. But also to gather a population, to make it united.
Merci encore ;)
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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-05-2017 15:04
Message de julie04 posté le 30-05-2017 à 14:49:51 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je passe mon oral d'anglais dans quelques jours, car je suis en Terminale technique de la musique et de la danse. Pouvez-vous corriger mon texte sur la notion de Myths and heroes s'il vous plait? il faut savoir que je partais d'une image.
Merci beaucoup, vous me sauveriez quelques points pour mon Bac.
GOD BLESS AMERICA
This document is a commemorative poster, in colors. It must have been creating by an American artist. The viewer’s attention is drawn to flashy colors and multiple inscriptions and drawings.
It’s linked to the notion of myths and heroes. Indeed we can see the word ‘heroes’ and a date 09.11.2001.
The 09-11-2001, a terrorists attack occured, two planes crashed on the twin towers in NY, plus one on the Pentagon and one other in Pennsylvania, 19 Saudi terrorists did this.
The twin towers hosted the world Trade Center so targeting them was attacking the U.S economic power and supremacy. By hitting the Pentagon, they also targeted the American military power. But firefighters, police and doctors reacted as heros by sacrificing themselves to save people. The U.S can be proud of them, will remember them.
God Bless America (Dieu bénisse l’Amérique) shows love for America it’s patriotic. The patriotism is linked to the colors of the document. I which are on the flag of the U.S. We also find stars that are drawn and the mention of the nickname of the flag « stars and stripes ». On the flag, you have got 50 stars which represent 50 states and 13 stripes standing for the 13 first colonies.
In 1620, the first British settlers arrived in the U.S on the Mayflower. The document emphasizes the colors of the flag. It’s even written « red, white and blue » because when a nation is attacked, people tend to stand together and to unite under one flag: it’s written « United we stand ». They manifest their anger at being attacked but also express their attachment to the values that were attacked the military dominance in the world by striking the pentagon and the economic power and capitalism by hitting the World Trade Center.
We can link that to the values that we targeted by the attack on French soil : the attack on Charlie Hebdo aimed at liberty of expression and the one on the Bataclan and French coffee aimed at the French habit of going out to have fun, listen music, or have a drink, that’s to say the French culture.
To my mind, the fact to create commemorative poster allows not to forget our history and to show that we are not afraid that we are stronger than that. These attacks also allow us to revalorize the profession of firefighter, for example for their acts of bravery. But also to gather a population, to make it united.
Merci encore ;)
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-05-2017 15:04
Réponse : Oral/TMD Correction de here4u, postée le 31-05-2017 à 12:51:29 (S | E)
Hello!
GOD BLESS AMERICA
This document is a commemorative poster, in colors. It must have been creating (participe passé requis!) by an American artist. The viewer’s attention is drawn to flashy colors and multiple inscriptions and drawings
.It’s linked to the notion of myths and heroes. Indeed we can see the word ‘heroes’ and a date 09.11.2001.
The 09-11-2001, a terrorists attack occured, two planes crashed on the twin towers in NYCity, plus one on the Pentagon and one other= another one in Pennsylvania, 19 Saudi terrorists did this.
The twin towers hosted the world Trade Center; so (therefore) targeting them was attacking the U.S economic power and supremacy. By hitting the Pentagon, they also targeted the American military power. But firefighters, police and doctors reacted as heroEs by sacrificing themselves to save people. The U.S can be proud of them, will remember them.
God Bless America (Dieu bénisse l’Amérique) shows love for America; it’s patriotic. The Ppatriotism is linked to the colors of the document. I which are(represent?) ??? (Do you mean Document 1, sans article!)the flag of the U.S. We also find stars that are drawn and the mention of the nickname of the flag « stars and stripes ». On the flag, you have got 50 stars which represent the 50 states and 13 stripes standing for the 13 first colonies.
In 1620, the first British settlers arrived in the U.S on the Mayflower. The document emphasizes the colors of the flag. It’s even written « red, white and blue » because when a nation is attacked, people tend to stand together and to unite under one flag: it’s written « United we stand ». They manifest their anger at being attacked but also express their attachment to the values that were attacked the?? (ici, il manque de la ponctuation. Cemme ceci, cela ne veut rien dire!) military dominance in the world by striking the pentagon and the economic power and capitalism by hitting the World Trade Center.(that's a repetition!)
We can link that to the values that we(you? you were part of the terrorrists?)= were targeted by the attack on French soil : the attack on Charlie Hebdo aimed at the freedom
To my mind, the fact to create = constructioncommemorative poster allows not to forget our history and to show that we are not afraid; that we are stronger than that. These attacks also allow us to revalorize the profession of firefighter, for example for their acts of bravery. But also to gather a population, to make it= them united.
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